Never Good

It is what It is,
Nothing more, nothing less.
I've been down this road before.
Maybe not with you, maybe not for you.
But by golly, I have been down this road.
If you think by me being down this road before,
stops me from trespassing these broken walls.
You're wrong.
You think I don't know what you don't think I know,
Whatever it is, I know.
Whatever you think, I believe.
And whatever you want, I give.

Every person is different, and every person tells you their different.
But that's not really up to them to decide,
Who's different, who's not.
Individually, we are all different.
But together, we all whole.
You think this world can have 7 billion people,
and not one single duplicate.
One thought, one factor, one mind.
You think because you do something one way,
That makes you different.
No, the things that you do different are being done exactly the same.
You just don't know about it,

I would've went Heaven and Earth to make sure you were happy.
You brush me off with just one sweep.
Every little mistake I made, was magnified.
Every little doubt, was exclamated.
Every little feeling, a lie.
You think you feel what you never felt before,
But those look in your eyes tell me your lying.
The words you never said are the words I know the truth.
It doesn't take a mind genius to know, it's wrong.

Nobody likes to take the blame, so allow me to be the fall.
You want to tell me these lies of feeling, of emotions, of happiness.
It was I who was not able to satisfy your every need.
I was a want, no a need.
A necessary commodity, an unreliable source.
It was me who was wrong for you.
Because like before, they are never wrong for me.
It is my fault I am never good enough.

In the end, nothing has changed.
The script, as once before, written a thousand times.
Like a copy, a duplicate love story.
Same main character, different supporting cast.
It does not take someone who does not love,
A big Fuck You sign, to tell me I'm not enough.
You did not have to lead me to believe,
that I was the Right, or the Perfect.
A thousand stories have been written under the circle,
A thousand stories return empty and broken.
How do I believe your different when you follow the book.

If we could change the world together, I would in a heart beat.
You know I would.
But you want to change the world with someone else.
After all the things we have been through, you finally got it through my head.
I was never the one you wanted, only a stepping stone.
Like Swiss Beats and Jay Z, it's On to the Next one.

You think I'd be good at Good Byes since I've seen so many.
With every entrance comes an exit, and It is definitely my time.
It's okay, you don't need an excuse or a lame fight to tell me,
You don't want me.
You don't have to tell me you're scared to move forward,
As it's only a reason to leave me behind.
You can't move forward when you're stuck on someone else.
Just like you can't move on when you're heart is with them.
The only thing You want me to do is move over.

You don't need to ask,
I won't believe anything else.
The only thing I ever wanted was you to be happy.
And with that, it is clear to me that I failed.
So go on love, take what you can these days.
I'm sorry, I was never enough.

Circle. O

Psycho

I guess people need to read things in writing to get the big picture.

Texting someone who doesn't text you back doesn't mean keep texting them.

Silent treatment isn't a game, it means stop talking.

The only silent treatment played is between two people who are in a relationship

If they openly talk about people they are attracted to, means you are likely not one of them.

Good bye from someone who doesn't say good bye means the friendship is over.

Being a stalker , being a creep, being anything but normal is psychotic and crazy.

Never put all your eggs in one basket, kind of means never put all your feelings in one thing.

If you don't know If they like you, follow their actions.

If you click their Facebook and the only posts you see are yours, doesn't mean they singled you out. It means they blocked you.

If you didn't get the hints from the words: creep, stop, psycho,, you need some serious help.

Don't flip the script to make yourself feel better.

The words that people say are usually in black and white unless further noted. For example:
"We were only friends" doesn't mean try harder. 

"fuck off Tarzan" isn't a positive thing.

Blowing up someone's phone via twitter, instagram, wwf, aim, email, text or calls = turn off

Turn off doesn't mean it was ever turned on.

Principles exceed the needs and wants of others.

Talking negative about someone with your friends doesn't bring them closer, it usually means get over it.

Learn how to control yourself before you try to swoop on a person.

You can't take care of someone if u can't take care of yourself.

Learn the rules of engagement.

Read between the lines, it usually means what it sounds like, not what you think.

Things are usually simple. Complicated things never exist, only in your head.

If you don't see the reason, you might need to take a step back.

Life isn't a joke, stop wasting your time on false things.

Belief and knowledge are different. Ones a fact. The other is a wish.

You're stronger than you think.

Denver.Downtown.

The Words Left Unsaid.

The Words left Unsaid.

The valley of feeling is worse than the valley of death.
To live in fear is to live with doubt.
Failure isn’t an act, it’s a shortage.
Shadows don’t feel pain.
Emotions overcome concrete plans.
Music feels more than love.
Loving in action is not loving in word.
Driving needlessly is the only settling.
Lost with no destination.
Character isn’t seen in good times.
Disappointments are a given.
Understanding is never looking back..
Flying further than a runway.
Lying isn’t anything less than the truth.
Free fall in space.
Sanity doesn’t exist.
Fake til proven.
Tears are a reminder of history.
Honesty comes from the parenting.
Forgiveness isn’t an action, it’s a mistake.
Hang up the shoes. Walk, don’t run.
Dedication isn’t a desire, it’s needed.
A bag of chips is filled with air.
Reach for the sky is more than a jump.
One of a kind beats any quads.
Defeat isn’t a loss, it’s a sacrifice.
Built up feeling is a heart waiting to break.
Circles never break
Nothing is space with no stars.
Never again.

Rule #32

When Dreams Become a Reality.

Part I.

Everything isn't as it seems as scene on the cinemas.
We have minimum meaningless relationships to temporary pleasure us.
The Friendships aren't what we live for,
Relationships are what we die for.
You can't erase what's happened, only affect what will happen.
The memories of love, memories of laughin.
Nobody can take away this feeling.

We have these ideas formed from movie scenes
In our best efforts, we re-create these moments in our dreams.
We live in a reality where dreams become real.
And we capture these moments to create such a feel.
Live in the moment because no one can take the moment away.
No matter where we are, when it is, we can re-live the moment anyway.
Yet it's not what we did, or what was said.
It's who we were with, and the feeling that will never go undead.

Is life about the moments that take our breath away.
Or is it the long run of love experienced everyday.
But what if the world only gave us one.
What if we were never in for the long run.
Only lived in the moments made speciality.
These moments were our only reality.

It's not who you know, or who you met.
It's who made you feel the way you felt.
We take it all in, re-living in the moment, Treasuring the feeling.
We evaluate, think, re-think the value of its meaning.
These are what we die for, this is what life's about.
The only ones who've stayed when the world walks out.
The only thing keeping you moving,
Is the only thing keeping you going.
Living in the moment, living the moment for life.

Part II.

They ask, why do you do it for?
Put yourself through this much pain and suffer.
Live in regrets or Kill the worst efforts.
Living a life of fiction, hopeless romantic.
Romanticizing something in fake, Making real what isn't.
Creating scenes in life like they were meant for a Hollywood movie scene.
Raise our morality, raise our self esteem. And live out these dreams.
Writing dialogue between two people as if it's already happening.
Trying to put onto paper the feeling of living.
Because this living feeling is the only alive feeling.

Realism is reality but much of it's gone unseen.
You Kill these dreams, you kill my self esteem.
Everyone has their own history, their own stories.
But what isn't alive now are just vague memories.
What if you could make the memories internally
Turn a story of glory to live eternally.
That's what features our desire for the cinemas
Chasing our goals, living our dreams, pleasure us.
It shows us a glimpse of what the feeling is

Haven't felt the feeling of in love.
Only the feeling of being loved and to love.
You see, people will come, people will go.
Only love we know of is seen in tv shows.
Past relationships are past failures.
One night stands are one nights pleasures.
Nothing matters when There's only one treasure.

Dreams are only thing that make your world
Feel the pleasure of knowing your treasure girl.
Living in fantasy, there's no limit of your excitement,
Living in reality, there's only fact of disappointment.
Your hopes, your soul, your dream, It's indestructible
And everyone in it, everything apart of your wishes, incorruptible.


Part III.

You've been here before, and you know how this goes.
You question their motives, their morales, their character.
You've seen this approach before, and it never worked.
Yet something oddly feels strangely different.
In every scenario in every dream, the dialogue you made was good.
But every time you talk in reality, the dialogue is even better.
This one is different.
Everything you did before, whether good, bad, or ugly, doesn't matter.
And Life is just that much better, knowing there's such a person who exists.
In your dream, you plan every little thing you hope will happen.
But this isn't a dream anymore, this is your life.

One day, a person will walk into your life unexpectedly and will change your life forever.
I truly believe that there's one person who captures your heart from one simple hello.
From that moment on, a feeling, a feeling you've never experienced, takes over your body.
As your relationship grows, the more you grow fond of them.
The more words they speak, the less you dislike about them.
The more acts they do, the less you'll doubt yourself.
You can't put into words how this person makes you feel.
It feels sort of like flying.
You just know, this is the one. The only.
And when you find this person, you fight like hell for them.
You do things you never thought were possible in your genes,
You try things you thought you never try.
It's not the give and take, or the pull and give.
It's the sacrifice wanted to be taken in order to fulfill their desires.
Their character and morality inspires you to become a better person.
They push you to the limits you thought you never could reach.
You do things not because you want to, but because they would want you to.
It's waking up every morning next to them, only wishing to go back to bed again.
Never did you think such a person of beauty and grace exist.
Their dedication to their friends and family,
Along with their hard work and community service.
The sweetest honey in the world couldn't measure up to them.
Not even your dreams could add up to this one.
The script was perfect, the movie was beautiful.
Reality is living your dream.

Let me tell you something you already know.
When this person walks in your door, take that chance you never took.
Sometimes we miss on grand opportunities because we are afraid of what might happen.
You never know what might happen.
If this was that one person that changed your life forever, wouldn't you risk it all.
Because you sure as hell don't want to be living knowing they're there.
You will have it bad like Usher all damn day.
Don't think about getting shot down because if it was meant to be, it would be.
Risk it all, put your heart on the line, fight for the cause, even if it could be lost.
Sometimes, knowing of failure is better,
Sometimes, the beauty is in the attempt.
It's not about finding that perfect person, It's passing up the perfect one for the best one.
The best ones are the ones you work for.
Only you know what you want, only you can stop yourself from capturing it.
It might've been a long journey, but once you get there.
You are there.
Where your dreams, became your reality.

Like or Love, it's over Part 3

Like or Love or None of the above.
Is it like or is it love.
The feeling you get when you're around someone.
What about the feeling you don't get when you're around them.
The times they've hurt you so bad you question yourself, "Why am I here."
The times they've told you they'll be there, but they weren't.
Or the times they showed up late to your event.
That's love right? At least like?
We are human. We make mistakes.
We forgive. But never forget.
And the relationship will repair itself.
Forgiveness is a beautiful thing.
So we stay.

"Fool me once, shame on them. Fool me twice, shame on me."
Scars. Scars remind us of our broken hearts.
Scars remind us our broken hearts were once torn apart.
Afraid, Weak, Scarred, that is what we are.
Nobody likes to live alone. Nobody likes to be alone.
So we stay committed to something half committed.
We commit to the one thing we believe will change.
We stay committed to the one person you believe is different.
We stay committed because it's the one thing we hope for.
And in order to stay committed, we ask ourselves the question.
Is it worth it.
Do the gains exceed the pain.
Do the desires exceed the needs.
We think we love them, We tell ourselves we love them.
But we don't love em. We don't even like em'
We tell ourselves we love em' so we won't leave.
We tell them we love em' so they won't leave.
Is it Like ? Is it Love.

Our insecurities about ourselves and that one person become our closest friends problems.
Our insecurities are questioned to our friends.
"Tell me now what you see."
We believe their experience will cover our inexperience.
We believe because they know us, they will choose for us.
They are the third party in the relationship, so they will be neutral.
Wrong.
They are for us because they are our friend, that is why we went to them.
So instead, we go to someone who we call our acquaintance.
We share, we ask, we question.
What do we do, have you ever been in this situation, what's going to happen.?
But you have already answered that question.
You don't realize that everything you expressed is every reason to leave.
And you rebuttal because you believe they can change.
But you've already been down this road before.
And if you're driving down the same road in the wrong direction, you know one things for sure.
You have to turn around.

Is it like or is it love.
The reason you stay. Stay miserable.
Maybe your comfortable. Maybe you offer another chance.
Maybe your wrong, maybe your friend is wrong. They will change.
They've done it before. It's just a mistake.
And we should forgive the ones we love.
Right?

How long are you going to replay that.
How long are you going to stay.
How long are you willing to stay.
The measure of your love isn't measure by the time you stay.
Ask yourself, are you happy.
Ask yourself, why aren't you happy.
The only reason you're not leaving is because your comfortable.
The only reason you're not staying is because it's too complicated to leave.
My bank accounts shared with his.
What about our future vacation.
What about our mutual friends, what would they say?
Shouldn't I sacrifice just one more time?

Is it Like or is it love?
It's over.
Face the facts and face reality.
The one thing you were holding on to isn't worth holding on to.
It doesn't matter what she says, he says.
It doesn't matter what I say.
At the end of the day, what you want isn't what you have.
What you want is more than what you have.
People will always offer their opinions, their advice.
Should you listen? Yeah.
But you're not making the decision for them.
You're making the decision for you.
You don't stay because they want you there.
You don't stay because you don't want to be there.
Do you love them? Yeah.
Are you in love with them? Well, if you've gotten this far, NO.
How long are you going to stay until YOU change.

Is it Like or is it love?
It's none of the above.
There are over 6 billion people in this world.
There's more than just one right person.
You just haven't found them yet.
Stop living comfortable.
Stop being scared.
Stop being lazy.
Learn from your mistakes.
Because you never realize what life has more to offer.
Chase your dreams. Follow Your heart.
Not your friends, not mine. Nobody else's.
Blessings are a gift and we shouldn't put a question mark where God put a period.
At the end of the day, the only person in the relationship is you.
The only person in charge of your life is you.
Do something about it.

Snowin in June

There comes a time when you reach your darkest hour.
And when this time comes, the tornado has no mercy.
Everyday you wish to stay in bed and never go anywhere.
Have you ever been in a white out with the power out and the heat gone.
It takes you by surprise because you've never experienced it.
And everything else is covered in snow making it impossible to leave.
You were standing there in the wake of devastation
Living on the edge of the unknown.
You look to your concrete, your backbone, your strength.
And To no surprise, You were standing there, possibly alone.
It wasn't because you weren't friendly, and it wasn't because you weren't fair.
Some say you're the nice one, others say you're the best friend anyone could ask for
But none of that really matters when you need someone for yourself.
You really don't know who's dependable until you need them.
You really don't know when you need them until they ignore your calls.
And when you realize things aren't always how they seem .
Words mean a lot but silence means so much more.
"Not mad, you just have this tendency to cause problems, whether it's deliberate or not."
It's always when you least need someone when you have em'
And they're never there when you need them most.
Brotherhood is built on this, friendships die because of it.
What we once were, we are no more.
The words are filled with deception, never filling them to be complete.
It's time to let go, it's time to move on.
You'll catch frostbite if you stay in the snow too long.
You'll die if you don't move on.
Thank you world for not being there when I needed you most.

Dear Evelyn.

Dear Evelyn,

They say the best thing anyone can do regardless of their emotion is smile.
I remember the first time I ever met you, standing there looking lost.
You breathed, you looked, and you stood tall.
And without a peep, you peered my way and passed that pretty smile.
Til this day, I swear it was contagious. Til this day, I can still picture that smile.

As we began our long, adventurous conversation, a journey began.
A journey that seemed indefinite. A journey that lasted a lifetime, it seemed.
You were a ginger who dyed your hair brown.
Well-rounded curving stature with those big, gorgeous eyes.
In the winter they were green, while in the summer, they transformed blue.

Gosh, thinking about it now, it seemed like yesterday that we started dating.
You were getting out of that long-three year relationship.
I was on the move all the time and had no time for a relationship.
Ah relationship, the word we both described to each other as evil.
The word we both decided to pass up and settle for friends.

We would text each other while pre-occupied with our boring school lives.
We would call each other in between work or study breaks, just to see what was happening after.
Somehow, the only thing we did after the school, work, and study was hanging out.
Friends, huh? I don't remember the last time I had a friend like you.
It's funny how attraction is. Both sub-consciously and consciously.

I didn't know friends could talk so much about varies of topics.
I didn't know friends could act like they weren't attracted to each other ever.
I didn't know friends could go on dates, flirt, and still not say a word about it.
Friends who respected each other's opinions, Friends who knew each other's desires.
Looking back, It's a little funny how friends could be lovers and lovers couldn't be friends.

What about that time your ex called you on your birthday.
We had just gotten done with dinner with your parents and were talking outside Starbucks.
Having a good time, sipping on some coffee outside on the clear, starry-night.
Temperatures were in the seventies, yet you still wanted my coat.
And then the phone rang.

It was your ex calling to wish you a Happy Birthday.
In respect and privacy, I zoned out your voice and paid more attention to the stars.
It must've been longer than it seemed because all I remember was you slamming your phone on to the table.
The phone went flying, the drink almost spilling, and tears started falling.
That night, I learned for the first time, how to wipe your tears.

And then there was that one night. Yes, I remember that night clearly. Do you remember?
I came over to your house to watch that chick flick I didn't want to watch, and loved it.
And I wiped your tears because all you could do was cry because it was over.
Afterwards, you made us an ice cream sundae, which sucked because there was no root beer.
While you were in the kitchen, I looked under some papers to find a letter.

...To be Continued...



I have been keeping these feelings inside for such a long time my love.
I honestly do not know how to say all my feelings in words and thought it'd be better to write them out.
You know, vent, think, day dream, and of course write.
Write exactly what it is I feel, exactly what it is I want.
And in return, I only ask for your honesty.

The chance I am taking in telling you my emotions is high.
It could be me gaining a lover or losing my friend.
It could be the last of the worst, or the beginning of the best.
It could be the ending of something good, or starting of something great.
And each time after contemplating back and forth, I realize taking a risk is better
Than saying What If.

From the first time I ever saw you, I was speechless.
From the first time I ever met you, I thought you were the one.
From the first time I ever talked to you, I knew you were somebody great.
For the first time ever, I was enchanted to meet you.
And from every time after that, I remind myself of how lucky I am to have you here.

I've never had a friendship like yours my dear.
It is simply too complex to even begging to label our ship.
I just got out of a long relationship, and you just moved back to the area.
Somehow, someway, we both agreed what was worse for our interest, was better for our hearts.
But if that is the case, why does my heart skip a beat whenever I am with you.

I want you to know that,
This friendship is the best-worst thing that's ever happened.
This friendship is the best-worst thing that I've ever had.
This friendship is the best-worst thing that's ever been mine.
I know this might be a little too much and a little too deep.
But this is how I feel, and this is what I want.

What I want is you. What I want is you. What I want is you.
It's always has been you, from day one.
From day one, I was too stubborn to admit it.
From day one, I was too shy to confront it.
From day one, I didn't think I would have to chase it.

The minutes you spent teaching me the game of Baseball.
The hours you wasted taking me to find my favorite shoes.
The days you brought me food, or took me to get ice cream.
The nights you kept me from shedding my tears, listening about the Asshole.
And the months you always kept me smiling.

I'll forever be indebted, forever I'll be grateful.
Until you kick me to the curb, I will stay thankful.
I told you from day one, you're not cute, You're beautiful.
And if you take me by the hand, take me, my body, and my soul
Forever I'll be yours, Forever I'll never depart.
This is more than a friendship, this is more than just art.
I want you to accept me. I want to be yours. And I will give you my heart.
I will ride with you. I will die for you.
I will support you, I will cherish you.
Because baby, I do, I do.
I want to be with you.

To be Continued.