She likes difficult, not easy.
She says she wants the nice guy, but she’s attracted to the douche bags.
She says she wants someone reliable and stable, but only hopes on some a Holes.
She complains daily about the attention she doesn’t get and forgets about the one who is listening.
She watches some chick flick and cries because that’s never happened to her before, little does she know that us nice guys are the ones who have the brilliant plans.
She always wants to fall deeply for the bad guy, but bad guys can’t catch.
She tries for some guy who COULD sweep her off her feet, not for the one who WILL sweep her off her feet.
She will wait for that one Guy to NOT come around, while we fly circles holding up our own emotions.
She says she can't find the good ones.  Clearly, she’s never looked our way.
She believes the bigger the catch the bigger the love, Mama always said it were the smaller things that make the big moments.
She puts her faith in a bad Guy turning good, but never tries the good Guy who never goes bad. 
She will talk to her girl friends about how hot some dude is, but she’ll never speak of how sweet he's not.
She will wait , hope, and day dream about the ass guy who doesn’t makes the first move, while we make moves to her everyday.
She texts the guy who’s not interested every five minutes, but won’t respond to the one who actually sees her for more than a piece of ass.
She likes the ones who stand out, but not the ones that stand in.
She lives for the parties and the attention, and denies the steady and healthy.
She chases around for the guy who keeps multiple women chasing, but she’ll deny the one who chases her.

More often or not,

The man you describe is the one you’re not chasing.
The man who’s traits you desire, are often filled by the nice guy.
We listen to every word, and fit most requirements to a T.
Whatever we lack, we make up with our other talents you ignore.
The man in the movies learned those moves from us.
The difference between a dog like guy and a nice guy is, we have plans and we don’t leave when the times are rough.
We also don’t leave in the morning.
We know you for you because we listen.  We don’t look just at what you wear or listen to what you’re doing, we listen to what you desire, what you like, and what your favorite things are.  And we REMEMBER.
Every little thing that you do, we note, because to us it matters.  To someone else, it’s just another “girl.”
We don’t worry about how you look without makeup, we worry about how you look with make up. JK We don’t worry at all about how you look, we worry about your contentment.
We worry about how to make things better for your life, not ours.
We will walk those thousand miles to prove our worth.
We will drive around town looking for the only size shoes you want.

We are the ones

Who take you to dinner just because, treat you well because we respect you, and buy you gifts because your happiness is priceless.
Who drop what we’re doing to help you because you deserve better.
Who open the doors because we want to, not because we have to.
Who slipped the romantic ideas into the movies.
Who get the bigger picture in life, not the one night stands.
Who will listen to you while you speak about your current abuser, Ex Boyfriends, and random dudes who get at you.
Who will admit our mistakes and work our way back not to impress you but because we want to.
Who always believe in what you do.
Who knows how to keep a spark on fire.
That buy too many materialistic items just to catch your attention.
Who think you’re going to finally realize we exist.
Who don’t make moves because we fear rejection and loss of friendship.
Who are unselfish, allowing you to experience whatever thrill it is you like to experience.
Who will always be there in the end, whether times are rough, happy, sad, or incomplete.
Who believe you’ll change your heart.

You’re in love with us, you just don’t know it yet.
The concept of love exists.  Whether you’re a pessimist or optimist, the honest, true, character of a person is out there.  Not everyone has the characteristics we adore, not everyone can be the ideal person.  The only thing we as individuals can do, and will do, is be our moral, honest, person.  The only thing we can do is be ourselves, unselfish, patient, and righteous.  We’ve seen these stories and examples of love, and question whether or not it is true love.  And the answer is yes, it is there.  But it takes dedication, work, and morality.  It takes character and courtesy, time and commitment, sacrifice and dedication, pain and suffering.
Be cautious of the people around you.  They know what kind of person you are and what kind of things you’ll do for them.  They’ll take advantage of your every positive aspect they can’t find in their surrounding peers, and use you like food stamps.  The idea of love is so far beyond measures that words can not explain even if it were written in a book.  Love is there because with love are dedicated people who are willing to risk their every moment and action to achieve such a feeling.  And even though we cannot explain these feelings and desires, we know it’s there because some way some how, we’ve experienced true happiness.  Whether it was with our families, our friends, or our toys, we have experienced the true meaning of love.
If you’re strung out on a person who’s not willing to give you that time, dedication, sacrifice, and thousands of other things you desire, then you need to ask yourself, “Is this person really for me.”  The ones you seek to be your significant are either playing games with you or don’t see you the same way.  Yes, maybe they’ll see you in the same way.  Maybe they did.  But the timing is most important in love.  You’ve heard it all before, “I love you buy I’m not in love with you.”  And if you come to the conclusion that you still want to be there for them because you know you are the best choice for them, than stay.  Stay because that is what love takes.

To Be Continued.

 There is one person in our lives who has the power to take our hearts to a new level.  One day, the love of our life will walk in our lives.   And when this person walks in your life, they just sweep you by storm.  All of the walls to your broken heart are torn down.  All of the rules you put in place to protect yourself are nullified.  You may have known this person your whole life or you may have known them for a second. Whether it’s a surprise or expected, they are the ones you’ve waited for your whole life.  Their cute smile when you look at them, the smirks or gestures you make when they do something funny or stupid, and their adorable laughter when you do the weirdest things.  The world may be laughing at you, but they are laughing with you.  Nobody in the world can fulfill their voice, their look, or their every move.  Anyone can imitate but never duplicate.  Only you know who the originator and developer is, only you know who combines every little act to make them your unique love.  One of a Kind.

Before them, life was just a haze.  You wouldn’t care for much on your daily routine.  Life was bittersweet, without a drive, without a purpose.  You were usually indecisive but friendly, courteous but scared, and shallow but sweet.  The rainbow was missing some colors, the tea was missing some sugar.  Bittersweet.  You were missing the life without the love. You never liked change before, but before, they were never in your life.

When you have them by your side, through thick and thin, great times and bad, you squeeze them cause you never want to let go.  You give up your entire life just to be next to them, through richer or poorer. No money can put a price on this love.  No person can fill the shoes that they have.  No one can love like their heart can because their heart is simply too big And even though you waited your entire life for this person, you realize everyday, the time was worth the wait.  Embarrassment is never in the dictionary when you two are together.  Dance like nobody is watching.  No road is too short or too rough, no secrets or mixed feelings are never too complicated or too wrong.  You are the world.

They are never too tough or too hard on you.  You are purely your true and honest self and they love you for it.  There’s no need to hide anything because they simply see the brightest light you have to shine.  They never bring you down because you are perfect in their eyes, even if you feel as if they deserve better.  They protect you with all their might, and they support you with all their will.  They are never afraid to bring you out in public or tell their friends who you are and what you mean to them.  Us against the World.

Jealousy, ambitions, deception are never valid in you because you trust them.  You love them for who they are with no games attached.  Everything you do is for them because you know the gesture is mutual.  Every time your phone rings or a text message is received, you look at your phone with the sense that it’s them.  And with no disappointed, it is.  Either them telling you to have a good day or “I’ll see you when you’re done,” gives you the excitement with the warm fuzzy feeling inside, the smile on the outside, and the knowledge that today will be a great day.  Today will be a great day because the best part of the day has yet to come.  The best part of my day, at the end of the day, you will be together.  It is moments like these you remember the most, it is these moments that will always take our feelings to the next level. 

When something great happens, you can’t wait to share it with them.  Even if they don’t see things the same way, they’ll smile because they know it’s what you enjoy.  During the rough times, you’re not afraid to tell them they’re wrong because you love them any way with whatever they do.  And though you may advise them differently with life’s many obstacles, you know your love for them will never change. You share secrets to each other because they’re your other half, and who else would be better to share things with than them.  Your understanding and feeling for one another are equally developed and parallel with the lifestyle you live.  Your disagreements are never more than disagreements. If the time calls for a shoulder, they are there to lean on.  Laughing or crying, they are never embarrassed to laugh or cry with you.  Thick and thin. Sickness and in health, they are caring for you with whatever disease you have.  Risking their own job and their health to ensure that you are the most comfortable sick person.

A Whole New World.  Foods you thought you’d never try, you like.  News that never interested or pertained to you before, now interest you more than ever now that they talk about it.  The things you thought you never do or like becomes fascinating because they introduced you to their world.    Every action you make or take, you think beforehand and contemplate each and every single time, “What would they think?  What would they do?”  Better yet, most of the time you think, “Will they do this with me?”  9 times out of 10 the answer is yes, regardless of how they feel about the matter.

My other half. It’s more than friend, it’s family.  They are your truest and honest best friend, they are your heart’s keeper.  They take away the IN of complete.  They add the Me to Aweso. They are the cement in your walls, they are the legs where you stand.   The pain you had is no more.  The love you never knew is there. Hold on tight, Hold on tight.

It’s just you and me, off into the sunset

bright Lights iLLumination

An Honest Character.

Once you get there, it's easy to understand.
We can all get there, The point is to get there.
It's pure but never simple.
The first reaction is hatred.
Not all men accept it, only those who seek it.
You can bend it, you can Twist it.
Manipulate, Connive, Abuse or Misuse it.
You can gossip rumors,
You can dump layers of garbage on top.
Spread it through the grapevine,
Sing to the clouds.
But until you find it, you will be lost.
You'll never find yourself until you face it.
It should be your ears open and not your mouth.
Because you never let your ears hear it.
Everything will be not the honesty.
Malice may attack it
Ignorance may deride it
But in the end, there it is.
Sooner or later, it will be found out.
It is up to you to face it.
No matter how hard you try to ignore it or deny it, eventually the lies fall away. 
Whether you like it or not,
The truth is incontrovertible.
And when you have the truth,
 Truth hurts.
 And in the end, even God can't change the truth.

A person's Drive to succeed is also his obsession.

All it takes is a spark. 
One spark makes something happen.
An idea, a spark of light, a goal in our heads.
Us as individuals have thousands of sparks within ourselves like the stars among the  sky.
Sparks to obtain, Spark to fight, , Sparks to become.
For what we believe, for what we want, for what we need.
To better living conditions, to better others, to better ourselves.
Nobody cares to what we deserve, Nobody believes on what we can achieve.
Doubtful, unfaithful, discouraging, impossible, waste of time.
Fuel my fire. Spark my flame. And there will be more then just. pain.
There is fire within us that will overcome the biggest obstacle.
No water can put this challenge fire out.
One can of gasoline and one simple idea drives our little spark into a water-proof fire.
Never forget those who’ve helped you fuel your fire,
Never forget those who’ve tried to put your fire out
Pyromaniacs or Firefighters, pick your team
Never get caught up in the smoke, distracting you from your mission
A person’s drive to succeed is also his obsession
The flame of your drive is the flame of your obsession
With drive and obsession there needs to be control
A balance between love and desire
Never let your taste of success supersede the gasoline
Discipline me with violence, blend me with peace
Combine me with hate and I can’t face defeat
Don’t let all the oxygen consume my fire
Don’t let all the firefighters destroy my flame
Never Forget,
With every fire something gets burnt, With every fire someone Burns.

I was Born a Christian

Oh my Christian!

I can’t believe I forgot about my long lost Christian Family!  I feel terrible so this post is going to them.  All of them! All 302 of them.   I might be a little off on that, but it’s probably around there. Haha

Anyways, this past summer on my trip to South Korea with fellow student Peace Makers, I met the Christian family from Utah.  I met Brittney and Shaun Christian.  These two were the coolest kids in the entire program besides me and my family.  Haha JK, We were all pretty cool kids.  But Shaun and Brittney stood out the most, in a good way. The first time I saw Brittney and Shaun, they were sitting together on the bus on the trip into Seoul.  Brittney said to me, “Do you want to take a picture out of this window?”  I replied, “No,” and that was it. 

For the first couple of days, I was a quiet fella just mindin’ his own business.   It wasn’t until the night we had free time to eat wherever we wanted.  It was my roomie, Andrew, Jessica, Ryan, Shaun, and Brittney.  We walked looking for American food, darn white people! Haha We stumbled upon Dominoes and ordered pizza.  The time we had that night started our from then until the rest of the trip.  When we returned home, we exchanged numbers and Facebook info. 

The entire Christian family is a wonderful family.  Jessica, Ryan, and Scott are also apart of the Christian family.  Both Brittney and Shaun remained in contact the most after the trip.  Whether it was every Sunday texts or phone calls, we talked about life issues, our friendship, and the Korea Trip.  We all wished we could go back. 

At the end of October, for Shaun and my birthday, I reunited with my long last family.  I went to Utah to meet more Christians including the Ma and Pa of Brittney and Shaun.  I also met the youngest Christian of the family, Jacob.  The time was very memorable and home-feeling.  They gave my sister and I very great food and hospitality for the entire weekend.  The Christians gave us great laughs and great times. 

This post is dedicated to them because I somehow forgot to write thanks to them at the end of the New Years.  I swear I wrote something but when I was looking for it, I couldn’t find it.  But here it goes.

Brittney, you are a creeper!  You hecka took pictures of me from afar when we didn’t even meet each other!  haha. I’m glad you did though.  It is something crazy to laugh about.  We had our great times in South Korea and Utah.  I’m glad we kept in touch all this time.  I miss you so much!   When I was lonely or feeling depressed you were always there to encourage me  on better things.  You are a very sweet and kind person on a different level than the rest of the world.   You put everyone else first before yourself, which is a very admirable trait.  We have lots of similarities on different things.  But we also have very many differences we argue about, which makes our conversations fun.  I’m so glad we continue to talk until today!

Shaun, oh Shaun.  You are a funny kid.  I still can’t believe your 19! I thought you were like, 20 at least.  You are very mature for your age…Sometimes.. haha I’m glad that you and I have kept our talks too.  You are a very cool guy who follows your heart.  Without our talks or times, things could’ve got very boring with Brittney…jk. But seriously, we had some good talks as well.. Mostly on Taylor Swift and other women.. Or your 2 year thing =/  I’m so happy you’re finally getting to do your thing after 18 years of waiting.  I know you’re going to do great.  Your presence will impact hundreds of people down south.  We will continue to talk throughout our lives as well, even if I have to write you LETTERS!

Jacob.  Jacob, Jacob Jacob.  Where do I start with you kid.?  How about WILLIAMS! Hahahaha.  Williams, my oh my how that guy burned you so MANY times.  I hope you’ve been practicing. Haha.  Anyways, I’m sad that you weren’t able to attend the South Korea Trip.  Especially since your cousin, Ryan was able to.  Well I guess he was a little older.  But then again, it was so nice to meet you when I came to Utah.  You are a very smart kid when it comes to life.  Maybe that’s how you Christians are… Anywho, I know you are in good hands following your entire family’s footsteps.  They are great people and thus believe, their knowledge supersedes whatever I have taught you.  Haha, although that night by the campfire was nice to read to you kids.  I will continue to wait for your texts.. You kind of died off with those =[  Anyways good luck with school man!

You all have influenced my life so much.  You guys are amazing people.  All of you Christians!  I hope one day to return to Utah to visit everyone.  I hope we all remain in contact as well.  You guys have helped me a lot in the last year.  If there's anything I can do that is in my powers, please let me know!  Love you all! Happy New Years!

kal el.

You dont know who you are anymore,
You search for some part of your soul
But you dont find anything.
You dont find anything worth saving.

You move for a change,
Something better than what you had.
You left loved ones behind
To search for something more in life.
For a second you see a glimpse of
What you had
And what you could become.
For a split second you see that it is all up to you.

The ones you called friends dont exist anymore.
Your warm heart that once used to be,
Crushed.
You leave your friends, you leave your family
In search of the purpose of your existence.
The alley you are standing in is dark as the sun.

You'll forever wait for their phone call.
You'll drive around hoping for a text.
You'll wait til forever until they come around.
And they'll keep you there until they need you.

You detach yourself from everything that you used to know
You eliminate everything that knows you.
A change different from moving.
You are alone and there is no one to take notice.
People you cared for spread lies to create enemies.
Enemies infiltrate your army and turn them against you.

There is no more balance with people.
There is nothing to take your side.
Whats done is done.
Its you against the world.
Like superman saving the human race.
Trust no one with your secret.
Whatever you had are memories.
You must become whatever your destiny is,
Alone.

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New Years 2010

 

2010 was a good year. Emotional, challenging, different, and fun.  There was tons of schools (70 something hours since last winter) and little time to play. Just Kidding.  Weekends were play days and Weekdays were work days.  I spent a majority of my year in Maryland and Washington D.C for school.  When I wasn't in school (like 4-5 weeks out of the whole year), I was vacationing the globe or visiting home.  I've been fortunate to travel to places like South Korea, New York, Florida, Denver, and Salt Lake City.  Whether it was with family or friends, the times will all be remembered.

I'd like to shout out some people's names who are in the 2010 memory.
Bull, bff like a brother, you've been there through the roughest times in my life.  Whether it was girl problems or guy talk, you and I always had our fun and memorable moments.  Even though it was 3000 miles away, we still had our moments through the phone.  You mean the most to me and have helped me grow throughout the last 7 years.  We be BFF forever blood!

Tim and Matt, JR and Michelle you cousins you.  Man without you guys I wouldn't have a life in Maryland.  Even though our life was mainly zombie hunting, 2 Am McDonalds, or Starcraft killin, we had our fun moments.  You eased the move a lot better.  The lonely school days I had you both cured with the weekend fun.  We shopped and ate explicitly.  I hope I influenced you guys as much as you both have influenced me.  It was a great year living back east as we all got closer.  You guys helped the times roll by quickly.  You all helped me out a lot with my school stuff too.  I wouldn't have graduated from Maryland without you guys.

Jason Singh ISS Over the years we go in and out of communication.  We've always been friends but I think this last year we spent a lot more time talking to each other becoming even closer.  I'm glad that we've kept in contact over the last 10 years.  I still remember it was you and me in 8th grade and then 12th.. Man how time flies.  I'm so proud of you and all your accomplishments.  You are sincerely a good honest guy who reminds me of Clark Kent.  I'm glad you are working on your Law degree while maintaining love with your love sport and great girlfriend.   You have always been an influence and motivator.  It's also living proof that the good, nice guy gets the hot girl.

Bday aka Roach, Thanks for taking all those CJ classes with me man.  You and I had some great, fun, times at Chipotle before and after classes.  Whether we were talking girls or school work, you made it fun.  Thanks for all the help with school too! I'm proud you finally got your dream job as a police officer in Maryland.  I only wish you the best cleaning up the streets.  Keep it Safe and Keep in touch.  Congratulations on your acceptance to the academy.  Maybe I'll join you next year!

Alvinski Thanks for all your help man.  Honestly, I had the best times in Maryland with you bro.  We had our great talks about sports, girls, and photoshop.  You introduced me to Raven and helped me with Indie and Niner.  Even though things didn't work out to plan, it was still nice to have you around just to talk about it.   I appreciate all you have done for me.  It's lame that I only met you the last semester of my school life.  But from the times we had, it was great and memorable.  You are a very bright, funny guy.  We'll remain in touch for years to come.  Good luck with finishing your degree...!

Maria aka princess girl.  And no I don't mean that in a bad way.  Thanks for all you've done in the last month or so of school.  It was great getting to meet a new person in Maryland.  Things weren't always how they felt and most things weren't as serious as they seemed.  Promise, I never meant to hurt you in some asshole way.  Even after knowing you a month, it seemed like years.  You make me feel accomplished by just being honest and opinionated.  You reading my blogs were inspirational.  I hope you enjoy them as I enjoy your company.  I hope by me moving home doesn't change things, but I understand if they do.  You made studying and chillin fun.  You and K say were reasons enough to attend Judicial Process.  Sorry for any mishap I may have caused, they were never my intentions.
Keep up the multi-cultural lifestyle.  Stay sweet and caring and not too conniving.

K say.  What do I say.  You are a great person..Smart too. Too bad I didn't meet you or Maria earlier, it would've made school a lot more fun.  Even though you both are racist jokesters, it was fun getting to know you.  I know one day you will be happy with Chadmonkey.  Props to him for serving our country.  I'll have to take the serving the country part into consideration, now that I am graduated.  I'll be sure to drop a line whenever I come to MD.  You better do the same when you come to Cali.  I'll have to introduce you to the IN n Out Burger. 

Coach J Chuk aka Shotyme Apparel.  Thanks for those talks from 3000 miles away man.  You are a big part of why I write and why I innovate.  I know some times I'm very negative or pessimistic.  But sometimes, it's just honesty.  I know and you know, I'm very different when it comes to the typical dude.  I have listened to all of your advice and hope I have returned a little bit to you.  Keep up the good work with the clothing line and thanks for all the free shirts.  I will wear them everywhere whenever I can.

Becky Boo and Moo. You guys helped me through a lot once again in 2010.  When times were rough, it was always nice to call you guys to just talk.   You guys have been as much as an influence as I have been to you.  You guys might not know it or believe it since you both are so young, but you both give me a lot of motivation to keep going and try harder.  I try to be the best role model and brother I can be and hope to have provided you with inspiration, advice, and influence as much as I can.  You guys have both grown a lot over the last couple of years.  I hope you make all the right choices in the future.  And if you don't, know that I will always be here, even if I'm  not in town.  
Without you handful of people, Life would've been much more difficult. Even though there were the lonely times, you guys helped me through most of it.  It was very good to make better friendships.  We withstood the difficulties and overcame the challenges.  Without you all, it would've been so much tougher.  I hope you the best for 2011 and hopefully, we all will remain in contact.

My family members.   I would not be anywhere near where I am if it weren't you all.  I may seem unappreciated or unhappy at times.  But know that you guys are the reason I'm alive today.  And everything you've done will never ever be replaced.  I'm grateful for each and everyone of you.  It was all great times this past year.  I've grown so much and appreciate you so much more.  It was fun living with all of you guys!
 
I also appreciate Bear, Lil one, J G35, Eddie, Turbizzle, Richie, Tubby, Yum, David and Kevin, Fuki, Boo, and Skip for all being in my life.  Whether it was texting or hanging out, you all have been honest friends.  I am thankful for the great times in 2010 and hope for an even better future.  If I forgot anyone, know that I didn't to do it intentionally.

2010 was filled with great music especially by Hans Zimmer, Nicki Minaj, Baby Yu, Kanye West, and Bruno Mars.  Sports were awesome with D Wade, Patrick Willis, and Steph Curry.  The Economy started picking up after a rough beginning.  And my family is all kickin and healthy.  

Happy New Years.  May 2011 bring great prosperity and healthy lives.  I hope the drama will be limited, the loneliness will be scarce, and the great memories will be limitless.   May we all chase our dreams, goals, and aspirations.  Motivate and Innovate.  Bright Lights.

Resolutions.

No cussing
Limited Soda.
Write at least 4 blogs a month (Funny, December 2010 I wrote like 11. That's a career high!)

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