Thanks for the Bday Wishes

DJ BABY Yu.
Princess Vjay

Huang

Moi

Boomer

A. Davida

Dinosaur

Auntie D.

Bestie

Jr.

 Ziva David

Mi Hermana

ISS

A. Pegster

U. Yeff

Zombie Hunter

TfongKb 24
Jack Bauer

Commander in Chief

Papa Doc

Chrisp

Turbizzle

BB

Lil One

Grandpa Aviator

Nin n Yei

Thank you all for your thoughts.  This weekend I had some great memories and eating experiences.  Included were Boiling Crab, Espetus, Sandra Dees, and the Golden Island.  Went to my favorite place in the U.S. and spent it with some quality people.  Although it's just another day in the year, everyone reminds me of their love.

And, I can no longer play 23 on this blog. =\

Happy Birthday Shaun!. I hope all is well in Mexico. Be Safe Bro.

SacTown.

to Care be ful

To care  is to care passionately, unconditionally, and indefinitely
Until further noticed of destruction, disruption, or declination of feeling.
To care isn't a feeling who's mood is easily changed between good and evil,
But the sense that nothing drastically changes between the independent or dependent clauses
A permanent kind of causation in-essence, where the knowledge is an undoubted gesture .
We don't want someone to care just because we want them to,
Or else it would be only a care because of our want, not theirs
We genuinely want an individual to care because they want to care,
Because they want to share and compare,
The similarities, the differences, the memories.
The disasters, the tragedies, the storms.
To care is to be committed, regardless of the circumstance or the outcome, status, class
To care is to dependently independesize on the decisions and choices individuals other than yourself decide,
Not for the better of your life or happiness, but for their influence of yours.
A reciprocation of emotion and feeling, communion between persons coming together as a committed community because of commonalities comparing and contrasting contractions and contentions.
To care is to be involved and infected on any decision or indecision,
Like love, caring has its dangers of being hurt and used,
But it also has its enjoyment and moments to live for.
Like love, we can't control our level of caring, only know that we care.
How we care and what we care for is just as important as to who,
But who, always has the chance on ruining or destroying your dignity and character.
Never be fooled to care too much and receive too little.
Caring, like friendship, is a two way sacrificed, committed, compromised road.
Care for me and I'll care for you,
Just don't step on my toes.

why Me.

 

I am speechless and shell shocked, lost in her eyes as the future unravels of what could be possibly what should be.

She continues talking, unnoticed of my sporadic behavior between my phone and her diamonds.

I read the text as I read it last night, with disbelief that she wanted to see me again,"I'm game."

Lost in the eyes or lost in the conversation, what she doesn't know is my advantage. Or is it?

Why she is here again when she knows what I am capable speaks volumes to the highest skies, yet the curiosity of why instead of will overturns the probability of anything occurring.

I've had her before or so I thought, and that only ended with her laughter and my tears.

But not today, not this time. This time is all of my cards on the table for her to call my bluff .

Does she see it, all that she has, in the palm of her hand. Right through me.

I will follow her wherever she leads me, to heaven or to hell. Through the clouds, in the thunderstorms, until the rainbows.

I could show her beaches and the beauty in love, but does she need a co-pilot or another pet

She smiles at me as if she knows exactly what I'm thinking,

I grin as if I am Hiding to prevent myself getting left on this island of loneliness again.

The feeling she makes me feel without her trying, as if she wants me to fly and fall into misery playing the what if game.

Sometimes I wonder if she knows but what's the point in wondering when there's no way I would be here if I wasn't interested.

The question is, why is she here, what is she trying to gain, especially if someone has already claimed her.

Is it because she wants a new lover or is it because she needs a new companion.

I should tell her I don't want friends, I need a lover.

Does she need a lover cause if she had one, she wouldn't be here.

If she doesn't offer to tell, I shouldn't ask.

Rule 32 screams otherwise.

What she does to me is beyond my understanding. Is this the true love so many have spoke of and engraved in their hearts.

Because the beauty in this attraction and this new peak beyond my heart blows my mind.

I said I wouldn't love ever again because the heart ache broke my heart in more pieces than anyone could Count.

But what if this is the one, the one I've been waiting for my whole life.

What if this is the one I tell our kids one day, if I didn't speak my heart, your mom and I wouldn't be here.

Do I risk the pain and agony, break my rules, just for a chance.

A chance because I had a feeling, a feeling that I don't know possibly to be mutual.

Is it not supposed to be a compromise between two people?

A sacrifice and a promise.

If people were to know, they would think I was crazy.

Like Jacob in twilight, Lucas in One Tree Hill, like Jack in Titanic.

You jump, I jump, I'm too involved now.

If I told my parents, they would think I was thinking irrationally outside the boxes box.

Is the normal activity really normal, or is it paranormal like that activity.

All of this feeling and assurance because of a couple conversations over coffee and tea is ...

Beyond anything anyone can fathom, crazy or normal, smart or uneducated, fantasy or realism.

She is still here, reaching for a rope, hoping I will pull her up.

So why does it feel like I'm on the bottom of this rope.

She doesn't say the exact words but her actions are interpreted as if she wants me to advance my heart.

Maybe I am over thinking her actions as she is only playing the game for her amusement, to keep her guessing, to keep her intrigued.

As a decoy and a distraction to her real lover, who doesn't seem to pay her the mind of day.

I've seen this before and she's played the card as the innocent.

Her beauty plays distractions to the broken,

Her attitude, her stature, her swag is a puzzle mind game awaiting its next victim.

I can't be just another player, another item, another game piece.

She needs me even if she doesn't want me,

But women never like being told what to do or who to choose.

I can read anyone's mind and heart, but hers is too guarded written in riddles like a trap door awaiting its next victim.

Tell me you want me or that you like me,

Tell me that you're interested or at least possibly thinking about it.

Or what are we doing here, her and I,

Speaking of past feeling, of past hearts desires.

Does she want to build me up just to break me down,

Curious to know if she still has me in the palm of her hand.

To think she likes me is killing me because I like her and there seems to be nothing but a wall to stop me.

A tease or a manipulative maneuver to take me off the market forever.

Ruin my every opinion of hers.

Is there even a point to the encounters, a meaning behind the glass feelings.

Whatever doesn't kill me makes me stronger, but whatever doesn't make me, kills me.

But who am I to say anything.

I don't know anything at all.

Just that she's here and I am lost, lost in her eyes.

I never want this feeling to end, this moment to pass me by.

If only she knew of such feeling existed in me, would she commit.

I smile with this sense of happiness like something is actually going on, like something is actually here.

I continue to ask why when I shouldn't because she is here tonight, she has already decided to be here with me. Not there. No coincidence.

She gives me a deep, passionate hug, more than friends can feel and whispers,

"You can't connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards..."

Why me.

OctoberFest 2011

Every time you think the world comes falling down,

And there's nothing believed to have left.

When the world walks out,

And it seems like no one will walk in

Somewhere down that road, there is a street

A street you will recognize,

Who will remind you of your accomplishments,

Your character, your success, your life.

Don't let life beat you down, don't let it win

You're better than that.

Failures will come and go, 

As well as most of your acquaintances.

When there seems to be no light left in the darkest hour,

One, will keep the last candle, burning.

Sometimes, it's the least person you expect,

Or the one you never wanted to touch.

But it doesn't matter who,

Because they will, they will hold that flame.

For as long as it takes to get you back on your feet,

Until they burn their hand off

Until they pass your flame to another,

They will support you.

Not because they want to or have to,

Or like you and need you.

They stand there as a reminder of what you've done,

How you've helped them through the rain.

And what you're capable of, who you can be, and who you are.

When the world walks out, they remind you

"You Matter"

Maybe to a few, maybe to one.

You still matter.

Things are never how you think, It's not like that at all

If it didn't matter, they wouldn't have said anything at all.

Because in all reality, you are better than that.

And We don't say good-bye.

________________________________________________________________________________________

Last Month Thoughts.
Food For thought:  

Giants didn't make the playoffs. Neither did the Red Socks. Let Down.

The NBA and the players need to get some kind of deal sorted out because D Wade and Cp3 aren't getting any younger. This lockout is killing me!

How about them 49ers being 5-1!?
I think I'll get my parents tickets for Christmas to a game...cause I wanna go wear my Patrick Willis Jersey.

My adopted sister is getting married next month. Excited for Britt! =]

Music of the month:

Been listening more to movie scores and instrumentals than anything else.. The power of an instrument combined with multiple instruments to create an emotion where any sort of picture can be painted which a simple melody is beyond understanding.  And for it to be given as it is like air, breathe, water, wind, and gravity.

Song Picks of the Month : Shout to the Lord_Ruben Studdard, Rose _James Horner, Iridescent_ Linkin Park, 23_Jimmy Eat World, Beautiful People_Chris Brown, Islands in a Stream_BeeGees

Quote of the Month: 

 "It ain't about how hard you're hit, it's about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward- how much you can take, and keep moving forward. That's how winning is done!" - Rocky Balboa


Rule of the month: Rule #43 Dj Baby Yu will always brighten the mood.!

 

Thoughts of the Month: 

Lately, I've been letting the loneliness, failed companionship, and job failures get the best of me.  I've questioned the people in my life, and the reasons for downturns.  The feelings in my mind were let on to this page and It shouldn't have gotten that far.  But as of Tuesday, 10/18, I've turned over a new leaf.  My life is still up in the air...But I shouldn't question the failures, only appreciate the success and things I take for granted.

Goal of the Month:

_Find new hobbies for the big 2-4 and get one of my heroes [P Willis, Baby Yu, D Wade, T Swift,] to read a post (Not this post)

_Take More Pictures

Topic of the Moment:

We can't control anything beyond our grasp.

And Patrick Willis is still my hero, More than ever.
I can't embed this so, click this. 

She's Gone.

The distance she walks, the further away she becomes from the true meaning she has longed for. Days pass by like leaves flowing in the river downstream uptown. As spring sets in the city's glamorous evening incandescence, there is no Bright Lights shining tonight. Instead a yearning voice whispering a desperate cry for more then previous assistance in the past. Her patience is running out of the track like the tape runs out of a DVD. A romantic novelty is overtaken by the tragedy from uncontrollable, undeniable, misfortune circumstantial fixation.

The shadows enlargement overpowers her heart as colors venously slither away from her soul. 67 pieces erroneously fitted faced like a puzzles worst nightmare murmurs, 'The pieces don't fit here anymore.' Pain isn't premeditated, it's prescribed. What more can she do, because there's nothing left to say. She can't repair something she didn't break, nor can she replace what she never had. Tomorrow isn't a new day, it's a repeat of what happened yesterday. It's the feeling from the first day. She'll walk until the end of days searching for meaning while everyone searches for her. What they don't know is, She can't be found if she was never lost.

Step On my Toes. I double dare you.

Take a hard, long thought at what you've done.
Think about the lives you've effected.
The ones you disengaged, the ones you ruined.
Take a look of the villain standing in the mirror.
Do you like what you've become.
Lies you've spread through your teeth,
The deceit you filled by the look of your evil eyes.

There isn't any remorse in your heart.
There is only blackness.
Filled with fraudulent fabrication,
misrepresentation to the tall tale.
Misleading to the misguided.

Manipulate to the melancholy man
Undermine his specialty.

It doesn't give you power, only some sick fluctuated infatuation,
A disturbing self-satisfaction.
Stealing from a homeless man,
Taking advantage of an impaired,
Leading a lover to death.
Fools gold fooled fluted fools.
If only I said it before,
Step on my toes and I will step on your face.

Exaggerate your character as you do.
And I will rip your roots.
Destroy your mind, decimate your soul.
Life isn't a game, and People are not at your disposal.
The only one disposable is the one standing in the mirror.
Feed on your forgery fable,
Fabricate the falseness of your fictitious fib,
But don't ever again, cross my path.
Do it, one more time, I dare you.
Step on my toes, and I will stomp your face.

BOLDer.

all of Me.

There are a lot of things you don't know about me.

What you see, is what you get.  Nothing more, nothing less.

I don't wear the most make up like the models you like,

So expect anything but a model face.

My butt is not the biggest, my boobs are not as big as hers.

I laugh a lot, I cry too little.

Emotional, yet independent.

Dependent on sentimental.

I won't be as cute as you search and I can't be everything you want.

I like attention when you least expect it,

I let shopping get the best of me.

I'll drag you to intolerable events and obligated family parties.

There will be times you'll feel uncomfortable,

But I promise to never leave you out.

As you can tell, I'm not the prettiest girl in the park.

Nor am I the most talented or skilled of the bunch.

I have tattoos your parents won't like, and I have an attitude you'll find so discouraging.

I dance like nobody is watching, I act like nobody will care.

I am not depressed of being alone, 

Yet I am compressed of romantic affection.

If she ain't going to treat you right than I ain't ever gonna treat you wrong.

Our differences are more that it should break us, Yet it will only touch us if you let it.

I can't try to be everything you want, But I will do my best to be everything that you need.

I will be your biggest fan, through thick and thin with the largest smile, cheek to cheek.

Support you when you are down and lost, even if I don't have a GPS to get us out.

Cherish the good and the ugly. no matter how hard it seems.

I've been stepped on, pushed around, used, abused, and broken,

So I don't expect you to fix me or the 67 other things that are wrong.

Just know that you're the brightest part of my day.
And everything else just goes away.

I can't explain to you how I feel in words,

All I know is that I feel them when I am with you.
Only you.

I just hope I am enough for you,

Because all I can offer is me.
All of Me.

Circle.

 

Happy Birthday Best.

The good in people

They come, they go.

Strangers, acquaintances, friends.

Everyone is capable,

But the measure lies in the individual.

It's not what they got,

Or how much they have.

Money can't put a price tag on it.

Because to the right person, it's priceless .

There's nice people, the ones who are sweet, genitive, caring.

But overall, good people?

Nah those are a dime a couple hundred dozenZ

It isn't what they do for themselves,

it's what they're willing to do for  others.

It's their selflessness and their morality,

Their dedication, their sacrifice.

Every now and then we mix them up with the nice group.

But when it comes down to it, When you think about them.

It's beyond nice. It's beyond most them.

They tell it how it is, not how they see it, or how we want to see it

How much they are willing to go out of their way to make someone else's life better

Not because they want to, or need to, or have to.

But because it's apart of them.

Their talent, Their character.

Calm, collective, courageous.

Their will power, their drive,

To the Number 1 Good.

Happy Birthday best.

If you ruled the world

If you ruled the world, there would be no world.
If the things you wanted in life were given,
There would be no meanings in life.
The right time to act is never wrong liven'
Happiness is a state of mind, not the state of item.
Silence is a poisonous action,
Yet necessary in difficult times.
Words unspoken are people awaiting the confession.
Expectations are disappointments waiting to destroy us.
Dreams are the one thing that drives us.
We live for love, the pursuit of happiness,
But you forgot to read the fine print, It says 'Money strongly correlates.'
The people in our lives are the ones we love,
Everyone else is a stranger who comes and goes.
One conductor is a faint reminiscence of the wind blows.
Musicians of disjointed notes are a traffic jam lined fashion.
While an orchestra's symphony moves mountains.
Why settle the world as a follower, when you can be the trend.
To be stubborn is to be blind.
Only one person is on your thoughts mind.
Doubt the cause, lose the opportunity,
Struggle with your life, struggle to find immunity.
Life is the reflection of your success.
What you don't have is what you didn't work for.
Always working is always fighting for nothing less.
Anything less is everything you choose to ignore.
The person you like doesn't like you as much,
They probably don't even like you at all.
But the one you love, loves you more than you think.
All good things never last, Most just want to be be friends.
Find the ones who are more. All great things never end.
Are we suppose to brake our lives when that one special spoken
Becoming hypocrites as rules are meant to be broken.
We all struggle but we only hear about success.
Never hear anything about average, only stories of the best.