it hasn't hit me yet.

 

I fed exed my love so she could sign for my

Hearts crush, Hearts aches,

Hearts bleed. Hearts break.

Too much agony, too much pain.

Too much trauma. Too much came.

Too much to take. Too much has bled.

Permanent scars. Stained for life. Mustang Red.

It’s bare. It’s broken. It’s fallen. All apart.

No circulation. No beat. No pump. No heart.

Instead, a loop. A revolution. A coil. A ring

A circle, ongoing. Never ending. Forever lasting.

There’s no straight. There is no line.

No one’s gonna break it this time.

That’s fictitious, that’s fraudulent, that’s a lie.

Heart replacement, Circle good-bye.

It came. It saw. Didn’t see this one come.

It’s already done. It’s already dead. It’s already gone.

Destroyed, collapsed, crippled and crumbled.

Demolished, devoured, heart or circle, it’s shattered.

It was mine as it was yours. But it was more yours than ever mine.

Without notice. Without request. I gave my all. I gave my best.

One man’s trash was my treasure chest.

She knew. She misinterpreted. She misunderstood.

I succeeded. I accomplished. I achieved.

She failed. She neglected. She’s gone for good.

Bad luck.  Wrong timing. Her loss, yet my grieve.

Heart or circle. It’s crushed. It’s apart.

You call it what you want it. But

I fed exed my love so she could sign for my …

First Loves Part 1

First loves. It’s the hardest ones to leave.
It’s the longest time we’ll ever grieve,
It takes the longest time for it to leave.
Your mind can move on, but it’s the heart that stops you.
It’s playing you for a fool, whatever you do.
They will always be the number 1, the Boo.
The toxicity, filling up your heart. the blackness
Like cigs fill up the lungs, create a room of darkness
There’s nothing to fill this void. Just so heartless.
And now it’s driving you crazy.
You were thinking maybe, just maybe
That day will come where she’ll be your lady, she’ll be your baby.
But that once more isn’t likely, it’s more unlikely
And every time we try, it’s not to your liking.
It’s just fighting and crying.
It’s the weeping without the sleeping.
Or the make up love. No kisses. No hugs.
How did it come to this?

The first love huh. The first love.
It’s the answer you chose, the letter E. all the above.
And she says it’s over. It’s done. It’s enough.
You don’t want to give up, but you have to respect her choice.
No, forget that choice, it’s our choice.
You say your opinion, She’s gonna hear your voice.
This isn’t over. Just another bump in the road.
Just another problem that adds to the total workload
But that’s what we do. That’s who we are. This is the relationship code.

But what if it is done?
You have lost. She has won.
The end has begun.
The end of the first.
The end is the worst.
You can’t take it. But you must live it.
This is seriously some bullshit.
Your truth. Your baby love. Your boo.
Loving her is the game you’ll always lose.
You got the brown eyed blues.
You can’t stand this. You can’t live without her.
But it’s something you gotta do.

Ice like the Rocky Mountains.

you are the darkest angel, yet you are still an angel.
that smile is contagious, it is filled with poison.
yet i have fallen for it, like a trapped bird
one who has broken their wings for you. and there is no notice.
i have fallen off ledges, to try and conquer your mountain,
but you only see the top of that mountain.
i don't exist in your world, yet you are mine.
i'm just a viewer on a plane that looks down at world you live in.
somethin from afar, somethin that when you look up, you can't see.
yes. i am irrate, irregular, irritated yet invisible and irrelevant.

you are on the upper half of the lower half. which makes you
the best of the worst , the worst of the best.
but that doesn't matter to me. it never did.
you shot me down without giving me a chance.
blamed me for your bad luck, for something i didn't even do.
but you know, that's fine. because you need that fall guy
ill be that guy. because you'll never be that girl that's mine.
you ignore that i love you. so i'll ignore being in love with you.
it's eating me alive. and i can't stop it you know.
it's like termites eating the wood under the house.
you know it s there, yet you can't stop it. there's nothing i can do.
but there's something you won't do.

my heart is a desert. red. screamin. hot. on fire.
and you have the water. the ice. the cold. freeze.
everybody wants you. and i mean everybody.
and i . i don't even need you.
you're just there. there stuck in mind all day
and nothing i can say or do to change any of that.
don't you think i want you gone?
i want you gone
that way i won't have to dream no more.
that way i don't have nightmares no more.
it always ends the same way.
i fall. you rise.
you love. i die.

More Sports!

"Let's go Red Socks Lets go."

I heard the second home to the Boston Redsocks was in Baltimore. I didn't believe it. I should've though, cause I finally experienced it. The Orioles were hosting the Redsocks, and you bet, I was there. Red and Blue shirts filled the stands, maybe 5 for every single black or orange shirt for the Orioles. That was only the beginning. During the game, with every strike out from Lester, or every hit by a Sock, came clapping and cheers. When the baseball themes came on, guess what you heard. "Let's go RedSocks lets go!" And when we sang the old Baseball theme song from Jack Norworth in the middle of the 7th, "Take me out to the Ball Game," guess what you heard at the Camden Yards. "Let me root, root, root for the RedSocks."So I guess the media was right, there is another Fenway Park, not in Boston. My, how that would make the Orioles feel bad. Give these guys a break, they have the worst record in their Division, and their home isn't exactly home when hosting the Redsocks. The second game of the series on Saturday, September 19th, was probably the best out of the three. The First game of the series, the Redsocks beat the Orioles 3-1. And the last game, The Redsocks led 7-0 before finishing 9-5.

The second game however was closer...well at least the first 6 innings. Lester surrendered a couple home runs, making the game a tight one. The Orioles actually led 1-0 and 3-2. But that would be it. The RedSocks did some damage in the second inning, takinga 2-1 lead. After trailing 3-2, the 6th inning is where the Orioles allowed two consecutive home runs. My were the Red Socks a sight to see. It's amazed me the most how a single bad night of personal problems, could lead to such an amazing experienced event. On top of the good game, the tickets I had were in the second level behind third base, which isn't too bad for a late reservation seating. And on top of the top of that, The section was "All you can eat" the whole game. Yes. Free hot dogs, popcorn, soda, peanuts, nachos, and ice cream sandwiches. All in all, the game was well worth the 55 bucks and drive.


Could you believe the 49ers are 2-0? Yeah, I wanted them to make it. But they actually are. They defeated the 2008 Western NFC Champions and runner up Superbowl players. But here the All-Run, no Gun, 49er's beat them, fair and square, 20-16 on their first season game. I was lucky enough to see the final 5 minutes thanks to Fox and the late - game running. If it weren't that, I'd probably only read the highlights. The second game, which was yesterday, was even better. I wasn't lucky this time, but I did see the highlights thanks to NFL.Com. And I was able to see Frank Gore for two 79+ runs against the Seattle Seahawks. I guess they were trying to make up for first game's rushing stats. Frank Gore was actually in the Washington Post as this weeks best performance. So apparently, San Francisco is back on the map (for now) at 2-0, where they will next face Brett Favre and the Vikings. I think this game will be a real test, as we'll be able to see where they stand...I knew this way before, but man I love Patrick Willis and the defense.

On more NFL updates, the Jets backed up their talk against Tom Brady aka MVP, and the Patriots. Unfortunately for my Boy Brady, he suffered his first loss since 2007... or was it 6? I dont' remember exactly. And the "local teams" won as well. The Redskins (not a huge fan) won 9-7 against the Rams, and the Ravens (bigger fan) beat out San Diego. The Bills won with T.O (amazing), and the Cowboys lost their Stadium opener on a last second Field goal by the Giants. The Vikings won with A.P rushing less than 100 yards...Saints scored 40+ points again to start 2-0. Jay Cutler got out of his funk, and helped the Bears win this weekend. Surprising losses: The Pats, The Steelers, The Cowboys, and the Titans (2-0).

my Life.

The Love of My Life.

As the time passes, I am riding.

It is not my two door, four wheel, turbo charged tC.

But faster.

I am riding the two wheeler, the Raven, the Yamaha, the R6.

Plug in my iPod, jam some Kanye, Jay, Hans Zimmer, and Fourplay.

I’m jammin’, jammin’ down the Freeway.

I pass the cars and the trucks, one by one.

I pass the trees, the grass, the mountains, the oceans.

But I never pass the beloved Sun.

From the Bay to La, Sactown to Monterey. California here I am.

I am on the way to see my friends, I am on the way to see my family.

This is the journey, the journey that’ll never end.

This is my journey, the journey that I love.

My love, my life, your entertainment.

Love is supreme. And I am riding.