Dear Evelyn.

Dear Evelyn,

They say the best thing anyone can do regardless of their emotion is smile.
I remember the first time I ever met you, standing there looking lost.
You breathed, you looked, and you stood tall.
And without a peep, you peered my way and passed that pretty smile.
Til this day, I swear it was contagious. Til this day, I can still picture that smile.

As we began our long, adventurous conversation, a journey began.
A journey that seemed indefinite. A journey that lasted a lifetime, it seemed.
You were a ginger who dyed your hair brown.
Well-rounded curving stature with those big, gorgeous eyes.
In the winter they were green, while in the summer, they transformed blue.

Gosh, thinking about it now, it seemed like yesterday that we started dating.
You were getting out of that long-three year relationship.
I was on the move all the time and had no time for a relationship.
Ah relationship, the word we both described to each other as evil.
The word we both decided to pass up and settle for friends.

We would text each other while pre-occupied with our boring school lives.
We would call each other in between work or study breaks, just to see what was happening after.
Somehow, the only thing we did after the school, work, and study was hanging out.
Friends, huh? I don't remember the last time I had a friend like you.
It's funny how attraction is. Both sub-consciously and consciously.

I didn't know friends could talk so much about varies of topics.
I didn't know friends could act like they weren't attracted to each other ever.
I didn't know friends could go on dates, flirt, and still not say a word about it.
Friends who respected each other's opinions, Friends who knew each other's desires.
Looking back, It's a little funny how friends could be lovers and lovers couldn't be friends.

What about that time your ex called you on your birthday.
We had just gotten done with dinner with your parents and were talking outside Starbucks.
Having a good time, sipping on some coffee outside on the clear, starry-night.
Temperatures were in the seventies, yet you still wanted my coat.
And then the phone rang.

It was your ex calling to wish you a Happy Birthday.
In respect and privacy, I zoned out your voice and paid more attention to the stars.
It must've been longer than it seemed because all I remember was you slamming your phone on to the table.
The phone went flying, the drink almost spilling, and tears started falling.
That night, I learned for the first time, how to wipe your tears.

And then there was that one night. Yes, I remember that night clearly. Do you remember?
I came over to your house to watch that chick flick I didn't want to watch, and loved it.
And I wiped your tears because all you could do was cry because it was over.
Afterwards, you made us an ice cream sundae, which sucked because there was no root beer.
While you were in the kitchen, I looked under some papers to find a letter.

...To be Continued...



I have been keeping these feelings inside for such a long time my love.
I honestly do not know how to say all my feelings in words and thought it'd be better to write them out.
You know, vent, think, day dream, and of course write.
Write exactly what it is I feel, exactly what it is I want.
And in return, I only ask for your honesty.

The chance I am taking in telling you my emotions is high.
It could be me gaining a lover or losing my friend.
It could be the last of the worst, or the beginning of the best.
It could be the ending of something good, or starting of something great.
And each time after contemplating back and forth, I realize taking a risk is better
Than saying What If.

From the first time I ever saw you, I was speechless.
From the first time I ever met you, I thought you were the one.
From the first time I ever talked to you, I knew you were somebody great.
For the first time ever, I was enchanted to meet you.
And from every time after that, I remind myself of how lucky I am to have you here.

I've never had a friendship like yours my dear.
It is simply too complex to even begging to label our ship.
I just got out of a long relationship, and you just moved back to the area.
Somehow, someway, we both agreed what was worse for our interest, was better for our hearts.
But if that is the case, why does my heart skip a beat whenever I am with you.

I want you to know that,
This friendship is the best-worst thing that's ever happened.
This friendship is the best-worst thing that I've ever had.
This friendship is the best-worst thing that's ever been mine.
I know this might be a little too much and a little too deep.
But this is how I feel, and this is what I want.

What I want is you. What I want is you. What I want is you.
It's always has been you, from day one.
From day one, I was too stubborn to admit it.
From day one, I was too shy to confront it.
From day one, I didn't think I would have to chase it.

The minutes you spent teaching me the game of Baseball.
The hours you wasted taking me to find my favorite shoes.
The days you brought me food, or took me to get ice cream.
The nights you kept me from shedding my tears, listening about the Asshole.
And the months you always kept me smiling.

I'll forever be indebted, forever I'll be grateful.
Until you kick me to the curb, I will stay thankful.
I told you from day one, you're not cute, You're beautiful.
And if you take me by the hand, take me, my body, and my soul
Forever I'll be yours, Forever I'll never depart.
This is more than a friendship, this is more than just art.
I want you to accept me. I want to be yours. And I will give you my heart.
I will ride with you. I will die for you.
I will support you, I will cherish you.
Because baby, I do, I do.
I want to be with you.

To be Continued.

Greatest Marriage Proposal EVER!!!

Go On Love

They say money can't buy your love, but it didn't say anything about time.
Everyday passes like there's something missing.
Everyday passes and I think there's something gone.
Stripped or stolen, lost never found,
It's the simple things in life we often forget,
Something so easy yet made so complicated.
It doesn't have to be this hard, but these obstacles become more than impossible.
Some of the things I wanna say aren't coming out right,
and I"m tripping over my words like I never thought I could think.

I can't back down but I'm losing so much time.
How many mountains must I climb, How many mountains can I move.
All it takes is both of us to be heart to heart,
And we'll make it greater, less apart
Is it too late, too late to be gone?
Maybe I should've missed my flight,
Maybe I should've stayed one more night.
Is it gone because we think it's over, or is it over because we think it's gone.

It's been awhile since we've last spoke,
We always seen eye to eye, how's your family doing?
It seems so empty without you, I never quite got used to it.
Do you ever think about me? Do your friends still tell you what to do?
Do you ever get homesick? I can't get used to it.
It's nothing I ever cared about, you're something I've always dreamed about
You used to be there for me all the time, and I was always glad to save you.
I always wanted to.
And without you, I feel incomplete.
It was always meant to be, but you always have the perfect words to say.
And though I hated you for doing so, I still think about you.
I want to need you and I know I miss you.
I forgive you.

Funny when you start to think, time flows faster than you blink.
We had a special thing, everything that's happened and all the feelings it brings.
Nothing's ever like it was.
Sweet like spinach, sour like candy.
I still think about you.
All I ever wanted was you, and you're still the one.
I know you see me right now, and know how it feels.
One look in your eyes and there's three little words that say it all.

Funny how I'm nervous still.
Could it be everything's by chance, or was everything meant to be.
I still can't walk away, not just yet.
You always kill me with the perfect things to say.
Every couple of months go and I won't face my mistakes.
Every couple of months I remind myself, I'll only crash and burn.
So as you turn and leave, let me say one last thing.

Go on love, Leave while there's still hope for escape.
Take what you can these days.
There's so much I had, so much regret.
There's so much more I should've done, so much more I could've done
And I loved you, and I should've said it.

Let's go haiku natures

Warmer sunny breezes
During night crickets star gaze
Ocean tides are here

Smooth, swift, calm, and finesse
Flashing lights as lightning flash,
Never seen a man beast.

Dwyane Wade

Remember iridescent .

Sometimes we don't have the dignity or the confidence to share.
Nor do we want to admit, declare or express ourselves.
We often are too dramatized or afraid to say these words or act our emotions.
Instead of following our heart, we allow our brains to do the thinking.
The best things we want to do differ from the important things we have to do. 
Somewhere along the way we sidetrack into a more livable life.
A more pleasant, daily-routined, comfortability.

What we want is always the opposite of what we get. 
Probably because what we want is never what we need.
Most of us are too afraid to admit it.
Others are too afraid to share it.
And lastly, we all try to outstand it.
But that emptiness, that feeling will never go away.
Even if for once we admit it, the empty, incomplete, heart-ache is still there.

Remember the good ol days?
The days where things made sense.
Life wasn't a breeze, but it was meaningful.
It was pointless or alone,
And the world seemed to a bitty understand you.
Yeah, those were the days.

The days of studying in school,
Joking about her style, and teasing her for her character.
Or the days he'd visit at school with a surprise, or work with a visit.
Maybe it was the pull and give, she'll come to him, and he'd chase her.
The days she would eat dinner with his fam, and he would eat dinner with her friends.
And yes, the night he'll never forget, where the tables just flipped upside down.
It's like he moved to the other side of the world, and she moved on to another feeling.

Though those days are over now, there's never a day where they don't think.
What if, how come, why not?
Maybe in another life he writes.
Never in a million year she thinks.
It was timing, no it was work. No it was nothing.
Whatever the case, she lives on.
Whatever the case, he made a choice.
She might not admit it, but he misses her.
And he should've never gotten on that plane.

Up is Down.

A lot has changed since you left town.
Look around, You don’t run things around here no more.
Girls have moved on, boys have grown up.
Toys have been broken, shipped, sold, and stolen.
Family has packed, shipped, moved, and departed.
The town you once knew isn’t the town that you grew.
The city has grown, the buildings have expanded.
Time has developed the strange neighborhood.
Familiar, hazy, and unforgettable but unnamable faces.
Nothing is like time, constant.

Along your journey you have changed,
Along your journey you have died.
The character of individuality has become a solo follower.
Who is this man.?
The once sweet, tender, loving boy has become nothing more
Than an asshole.
Maybe he cares on the inside, and doesn’t show it on the out.
Some say he’s built a wall around his entire self, and won’t let anyone in.
Others who he calls friends don’t even notice.

He could be lost,
No he would show signs of weakness.
His confidence is too high, His pride is too deep.
Maybe He’s right,
Or maybe we’re wrong.
He could be depressed,
Possibly just alone.
Nothing to live for?
Something to live out.
Not enjoying life,
Taking it day by day.

A lot has changed since you left town.
Look around, You don’t run things around here no more.
You act like he cares.
Why does it matter if he cares?
Because someone down the long list of losses has to be one.
I would care, but what’s the point.

"You're so negative, always."

Why do you do it to yourself. Put yourself through this pain, this agony, this torture.
You don’t make the most of what you have, you make the most of what you don’t have.
You complain, you whine, you groan.
You expect someone to just come along and feel sorry for your miserable life.
You care too much about materialistic items, you care too much about things that are replaceable.
And you don’t understand why nobody cares.
“You’re so negative always,” she said.

Sometimes being you isn’t the healthiest thing.
Sometimes being you isn’t exactly what you should be.
Sometimes, being different isn’t in your life’s best interest.
Maybe the things you do are unselfish, maybe the things you do are too much.
You can care too much but you can’t care too little.
No, you can care too little and never care too much.
Whatever it is, it is what it is. Whatever it was, is no more.
Things happen for a reason that no one can explain.
People blame it on bad luck, wrong choices, and inopportune times.

Stupid. Pessimistic, Disappointment.
You are what you say you are, you do what you feel what is right.
But how can something so right be so wrong.
We never look at the rights and say, great job.
We always look at the wrongs and say, what is wrong with you Man?
Why are you so negative she said.

His fortunes misguide him. His attitude misinterprets his intentions.
His healthy life is a dangerous lifestyle.
Always doing the right thing results in being right for everyone else except for himself.
Always being the bigger man only to finish smaller than everyone else.
Always taking care of those around him, never has anyone taken care of him.
Always being the nice guy, always finishing last.
Hate the man because he is always right.
Hate the man because he bases things on fact and not fiction.
Hate the man because every person needs someone to take the fall.
Hate the man because in the end, he will be the last man standing.
Why are you so negative she said, why are you so negative.

People blame it on bad luck, wrong choices, and inopportune times.
Whatever the case, that's how his life has become.
Blame the man because that’s all he knows, That’s all he’s got.
Why are you so negative she said, why are you so negative.

I never saw this one comin'

Rightaways, Straightaways, Whatever the day, you’re gone today.
I should’ve seen this one comin baby girl.
I think about it all the time, I think about you all the time.
It was my fault, I never saw it coming.
I’m better then that, I’m better then that. You know that.
But that doesn’t matter, you’re gone.
You’ll never know. Only I live in regret.
You’re gone and I am without.
Every girl I see reminds me of you, but none of them are you.
I should’ve done something, I should’ve done something different.
How I am still here I have no clue, but everyday I wish it was me and you.
Instead it was you, and not me. 
Somehow, someway, You saved my life.
Rightaways, Straightaways, You’re gone everyday.
Til the day I see you again, till the day we meet again,
You are in my heart, you are in my soul
Through thick and thin, blood and water,
I’ll always cherish those memories, and I’ll never forget your sacrifice.
I never saw this one comin babe, I never saw this one coming.