Parenting

Why good parents are good parents.

Raising a child is not supposed to be easy. It should be anything but simple or smooth. Yet we have this mindset that bringing a child into this place and raising one is a piece of cake.  Did you know the average American price for raising a baby to the age of 18 without putting them through college is over 180,000 dollars.? Talk about the price and it's already a deterrent. And that's leaving at 18.

As a child with or without our own child, we only see the selfish parts of our lives. We think we are the world who they should revolve their lives around because we complete their life. They brought us into the world, ergo they should give us what we need and want, right? Wrong.
There is no common law that parents or guardians have to raise their child in excess ways. All that requires parents to be parents is food, clothing, shelter, and school (didn't always have to be like that). There's no statements saying we need to put our kids through special after school programs or extracurricular activities.

We have all heard this before but our lives can be so much worse. We could be homeless, living on the street unknowing where our next meal will come from. We can be living in a house with cold winters and hot summers (try Maryland) without the luxury of air conditioning or heat. Hell, we could be living in an apartment with one bedroom and 7 house members. But chances are, we aren't. At the worst, we are sharing a bedroom with our siblings, not our family.

Yet, because it's not in our own personal lives, we assume and take for granted that our lives are rough.  Grow up, all of our lives are tough. You just think the world revolves around you, still. Everybody's life has challenges, but it's how you overcome those challenges that make your life better. Our parents had the same challenges plus your challenges, crying, and whining.

We can do things we want because we are grown adults. But because we are grown adults, we must. Must make it appoint to sacrifice ourselves for the better of others, not just you.  Like our parents did for us, we must sacrifice our needs and wants for others. If your parents didn't teach you, let me.

Your parents are the backbone of your lives. Whether your 2 or 60, your parents are the most important people to you in the world. They brought you into this world, planned or accident. You are their child, genes, and blood. You are their creation, who passed down from their parents, their knowledge.

And when they brought you into this world, they gave you everything they had. Their love, their support, and their lives. They taught you everything they knew. They produced guidelines, rules, and curfew. They provided food, transportation, time, money and shelter to support necessities and some activities you enjoyed. They took you to ball games, movie theaters, museums, and vacations to show you the world and entertain your intrigued mind. They disciplined you when you were bad or when you needed it. They talked to you when you needed advice or just a friend. And most importunity, they were there when you least expected them to be.

Child and parent relationships aren't always black and white. There have been adoptions, deaths, drug influenced, and bad bad cases between the two. And of course there are always exceptions to whatever rule. Yet what it comes down to is the acknowledgement that your parents tried. They tried to with the best intentions and abilities. The end result might not be the greatest or prettiest. But I can guarantee you the end result will always be you. They are the main thing that shaped you. They are the main thing that define you, I promise you that.

Whether it was good or bad, it's never too late to make it better. In any case, there's always room in your heart for blood. There is always room to reconcile, thank, apologize, and love. We each only get two. Adopted also have two, maybe even four.

Understand that nobody is perfect, yet they tried their best to be. Either that, or role models for your best interest. Please realize that twenty or thirty years ago, they were just like you, finding it hard to blend into the world. Those years ago, they were you unknowingly with decisions to make and sacrifice.

Be thankful. Appreciate and love. Some of us don't ever get to meet our parents. Some of us were born without knowing our biological parents. Some of us were born and raised in foster care homes. That might make us sour to our biological parents, but understand and try to accept, that maybe it was for the better of our own life. Things happen for a reason, religiously or not. And in the end, we can't change other peoples decisions or choices. We can only accept our own.

Your own choices should be to treat everyone with respect, especially our parents. They have spent countless hours of time assisting and raising you to become the person you are. Let them know you appreciate them for doing what they did. We might not always agree with them, but know they did it for the best intentions. Know that they worked hard for the money they earned to supply you with adequate needs and sometimes extra desires. Know that they worked 40 hours plus a week to raise you in a nice household, and 160 hours to care for you. You and your siblings and pets. Know that they rather have you than a sports car or boat. Know that they rather watch you play or participate in activities you liked versus hanging out with their friends. Know that even if things got bad or sour, deep down, they think about you. Deep down, they love you, unconditionally.