BS

Techno >_9

2012-02-10T20:29:00.000-05:00

There's something terribly wrong with the way the world works. I don't mean to be a pessimistic fool, but there's something we all worry about too much. I guess it is common these days to get lost in the translation of things just because the ability of technology exists. Remember twenty years ago when things like iPods and cell phones didn't exist. How to meet up people, you would have to call their house phones? In order to listen to music you had CD players or Walkman's.
And now, since the technology boom, we all are able to have multiple sources to play music, e-mail, text, and call individuals. Is it more convenient? Of course, who would disagree. Do we all need a little help some times? Yes, we do. But there needs to be a fine line between using the technology for our benefit, and overusing it for the attention. Although this whole paper is hypocritical (it's on this blog, a media outlet), the use of technology has blown dramatically out of proportion.
It's simply used too much. And by too much, it usually means for attention. Twitter, a status update of your mood, your thoughts, and your feelings. What's cool about it is other people can read your exact feeling and any given moment. What's not so cool, telling the whole world of contacts you have, even the ones you don't talk. Same thing with status's on Facebook. You can check in your exact location and your every step..Why? I guess documentation you were there. But if you think about it, you make it easier for stalkers to stalk you. Haha.
You know what I can't stand...And this may be hypocritical cause I do it all the time in class. Burying yourself in your cell phone to look at the latest clothing, technology, and news. Educational, yes it is. But seriously, talk to the people you are around rather than text them. What happened to the good ol' phone conversations with the power of the voice and emotion. Seriously, I've seen too many times, texting and tweeting give others the wrong idea. The context of a text is looked way too deeply or most likely taken the wrong way. I guess it helps if you want to flirt...But other then that, it's really destructing to our personalities.
I guess what I'm trying to say is..Even though we have all this technology at our disposal..Don't forget where you came from. It's okay to write hand written letters and send them via postage. Sure, it'll cost you a dollar..But you know what, it's more personal. I'd honestly rather receive a letter in the mail than a text message or a tweet. It's more meaningful and it's more heart-warming. Seriously, though...text messages are like group texts. You never know if the WSUP or Hii is really to you or some other fool. I'd add to this but it's time to stop writing...I haven't written in this blog thing for a while, so maybe i'll add more later.. But yeah, just remember what life was BEFORE the cell phone.

A little Late neverr hurts January!

2012-02-08T21:39:00.001-05:00

Last months Thoughts of January 2012

Time flies faster with every year that you grow.
Fantasy NBA is kind of Effed because of the shortened season.
Fantasy NBA is effed cause I drafted Brooke Lopez and he's injured.
Vernon Davis was a beast against the Saints and Giants.
49ers back their entire team up.
School is back in session.
Girls are still Girls.

Music of the Month:

Tim Mcgraw's new album.
Motto. Drake and Weezy.
Breaks my Heart. Monica.
Make me Proud. Drake ft Nicki Minaj!

Tweets/Quotes of the month

"The older I get the more I have to leave behind, that's life."
"Come here, come here you little shit."
"You're Always so negative, 'she said."
"Never say I can, it only leaves doubt. Always say I believe, then there's only room for success."
"You can't change everything in one night, but one night can change everything."
"So I sit here divided, talking to myself. Was it something I did, was there somebody else."

Rule of the Month

#12 Never take anything for granted. Bitch!

Goals of the Month:

__ Stay ahead of the game.

__ Study for the GMAT

__ Find a job.

__ Make the ones close, happy =]

PAtrick Willis

2012-01-20T15:05:00.001-05:00

ORDER a SHIRT today and You'll have it by THIS weekend ...Unless you're not from CA. haha

2012-01-13T19:31:00.000-05:00

I never wanna wake up.

2012-01-03T05:42:00.001-05:00

Tonight, the bath tub had a seat occupied for only one.
The circle feels up only to roll down from my cheek,
Just as the water washes away all from sin.
With only one thought on thy face, I am reminded of what was once mine for the taking.
You've been on my mind.

Whatever is written in the history books, whatever happened once before,
Is not a living field of sorrow and grief,
Only a mere of attitude and belief,
The reaction to the action, the reminder of thy instinct.
I grow fonder everyday.

The water becomes colder,
The river becomes smoother,
And the rain has stopped its whining.
Because actions sometimes don't speak at all.
Just like something's are never what they seem
I lose myself In time just thinking of your face.

A Ghost whisper discreetly disguised as yours fills my soul like a simple melody.
The injured is healed by just one look of beauty and perfection.
God only knows why it's taken me so long to let my doubts go.
You're the only one that I want.

Troubled and confused,
Afraid to mess this one up
As I once did before
Poisons my every action, my every feeling.
I don't know why I'm scared, I've been hear before.
Every feeling every word, I've imagined it all.

Empty thoughts of only one,
Entire life had put into one highway,
You can't move backwards, only move forward like the constant movement of time.
And Every time it comes down to it, I only see your face.
I'll never know if I never try,
To forgive the past and simply be mine.

I move forward, driving countless miles to unknown destinations
Only to think about all the stupidity I have jeopardized
All the wrong things you made right
Except the only one to blame Is standing in the mirror.
I dare you to let me be,
Your one and only

One simple mistake, Is all it takes
To lose the one I care about, the girl I've always known.
To be on the brink of destruction,
Is just as it is to be on the line of success.
Like two free throws with the team down by one with time at nil.
Needed to prove your value to the team,
I promise I'm worth it to hold in your arms.

There's much I wanna say, yet there's only so many chances.
To prove i am the one who can walk that mile, until the end starts

Only suckas can kill a tank in one night,
Only I will live in regret
As only I will be the one who truly knows how I feel
If the chances of coincidence could speak , they spoke pretty loudly into my ears.

This isn't a dream and this isn't a mistake.
If I could prove to you how I feel, I wouldn't be here .
I don't know much. But I do know,
I really like what you've done to me, I can't really explain it, I'm just So into you.
And I'll always remember,
You couldve been anywhere in the world right then, but you decided to be there with me,
No coincidence, it was meant to be.

Only suckas can kill a tank in one night.
Only I live without
Shell.

2011 is Over!

2011-12-31T08:30:00.002-05:00

2011 Recap.

Last winter of 2010 started with me moving back to the hometown I grew up from. Although the two years spent in MD were quite loving and fun, I decided to take my talents back to Sactown. Yeah, so it might've not been the best choice or the smart choice, but that's the way it crumbles. I decided it was better to live with those that matter the most while I still can and still experience them at my side. The inner circle thing is very important, probably the most important, than money or girls or status.

With that, I looked for part time jobs in hopes to return to school. I found one at Wells Fargo and Mikuni, both jobs that were great learning experiences and diverse. Although they were not what I expected, it was great making new companions at sociable places. I worked there for about 7-8 months before I decided to adventure to Denver. In Denver, I was able to experience living with my sister with a house and a car. A new atmosphere. Although that wasn't what I expected, it was a great, learning experience.

From there, I went back to Maryland to visit the extended family. It was great seeing old faces and the family for Thanksgiving. Job opportunities seem to be better over there then here, yet I can't get a callback for job applications I filled out. From there, I traveled back to Sacramento to spend Christmas. Unemployed has been really depressing at times, while other times its been enjoyable as I tried new experiences like crabbing. The homies are still the same and things seem to still be relaxed. And the kid I tutor is getting smarter.

For the holidays, I spent it in Sactown until Christmas day.. For Christmas, my family and I traveled to Los Angeles to spend it with my dad's side of the family. That was a new experience, as I don't think I've ever spent it with that side. The cousins and my sisters played kickball and flag football while I sat on the sidelines.

Anyways, this year has been a year of re-identifying myself outside of school. It's bittersweet as it sometimes feels like a waste of time not being employed. Other times, it's great to spend it with quality people I've grown up around. I don't know what next year will bring, but hopefully a job..Full time job, will be in effect. As this year comes to an end, a new one will begin. With that, Here are a few favorite memories, quotes, tweets and instagram photos of 2011. Enjoy!

News

Steve Jobs Dies =[
North Korea Leader Dies
NFL Lockout
NBA Lockout
Miami Heat fall to the Mavericks in the finals
Aaron Rodgers beat the Steelers in Superbowl
Tom Brady is still Tom Brady
Patrick Willis Best Linebacker Period
DJ Baby Yu still killin it.
Redsocks Falter in September
Rays Upset Redsocks in 14th Inning
War In Iraq ends after 9 Years
The World was supposed to end
Osama Bin Laden Dies by Navy Seals
Kemba Walker was not selected by The Kings
Aldon Smith. Aldon Smith. Aldon Smith BEAST

Memories.

Crabbing. Twice.
San Francisco trips with the homies for some chowder. Multiple.
One on One drives. Multiple.

Music Albums

Adele. 21.
Nicki Minaj. Pink Friday.
Jay Z and Kanye- Watch the Throne
Drake- Take Care
Cole World- J.Cole
Lasers- Lupe Fiasco

Individual Tracks.

Iridescent - Linkin Park.
Make me proud- Drake fT Nicki.
One and Only/ Set fire to the rain- Adele
How to Love- Lil Wayne
Trying not to Love- Nickelback
Houdini- Foster the People
We found Love- Rihanna
I was here- Beyonce
Next to you- Chris Brown ft Bieber
All back- Chris Brown
Beautiful People- Chris Brown
If you leave- Nada Surf
The One that got away- Katy Perry
Where the Story Ends- Fray
Mistletoe- Justin Bieber
Work Out- J.Cole
I don't wanna Care- Lupe Fiasco

Movies.Tv Shows.

Crazy Stupid Love.
Friends with Benefits.
Transformers 3
Friday Night Lights.
House Season 7.
One Tree Hill Season 8.
Money Ball
Captain America
Fast Five
The Lincoln Lawyer
No Strings Attached
Thor
Rise of the Apes

Worst Moments.

5/4/2011 - RIP baby girl.
9/16/11- The Roast Duck
10/11-12/11- Disappointed in a friend.
12/13/11 Lost iPhone for 4 hours

Best Tweets

It might’ve been the best that things didn’t fall together.It might’ve been the worst that the greatest things fell apart. It's all the same

Love may not be finding the perfect. But passing up the perfect for the best.

sometimes we think too highly of certain individuals and let that intimidate our next action...or inaction.

One of the only important things beside love is time. With time anything is possible. Figure, it's the one thing we're running out of

U may dislike me, u may talk behind my back. U may hate me, u may hate the way I act. But that dnt change me cuz I'll alwz hve ur back. fact

U can't keep axing a tree and expect leaves to grow.

They say dont hate me cause I’m beautiful , I say don’t hate me cause I’m different

You meet thousands of people and none of them really touch you. And then you meet one person and your life is changed, forever.

"She's the perfect target for my self esteem issues "

Ever notice it's the hardest things you can't say to the ones who matter the most

Can't fix something you didn't break, but you can always innovate.

I never saw this one coming babe, I never saw this one coming.

You only looking the wrong way, something like delirious and if you come my way I'll keep you intrigued and mysterious.

Rt @JennLui Whatever it is, it is what it is. Whatever it was, is no more. -Jason

Eery couple months I gotta remind myself im only gonna crash n burn

My customer told me he knows my character." calm and smooth relaxed and plays it cool"

You should have you're own toilet paper since u the shit

Swaggadelic Sucka

If u hype something up and it doesn't add up to expectations it becomes a disappointment

“It’s not who you spend Friday night with, it’s who you want to spend all of Saturday morning
with"

Whenever the world is upside down you are always on the right side up

Girls need to realize make up is an art, not a necessity. It should bring out the beauty in ur eyes, not cover em up.

Living without loving isn't living, it's sort of like existing. The question u have to ask yourself is, what are u willing to risk 4 love

We live life searching not for those we want in our life but those who want us in their life.

Don't ask me why I'm so different. Ask you're self why your the same

Everyones Replaceable.

When you live for nothing you're not afraid of dying but when you start living you're now afraid of losing.

You know your into this girl when you don't text your boy back.

I hella wanna gett my iPod n blast these fools with baby yuuuuuuuu

I just realized . I Ve been able to love. Not to be in love.

Sometimes, I'll hear a deep noise like the earth Is shaking, I can't tell if it was the earth shaking my heart or my heart shaking the earth

Sometime life surprises you, those are the Moments worth living for.

Let me romantically romanticize you and your romantic self

"I know you all need me, but I'll call u if I need any of you"

Your dreams will get u in trouble if u bring it to reality son

Yall couldn't think I was done-Wht does Morgan Freeman & @KingJames have n common?? They both been OLD-since we've known of em

If I walk away and just let you leave, you'll be stuck in my head like a melody

Lol rule #133 our grand business is not to see what lies dimly at a distance, but to do what lies clearly at hand.

"We scared of almost everything, afraid to even tell the truth So scared of what you think of me, I’m scared of even telling you" lupe

All the kids with the pumped up kicks better run run run outrun my gun

You don't need someone to complete you, you need someone to accept you completely

If you like someone, how many rules do you break?

Eject me like goose and let me fall into the ocean

Pain is like lying. There's no limit, we all hate it. And After awhile, it hurts all the same.

"you knew enough to love her... That's all that matters."

U ever realize there are over 7 billion people in this world, to text, to call, to email. Yet there's only one you want to talk to. Smh

U know that feeling you get when u might like someone ...well.. They don't like you back. Just sayin

If you don't act today you'll lose tomorrow and you'll be lost like yesterday.

"I like you" is never enough.

All good things never last, Most just want to be be friends.
Find the ones who are more. All great things never end.

Step on my feet and I'll step on your face.

There should be a crossing guard when she crosses the street. There should be a warning sign when she crosses your mind.

How can u be free to do anything but restricted to not do something.

"He always seemed to be able to say in very few words what you actually should have been thinking before you thought it"

"With his passing the world has lost a rare original, Disney has lost a member of our family, and I have lost a great friend."

"Steve may be the one true icon whose legacy will be remembered for a thousand years."

Life is too short to pass up on once in a lifetime moments

Why we waste our time on the best thing we never had is beyond any reason I can fathom.

You can't be lost if you don't want to be found.

Just because we don't talk doesn't mean I don't think about you. I'm just trying to distance myself because I know I can't have you

When you make it appoint to include me in ur life, when it no longer is a one way street, when you start to give a eff. That will be the day

If two past lovers can remain friends, it's either they were never in love, or they still are.” hahah

It shouldn't be iiiiiiiiiii or meeemeeemeee. It isn't youyouyou or themthemthemthem. It's either weeeweeeewee or none of the above.

Anyone i see tap dancing, juggling, will join em. One strike policy applies people.

If I had three wishes, i wish I wish I wish you would, bitch.

Rules shouldn't be broken especially by someone who s supposed to be special. Guess they ain't special!

When the world walks out, nobody's welcome in

U don't gotta like me. You just mad cause I tell it how it is, you tell it how it might be.

All women are psycho. The levels of psychotic malfunction depends on their maturity . Fact

The one person you want is the one you can't have. Or is it, the one person you can't have, you want.

Rule #50. You can always bail on a chick for a homie. But never bail on a homie for another homie. Bring the homies together.

Rule #28 The only thing u give to a person is ur word. The only thing u give to a friend is ur hand. The only thing u give to ur b.is ur <3

90 percent of the people u wanna talk to don't want to talk to you. Fact

Words will always be words but your words got me hella smilingggg

Every day may not be good, but there's something good in every day. - Unknown

I'm only an asshole if you hear their side of the story.

...you're lucky, not because you have her, but because I didn't swoop.. Haha

You know what's a turn off... People thinking they know you. You don't know me like that cuz!

So i sit here divided talking to myself. Was it something I did, was there somebody else.

I've seen good people do bad things and bad people do good things. God doesn't care who you were, only who you are.

Dont you hate when u wanna see someone but u don't wanna tell em cause u know they don't get that same feeling. So you shake your head

Find someone who remembers your favorites.

Good people will ask you what you think, best ones will know what you think

i dont assume or read minds and i dont try, you better say what you mean to me or what you want me to know!

She's been on more hotel pillows than chocolate mints

B Stands for Bitches.

#1415. Ladies, guys are sick of hearing you ask where all of the “nice guys” are. They’re in the friend zone, where you left them.

#1417. Success isn't measured by what you change in yourself, but what you change in others, bro.

Bitches only see one side of the spectrum.

Disappointed in your stupidity, you lack the qualities that make a person real and honest because you're too busy caught up in the attention

InstaGram Photos of the Year

Best Photography Shots Taken

Circle. O

2011-12-27T20:49:00.001-05:00

Deciembre 2011 Christmas Potatoes and Poo

2011-12-22T16:05:00.001-05:00

December 2011

Food For Thought :

I haven't really written anything meaningful besides these food for thoughts in the last two months, which is interesting since I'm unemployed. Not much besides job hunting is happening in life. Crabbing is coming up before Xmas... Christmas came by pretty quickly this year, but don't trip. I got all the gifts for the true homies! Family is all home already too. Although I brought back the Facebook, I am not and will not be on it for socialization. It is only there for a reference or contact. Other then that, I don't want to get sucked back into that hole of looking at people's business. Instead, I have this lovely blog nobody reads, and I'm thinking of starting a Tumblr. I think the blog will be me and my photos, where the Tumblr where be the place I re-Blog other people's items. Since October, these past two months have been very positive and vivid. Living is more awesome than ever and I think I finally found the purpose/meaning of life as well as love. Anyways, it's great that the NBA season is finally about to start. Crazy trades were revoked by David Stern and Stu Jackson both involving CP3. Cp3, regardless is a Clipper now. Blake Griffin is about to BEAST on everybody...
Well maybe I should make a Sports for thoughts. Lol

Sports for thought:

Patrick Willis got injured two games ago and it's been killing me to not be able to watch him. Although Larry Grant is beasting in Patrick's Absence, My father and I both miss watching him play. Larry Grant has been filling in the void nicely as John Gruden from MNF said, "Patrick might have to earn his starting position back from Larry Grant." Haha. Patrick Willis is such a hero who has affected and encouraged some many young souls in the football and non-football game. I know people who know of him in different cities and states other than CA and SF. One day, I will meet him.

Dwyane Wade and the Heat look real good this year. I think they'll get their ship this year cause the West isn't very good. Actually, Everyone looks kinda weak this year except OKC and maybe Chicago. I fantasy drafted and got robbed cause Brooke Lopez is injured for 7 weeks. Wardell Curry is injured again, and he was my first pick...Demmit. But don't trip, he's about to beast. I think John Wall is about to break out too, but I wasn't able to draft him. Not so sure about the Joe Johnson pick, he's usually a player I stay away from. But I guess Iggy and Kevin Martin are two I stay away from even more. Lol.

I bowled 200 twice this month. Woot Woot, my dream is over! haha Nah Now I'm shooting for mid 200's , or at least 220.

Big shout out to the 49ers who are beastin the NFC West. Surprising , yet not, that they lost to Arizona the week before. Although, they bounced back great by beating the Steelers. I wonder, and I am quite curious, if the 49ers beat the Steelers with a healthy Big Ben and James Harrison. Alex Smith can't hit those deep throws still, Disappointing.

Music For Thought:

I really don't want to hear Christmas Music this year. I don't know why, but I just have not been in the mood. Instead, I rather listen to Taylor Swift's Speak Now Tour live or watch the DVD. I've also heard the Nickelback CD, which is Okay. I only like three of the 12-13 songs. All the other ones are hard rock/ Country that I'm not too comfortable with.

Songs of the Month:

The Fight Will be on Your Own - Steve Jablonsky
Last Kiss- Taylor Swift
Lullaby, Trying Not to Love you- Nickelback
I was Here- Beyonce
Set Fire to the Rain- Beyonce

Quote of the Month:

"I'm a little Tipsy for you"- ME!

Goal of the Month:

_Be Nice.

_Take Pictures with that darn Camera

_Create my Tumblr/Website

_Find a job. Demmit

Last thoughts:

Everybody have a great, safe, enjoyable holiday. Hit me up if anyone wants to kick it or get some coffee. Always down for a reunion and a Ketchup. Be thankful for not what you lack, but what you have. Those matter more, don't worry about the materialistic items you don't get for Christmas. Just remember it's the remembrance and celebration of the Savior and all about Him and Fam Time. Spend it with those who matter the most!

Wardell

2011-12-22T06:42:00.000-05:00

Stephen Curry Goes Back to School

The Warriors point guard returns to Davidson

By Jonathan AbramsPOSTED DECEMBER 21, 2011

Stephen Curry steered his black SUV into a parking spot on the campus of Davidson College, the small liberal arts institution outside of Charlotte, N.C. He stepped out carefully to make sure his white shoes remained that way. It had rained, and the sun will make only a few scarce appearances throughout the day. Curry was bleary-eyed and caught in a mistake that most college students avoid at all costs: He had enrolled in a morning class.

Some NBA players played overseas during the lockout and kept up their basketball acumen. Some made music videos, and others disappeared from the public spotlight. About 45 players, including Curry, resumed college work they brushed aside to become professionally eligible. The trek is not really new. A healthy number of players return to school each summer. But one of the scant benefits of the extended offseason and lockout is that it allowed some players to make real dents in those long-dismissed credits.

Curry is on his way to a long, successful NBA career. He is the kind of baby-faced, good-natured player around which a team can genuinely market itself. A sociology degree is not necessary to make all of that happen. But the gravitational pull between Curry and Davidson is substantial and homey. It is more pronounced in an era of one-and-done players freshly removed from the generation of prep-to-pros. Curry helped put the school on the map, as far as basketball aficionados are concerned, with the school's 2008 run. "Heck yeah, I have," Curry said when asked if he thinks often about walking. "I went to my class's graduation last year. My roommate and some of the other guys I went to school with walked, and I celebrated with them. They have an annual graduation for all the members of the team. I want that."

The NBA, for Curry, embodied a fanciful dream. The degree represented a tangible goal, until the priorities and reality oddly flip-flopped a few years ago. Curry is the son of the sharpshooter Dell Curry. He developed late and could not even convince his father's school, Virginia Tech, to offer a scholarship. Instead, he went to Davidson, where they do laundry for students, tests are unsupervised, and students sign an honor code. The school has produced 23 Rhodes Scholars, but just five NBA players.

When Curry departed for the NBA and the Golden State Warriors after his junior year, he told his parents and coach Bob McKillop that he would return to finish his degree. Or they told him. Sometimes, Curry thinks that McKillop's cursory looks are a sign for him to hurry up, lest he mess with McKillop's pristine graduation rate. "He always gives me this look," Curry said. "I can't tell if he's thinking that in his head, but that's what I think."

On his first day back at Davidson this semester, a professor asked if "Wardell Curry" was present. "Yeah," Curry said meekly to the announcement of his seldom-used first name, "Most people just call me Stephen." And there was the time a student discreetly tried to take his picture in class and the flash blinded Curry. "Were my eyes open?" Curry asked afterward. "Yeah, thanks," the student sheepishly replied.

Curry walked into the student union after exiting his car. He stopped at a computer to check whether a professor had e-mailed back a response to a question. The college activated Curry's e-mail when he reenrolled. He started receiving about four or five e-mails a week soon after. Some students inquired about his availability for pickup games, and others wanted autographs. "I answer the ones that make sense to," he said.

He left the building, unfurled his umbrella again, and walked into Chambers Building. It is the academic hub of the campus and holds most of the classes. The school's enrollment is short of 2,000 people, and, even if you are not all that social, you can learn the names of most people if you stick around for a few years. Imagine Curry here in 2008. He handled the explosion of popularity well. Nearly one in four students plays a sport here, after all. Still, it occasionally unnerved him. Sometimes, he ducked into the basketball offices and hung out there for most of the day. His roommates had to sneak him into his apartment in other moments. Now Curry knows only a handful of students who were freshmen when he left, including the three seniors on this year's team.

He enrolled in three classes this semester: a class on the history of education, a medical sociology class, and today's qualitative research class. The research class is a precursor for Curry's thesis. He is planning to write on the relationship between basketball players and tattoos. He has already polled about five players and drawn a surprising correlation. Nearly all the players¹ said they wouldn't have as many tattoos if they weren't in the NBA spotlight, and they certainly wouldn't be as visible, because they believed it would damage their prospects at other employment.

Curry has only one discreet tattoo on the inside of his left wrist. It reads "T.C.C." and stands for trust, commitment, and care. Curry received the tattoo along with four teammates, and it served as their motto. The idea for the thesis arrived while Curry drove to class and tuned into a sports radio show. The show's topic concerned Panthers owner Jerry Richardson apparently asking Cam Newton to refrain from any tattoos or piercings. Curry thought about the many NBA players who would have shattered that rule.

Curry talked about his findings in class and about how the paper should be framed. The class lasted a little over an hour, and Curry sat in a circle of only a dozen students. The size is comparable to the rest of Davidson's courses. The faculty-to-student ratio is about 10-to-1. "I've got some catching up to do," Curry said afterward. "These lockout negotiations have really put a dent in my classes."

He met up with one of the remaining familiar faces after class. Lauren Biggers worked as an assistant director of sports information at the school, and helped handled the onslaught of media requests. She is now in Davidson's alumni department.

"We need to talk about your outfit," Biggers said.

Davidson plays Duke the next day. It is the classic David-against-Goliath matchup, except David is Curry and he no longer plays for the school. Curry debated which team to root for. (His younger brother, Seth, is a junior at Duke.) His wardrobe is taken care of, though. He will wear a red Davidson jersey in the front with Duke colors in the back.

Biggers and Curry grabbed food, which is when Curry met his first adulation of the day. Rosemary Turner, a cafeteria worker, has waited for Curry to show since she last saw him and snapped a few pictures of him. They were now developed, ready to be signed. Curry smiled and autographed a large stack, one after another.

The talk shifted to when Curry will finally graduate.

"2041," Biggers joked.

"It depends on how you would define if everything goes right," Curry said. "Ideally, I really don't know because it could be — the earliest it could be is August. The latest is a dot, dot, dot."

In the afternoon, Curry walked to the Baker Sports Complex. Belk Arena's court is sunken and flanked by two more basketball courts at street level. The men's basketball team often switches with the women's basketball team or the volleyball team for time on the main court. The arena holds more than 5,000 people, but only when the stands from each side are compressed and loom over the action.

Curry mostly worked out during the lockout with fellow NBA Charlotteans such as Antawn Jamison and Anthony Morrow at a facility closer to Charlotte. He decided to practice with Davidson today, an act permissible by the NCAA because he is enrolled in classes. Curry parked his car in the back lot. McKillop forbids players from using the back lot, but an NBA player is afforded some privileges, right?

Not here. Curry will later return to his car having been toilet papered by Steve Rossiter, a former teammate and roommate, also in town. Brendan McKillop, one of Bob McKillop's two sons who played under him here, also watched the practice.

Curry assumed his role on the scout team in practice. Instead of Monta Ellis and David Lee, his teammates were a couple of backups, an assistant coach, and a student manager. In one of the greater ironies of the lockout, Curry played the role of Seth as Davidson prepped for Duke.

Curry, in white shorts and a white shirt that contrasted against Davidson's black jerseys, remained a respectable distance as the coaches huddled the players. The team moved on to drills and McKillop's voice boomed over the screeching shoes. "That's what we need, five guys in the right place at the right time," McKillop instructed on breaking the press. "You can take it direct, you can pull that way, you can push that way, but don't invade his space."

For a while, the NBA player on the court could not be spotted. But then the scout team switched to offense. Curry hit a couple of deep 3-pointers. "Get out," assistant coach Jim Fox told the defense. "All the way out. That's what he'll do."

With the defense stretched out on him, Curry sliced through two defenders and kissed the ball off the very top of the backboard before it flicked through the net. The practice ended, and the team packed for the bus ride to Duke. Curry stayed behind to catch up with Rossiter and Brendan McKillop, who both now live and work in New York. The familial atmosphere is a large juxtaposition to Curry's entrance into the professional world. The Warriors drafted him even though he had never worked out for them. The incumbent star guard, Ellis, immediately announced that a backcourt that consisted of the two would not work.

The sides will reach a sudden agreement to end the lockout in a few days. The movement caught a lot of people off guard, Curry included. The school will allow him to finish his two final examinations, an essay, and the 20-page research paper. Curry will try to complete them during an abbreviated training camp. It is a better option than losing all of the progress he had made. "Once training camp starts, it's going to be pretty demanding," Curry said in a follow-up talk. "I've just got to grind it out." His name will immediately be thrown into a number of trade scenarios. The most prominent talks center around Curry as the main carrot dangled to land Chris Paul. "I've been through this ever since I was drafted," Curry said. "I was drafted, and the next night I was supposed to be in an Amar'e Stoudemire trade. We've had trade rumors around our organization since I've been here. None of that's new to me. But it feels good to be relevant in basketball talks and not just about the lockout."

Comm Documentary

2011-12-17T04:35:00.000-05:00

Communication Documentary, UMD at its best. My BroSki AlvinSki!

aH shyEt

2011-12-07T06:20:00.000-05:00

The purpose is upon your own discretion,

Use at your own risk, a warning to anyone who crosses this path

We look towards the future but somehow return to the past.

Life is a moment and we all let it pass by,

Hoping to better our lives, increase our fortunes.

But what is standing in front of us is the limitless amount of fuel,

To keep us striving for decades if our bones didn't deteriorate.

Unlike un-living materialistic matters which depreciate,

Not the matter of what, but to the matter of who, we appreciate.

We search our whole lives looking for the purpose, the meaning,

Stars, planets, the sky,

Things which are out of reach to most of us,

Not because we don't want it or we long for it,

It's more like entertainment.

Cinemas, romantic novels, love stories,

Imagery drawn to mislead us to the perfect life,

The desires, the riches, the best any body could ask for,

We see characteristics and attributes contribute to fantasy,

Lives we could have yet fall short of such treasures,

It isn' a matter of what, but to the matter of who, we appreciate.

We can live our whole lives searching for such a few, the proud.

"You don't know what you got til it's gone,"

She says,

But in reality, "You can't have what you never had."

It isn't gone unless you let it be gone.

Simplicity, the key to all great things.

Why define a meaning with sentences if a word will suffice,

The synonyms usually last one word long, never too deep.

Life isn't about what you're doing as to what you're striving for.

It isn't about the people you want in your life,

It's about the people in your life.

The greatest people are great not because of what they have,

It's what they do with what they have,

And how hard you work with it.

It isn't a matter of what, but to the matter of who, we appreciate.

Simplicity, Inner Circle, Family.

You stick to your guns, you stick with what's constant,

The ones who were there since the beginning, the ones who helped you pull through.

Not only in the matter of good times but to the ones who overcame the bad.

Life's hardship isn't a measure of your abilities and your accomplishments,

It is how you prevailed, worked, and strived to overcome the dangers.

The dangers of improbable, poisonous, obstacles who dare challenge your strength.

Your demeanor, Your rules, You.

We search our whole lives for meaning of life, the purpose and the drive.

Yet the things we need in life are right in front of us.

Nothing is ever perfect, nor is it ever what we expect it to be.

But nobody asked us what we wanted, nobody cares on how far we go.

Only to the few that matter.

To us, It's about what we work for, what we work at, and how far we are willing to chase our dreams.

Everyone struggles, at some point in time, some point in life,

Everyone struggles. Some more than others, yes.

But it's how we overcome these obstacles that build our character.

We don't live in contentment of ourselves, but to those matter.

Success was never meant to be with a dollar sign,

Success is who you have with you at the end of the day, everyday.

A few good men, a few good women,

Simplicity of fortune, a wrath of good people.

We search our lives for the one thing we enjoy, never realizing it's mostly because of who we enjoy it with.

People are replaceable, yet never in a million years can you take my best friend from me.

The more you go through, the stronger you become, the adverse you will be.

The more you both go through, the more unbreakable the bond.

If there is one thing you fight for, they are it.

To the death, to my dying day.

You don't let the petty things break you apart, tear you away.

Character, understanding, entertainment, and selfishness.

The true meaning of importance, dedication, and heroism.

How many days can you go without the best people in your life.

Not the matter of what, but to the matter of who, we appreciate

Just remember, irreplaceable character.

Psycho

2011-12-04T02:08:00.001-05:00

I guess people need to read things in writing to get the big picture.

Texting someone who doesn't text you back doesn't mean keep texting them.

Silent treatment isn't a game, it means stop talking.

The only silent treatment played is between two people who are in a relationship

If they openly talk about people they are attracted to, means you are likely not one of them.

Good bye from someone who doesn't say good bye means the friendship is over.

Being a stalker , being a creep, being anything but normal is psychotic and crazy.

Never put all your eggs in one basket, kind of means never put all your feelings in one thing.

If you don't know If they like you, follow their actions.

If you click their Facebook and the only posts you see are yours, doesn't mean they singled you out. It means they blocked you.

If you didn't get the hints from the words: creep, stop, psycho,, you need some serious help.

Don't flip the script to make yourself feel better.

The words that people say are usually in black and white unless further noted. For example:
"We were only friends" doesn't mean try harder.

"fuck off Tarzan" isn't a positive thing.

Blowing up someone's phone via twitter, instagram, wwf, aim, email, text or calls = turn off

Turn off doesn't mean it was ever turned on.

Principles exceed the needs and wants of others.

Talking negative about someone with your friends doesn't bring them closer, it usually means get over it.

Learn how to control yourself before you try to swoop on a person.

You can't take care of someone if u can't take care of yourself.

Learn the rules of engagement.

Read between the lines, it usually means what it sounds like, not what you think.

Things are usually simple. Complicated things never exist, only in your head.

If you don't see the reason, you might need to take a step back.

Life isn't a joke, stop wasting your time on false things.

Belief and knowledge are different. Ones a fact. The other is a wish.

You're stronger than you think.

November 2011

2011-12-02T20:39:00.000-05:00

Novembre Thoughts

Sports:

Well, lockout is over for the NBA. Maybe it's better that NBA seasons start after football season =].

Patrick Willis has a twin, his name is Navarro Bowman. "When I see him, I see me." Haha. Niners just suffered their second loss to the Ravens on Thanksgiving Day. I don't know if it was the lack of effort, the offensive line, or fatigue. I do believe that 75 yard bomb that got revoked was the turning point...The niners never throw bombs.
Alex Smith reminds us of how quickly he can fall out. Although he is a solid QB, he still lacks the composure and quick-decision making while under pressure. He doesn't like throwing the ball away and rather take a sack.

Food For Thought:

Britt got married! If you couldn't tell from the above post. Although Thanksgiving tried stealing your thunder...I remembered! It just took me a couple days after to text you Britt!

Entourage Season 8 is pretty good. I know a lot of people didn't like it because it lacked something previous seasons had. But all I care about is E and Sloan and that worked out ok. I also liked how they showed Vince's inner side, beside him being a celebrity.

I'm definitely changing my phone number.
I brought my FB back only for emergency purposes. I rarely go on it, and when I do, it's only to check messages. I don't care what any one and everyone is doing.

Thanksgiving in MD, along with my Gma's surprise party was well worth it. Saw some familiar faces and learned of job opportunities!

People remind me why it's a waste of time to get involved.

Happy birthday to my mom. My G. Doc. And Pegster

Music:

Song Picks of the Month.
The One that Got Away_Katy Perry,
Set Fire to the Rain_Adele

Quote of the Month:

"Why are we involved?" SK
"Family is people who love you as much as you love them." -#52 PW
"Oh Fasho." lol.

Last thoughts of the Month:

Although I am unemployed, Life has been better than ever.
Stopped worry about the petty stuff and minor things and am living carefree.
There's really not a thing in the world that can bring me down.
I accomplished the goals I had last month, and will hopefully continue more of them.
Being direct has shown some progress, although seeing them the next day is not good.

_Finish building your website.

_Apply for East Coast jobs.

_Go Christmas Shopping Early

_Crabbing/camping

_Sell my car

I hope everyone had a well Thanksgivings!

A Toast to Britt

2011-11-29T04:25:00.011-05:00

If I could have everyone's attention for one minute, this will just take a second.
You don't know me but I'm the long-lost, adopted, son and brother to the Christians.
I'm asian, yes I know...No not stolen from Korea. I'm Chinese.
Although two years ago in Korea was where my sisters and I encountered the Christians, it seems like forever ago.
I think it was the bus ride from the airport, where Britt took a picture of me...Sleeping.
Yeah, creepy, I know!
And for some odd reason for my birthday, I came to Utah to celebrate Shaun's birthday.
It was here, that I met the warm-welcoming, loving, and caring Christian family.
Something I will forever remember.

What is family?
Some will say blood related people are family.
Others will say Friends, Pets, Communities make up the families we lack.
As one of my great heroes, Patrick Willis has said,
"Family is people who love you as much as you love them."
It's not the matter of the shared last name, or the same beliefs and hobbies.
Family is the description of people we will forever hold in our hearts,
Who will be there down the road in our memories, our moments,
Through the good and the bad.
You just know, it's family.
When the doors close out the world, family are the ones who will walk in.
It doesn't matter if we are blood related or only friends.
There is always room for family.

Weddings are always interesting, especially in the beginning.
When you first enter the church, you're supposed to pick a side.
Bride or groom, and you're supposed to sit on the correct side.
But I think I got it down. It's an understanding statement.
We have already accepted one of these two individuals into our family and into our lives.
Some of us are here because of the Bride, Brittney Christian.
Some of us are here because of the Groom, Brian Olsen.
I hope none of us are here for the free food...=]
Tonight, is a memory, living history, and historic night,
Of two individuals coming together forever as One.
Even though the day begins with us separated by Groom or Bride,
The night ends with both families, both friends and acquaintances,
Together, as one.
Now it is time to accept these two individuals both, into our families.
Whether we are a Christian or an Olsen,
We are here to share the bond, the love, and the forever matrimony between two people. Not one.

Let us raise our glasses in toast,
Not to the bride or the groom,
But to the forever, Bride and the Groom.
Who we welcome into our family, with open arms.
Brittney and Brian Olsen!

__________________________________________________________________________________

The one that got away.

2011-11-25T02:20:00.000-05:00

The One that Got away

I've been driving for miles, listening to the slow jams we once played.
There was never a destination before so why have one now.
Jam after jam, lyric after lyric, nothing but love.
A feeling, an emotion, a distant memory.
Faint, but alive. Historic, but remembered.
Every time I shifted, you stole from my knob the only thing she could hold.
Your warm, soft gentle, hand, interlocked in mine.
And after my fourth lesson or so, I began shifting with my left hand.
The longer the trip went, the more songs we heard.
The further we traveled, the more comfortable you got.
You took off your shoes, covered yourself with your blanket,
And laid back on your pillow.

For the first time since being a child there wasn't a care in the world.
The phones were on silent, the jobs never worked at night,
And the cars on the road were minimal to the capacity.
No bills, no drama. No strings, no complications.
Just you, the music, and the road.
We could've drove until forever if no one mattered.
If families didn't care about us, if people never depended on us.
But only for a brief moment in time can we have what we want.
You had a train to catch,
I had a duty to attend to.
Because reality overcomes any fantasy we live.

Your beauty, your eyes, your smile.
Purified like an angel, perfected beauty and grace.
Girls have always come and gone, but no one was as right.
Like Cinderella's missing slipper, everything just fit.
Just the way I liked, Just the way you are.
There wasn't an imperfect part about you,
You mastered everything perfectly.

But now you're gone.
Because of another guy,
Because you moved away,
Because friends got in the way,
And life stood taller.
Because I didn't pursue you as I should've.
Things always find a way of falling into place,
Yet when the time came, I never spoke up.
Nor did I express everything I wanted to say.

It's you.
It's always been you.
You're the one that I want.
You're the only one that I want.
Whether you care to tango or not,
If you read this or don't. It's only you.

There is never a day that goes by you don't cross my mind.
There is only a memory which you were next to me.
A selfless pain to endure while you move on happily,
Because sacrifice is bigger than what we were.
I look at my phone waiting for your text, your call.
Hoping of such possibility even still existing.
Every night I think about picking you up, even if it is brief.
To cruise the star-lit, nightly skies.
I grow faint and weak every time I pass your neighborhood.
And every time I reach for the knob, I look to my passenger seat,
Wishing you would grab my hand, hold my arm, and kiss my cheek.
We could drive forever, you and I.
To wherever you desired,
To whatever you pleasured,
We should drive forever,
Whichever direction you choose,
However long it takes,
We would drive until the end of time.
The one that got away.

I lost my mojo

2011-11-16T06:11:00.002-05:00

Remember me part 2

2011-11-12T01:56:00.003-05:00

We will Remember Part 2

A toast to the 7 B. of people,
The millions of sightings,
The Thousands of acquaintances,
The hundreds we have touched
The many we have known,
And the few we love.

You might not know of who I am,
But I know you exist.
Whether we have intervened or unqualified,
There is a strong presence of your character inside of me.
It never matters about the status or the money,
Nor the physicality in your stature,
Or clothing which hides your suit.

I don't know how you think, or your habits you love yet hate.
Your friends, your family, your pets.
Your weaknesses, your poor decisions,
Your body, your soul,
Your choices, your Facebook Page.
Or your most deepest crushes.

But deep down, there is a heart.
A inner part of your body that exists beyond physicality.
Forgiveness, Compassion, Humanitarian, and Understanding.
A part of your body called Love.
It may be hidden, it may be unused,
But I know that it is there.

Everyone is born an original,
Yet, everyone is born with love.
We are afraid to admit our sacredness
Because we are scared of being vulnerable.
You don't have to explain it to me,
I understand.

A toast to you and yours truly.
Your family, your friends, your life.
We celebrate you and your character,
Your life and your accomplishments.
Whether we see your true character of commitment,
I will remember you.

We will Remember Part I

2011-11-07T19:12:00.002-05:00

Every day is a new day,
Sometimes the same, sometimes different,
Imitated, never duplicated,
Planned or Unplanned,
Spontaneous and Sporadic with Excitement in Ecstasy,
The 24 hours will carry on.

The music will play,
In our hearts, in our heads.
A symphony of sound,
Surrounds the suburban sun striking down,
On smiles and shuttered eyes,
Countless instruments with only
12 definitive notes.
Coming together to play a melody.

Laughter lulls our hearts together,
Whether we are strangers, acquaintances
Men, Women, Children, Pets.
Your friends, our family.
Our friends, your family.
We could've been anywhere in the world,
But we decided to be here.

There is a discussion prior to the events of time,
But there is no description deciding how defined the dedication is.
The end result will only be known after the end has come,
As we can only put together a puzzle after creating the picture.
Whatever we have planned has led up to this time,
This moment, this capsule, this memory.

Living history, History in the making,
As the actions of our bodies create the scenery of our eyes,
The thoughts in our minds, and sounds in our ears.
Recording with unlimited tape, the audio and video is being recorded,
Dated, and Archived.

Remembrance, Memory,
Unscripted.
No script could write such a story,
No story could write such a script.
Whatever happened, happened for a reason.
And whichever way we go from here, this will be left.
In our minds, In our souls.
From now until our dying day,
Until the end of time.
We will remember...

TBC

Thanks for the Bday Wishes

2011-10-30T18:38:00.004-04:00

DJ BABY Yu.
Princess Vjay

Huang

Moi

Boomer

A. Davida

Dinosaur

Auntie D.

Bestie

Jr.

Ziva David

Mi Hermana

ISS

A. Pegster

U. Yeff

Zombie Hunter

TfongKb 24
Jack Bauer

Commander in Chief

Papa Doc

Chrisp

Turbizzle

Lil One

Grandpa Aviator

Nin n Yei

Thank you all for your thoughts. This weekend I had some great memories and eating experiences. Included were Boiling Crab, Espetus, Sandra Dees, and the Golden Island. Went to my favorite place in the U.S. and spent it with some quality people. Although it's just another day in the year, everyone reminds me of their love.

And, I can no longer play 23 on this blog. =\

Happy Birthday Shaun!. I hope all is well in Mexico. Be Safe Bro.

SacTown.

2011-10-27T03:11:00.000-04:00

to Care be ful

2011-10-26T04:41:00.000-04:00

To care is to care passionately, unconditionally, and indefinitely
Until further noticed of destruction, disruption, or declination of feeling.
To care isn't a feeling who's mood is easily changed between good and evil,
But the sense that nothing drastically changes between the independent or dependent clauses
A permanent kind of causation in-essence, where the knowledge is an undoubted gesture .
We don't want someone to care just because we want them to,
Or else it would be only a care because of our want, not theirs
We genuinely want an individual to care because they want to care,
Because they want to share and compare,
The similarities, the differences, the memories.
The disasters, the tragedies, the storms.
To care is to be committed, regardless of the circumstance or the outcome, status, class
To care is to dependently independesize on the decisions and choices individuals other than yourself decide,
Not for the better of your life or happiness, but for their influence of yours.
A reciprocation of emotion and feeling, communion between persons coming together as a committed community because of commonalities comparing and contrasting contractions and contentions.
To care is to be involved and infected on any decision or indecision,
Like love, caring has its dangers of being hurt and used,
But it also has its enjoyment and moments to live for.
Like love, we can't control our level of caring, only know that we care.
How we care and what we care for is just as important as to who,
But who, always has the chance on ruining or destroying your dignity and character.
Never be fooled to care too much and receive too little.
Caring, like friendship, is a two way sacrificed, committed, compromised road.
Care for me and I'll care for you,
Just don't step on my toes.

why Me.

2011-10-23T16:42:00.005-04:00

I am speechless and shell shocked, lost in her eyes as the future unravels of what could be possibly what should be.

She continues talking, unnoticed of my sporadic behavior between my phone and her diamonds.

I read the text as I read it last night, with disbelief that she wanted to see me again,"I'm game."

Lost in the eyes or lost in the conversation, what she doesn't know is my advantage. Or is it?

Why she is here again when she knows what I am capable speaks volumes to the highest skies, yet the curiosity of why instead of will overturns the probability of anything occurring.

I've had her before or so I thought, and that only ended with her laughter and my tears.

But not today, not this time. This time is all of my cards on the table for her to call my bluff .

Does she see it, all that she has, in the palm of her hand. Right through me.

I will follow her wherever she leads me, to heaven or to hell. Through the clouds, in the thunderstorms, until the rainbows.

I could show her beaches and the beauty in love, but does she need a co-pilot or another pet

She smiles at me as if she knows exactly what I'm thinking,

I grin as if I am Hiding to prevent myself getting left on this island of loneliness again.

The feeling she makes me feel without her trying, as if she wants me to fly and fall into misery playing the what if game.

Sometimes I wonder if she knows but what's the point in wondering when there's no way I would be here if I wasn't interested.

The question is, why is she here, what is she trying to gain, especially if someone has already claimed her.

Is it because she wants a new lover or is it because she needs a new companion.

I should tell her I don't want friends, I need a lover.

Does she need a lover cause if she had one, she wouldn't be here.

If she doesn't offer to tell, I shouldn't ask.

Rule 32 screams otherwise.

What she does to me is beyond my understanding. Is this the true love so many have spoke of and engraved in their hearts.

Because the beauty in this attraction and this new peak beyond my heart blows my mind.

I said I wouldn't love ever again because the heart ache broke my heart in more pieces than anyone could Count.

But what if this is the one, the one I've been waiting for my whole life.

What if this is the one I tell our kids one day, if I didn't speak my heart, your mom and I wouldn't be here.

Do I risk the pain and agony, break my rules, just for a chance.

A chance because I had a feeling, a feeling that I don't know possibly to be mutual.

Is it not supposed to be a compromise between two people?

A sacrifice and a promise.

If people were to know, they would think I was crazy.

Like Jacob in twilight, Lucas in One Tree Hill, like Jack in Titanic.

You jump, I jump, I'm too involved now.

If I told my parents, they would think I was thinking irrationally outside the boxes box.

Is the normal activity really normal, or is it paranormal like that activity.

All of this feeling and assurance because of a couple conversations over coffee and tea is ...

Beyond anything anyone can fathom, crazy or normal, smart or uneducated, fantasy or realism.

She is still here, reaching for a rope, hoping I will pull her up.

So why does it feel like I'm on the bottom of this rope.

She doesn't say the exact words but her actions are interpreted as if she wants me to advance my heart.

Maybe I am over thinking her actions as she is only playing the game for her amusement, to keep her guessing, to keep her intrigued.

As a decoy and a distraction to her real lover, who doesn't seem to pay her the mind of day.

I've seen this before and she's played the card as the innocent.

Her beauty plays distractions to the broken,

Her attitude, her stature, her swag is a puzzle mind game awaiting its next victim.

I can't be just another player, another item, another game piece.

She needs me even if she doesn't want me,

But women never like being told what to do or who to choose.

I can read anyone's mind and heart, but hers is too guarded written in riddles like a trap door awaiting its next victim.

Tell me you want me or that you like me,

Tell me that you're interested or at least possibly thinking about it.

Or what are we doing here, her and I,

Speaking of past feeling, of past hearts desires.

Does she want to build me up just to break me down,

Curious to know if she still has me in the palm of her hand.

To think she likes me is killing me because I like her and there seems to be nothing but a wall to stop me.

A tease or a manipulative maneuver to take me off the market forever.

Ruin my every opinion of hers.

Is there even a point to the encounters, a meaning behind the glass feelings.

Whatever doesn't kill me makes me stronger, but whatever doesn't make me, kills me.

But who am I to say anything.

I don't know anything at all.

Just that she's here and I am lost, lost in her eyes.

I never want this feeling to end, this moment to pass me by.

If only she knew of such feeling existed in me, would she commit.

I smile with this sense of happiness like something is actually going on, like something is actually here.

I continue to ask why when I shouldn't because she is here tonight, she has already decided to be here with me. Not there. No coincidence.

She gives me a deep, passionate hug, more than friends can feel and whispers,

"You can't connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards..."

Why me.

OctoberFest 2011

2011-10-20T04:21:00.001-04:00

Every time you think the world comes falling down,

And there's nothing believed to have left.

When the world walks out,

And it seems like no one will walk in

Somewhere down that road, there is a street

A street you will recognize,

Who will remind you of your accomplishments,

Your character, your success, your life.

Don't let life beat you down, don't let it win

You're better than that.

Failures will come and go,

As well as most of your acquaintances.

When there seems to be no light left in the darkest hour,

One, will keep the last candle, burning.

Sometimes, it's the least person you expect,

Or the one you never wanted to touch.

But it doesn't matter who,

Because they will, they will hold that flame.

For as long as it takes to get you back on your feet,

Until they burn their hand off

Until they pass your flame to another,

They will support you.

Not because they want to or have to,

Or like you and need you.

They stand there as a reminder of what you've done,

How you've helped them through the rain.

And what you're capable of, who you can be, and who you are.

When the world walks out, they remind you

"You Matter"

Maybe to a few, maybe to one.

You still matter.

Things are never how you think, It's not like that at all

If it didn't matter, they wouldn't have said anything at all.

Because in all reality, you are better than that.

And We don't say good-bye.

________________________________________________________________________________________

Last Month Thoughts.
Food For thought:

Giants didn't make the playoffs. Neither did the Red Socks. Let Down.

The NBA and the players need to get some kind of deal sorted out because D Wade and Cp3 aren't getting any younger. This lockout is killing me!

How about them 49ers being 5-1!?
I think I'll get my parents tickets for Christmas to a game...cause I wanna go wear my Patrick Willis Jersey.

My adopted sister is getting married next month. Excited for Britt! =]

Music of the month:

Been listening more to movie scores and instrumentals than anything else.. The power of an instrument combined with multiple instruments to create an emotion where any sort of picture can be painted which a simple melody is beyond understanding. And for it to be given as it is like air, breathe, water, wind, and gravity.

Song Picks of the Month : Shout to the Lord_Ruben Studdard, Rose _James Horner, Iridescent_ Linkin Park, 23_Jimmy Eat World, Beautiful People_Chris Brown, Islands in a Stream_BeeGees

Quote of the Month:

"It ain't about how hard you're hit, it's about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward- how much you can take, and keep moving forward. That's how winning is done!" - Rocky Balboa

Rule of the month: Rule #43 Dj Baby Yu will always brighten the mood.!

Thoughts of the Month:

Lately, I've been letting the loneliness, failed companionship, and job failures get the best of me. I've questioned the people in my life, and the reasons for downturns. The feelings in my mind were let on to this page and It shouldn't have gotten that far. But as of Tuesday, 10/18, I've turned over a new leaf. My life is still up in the air...But I shouldn't question the failures, only appreciate the success and things I take for granted.

Goal of the Month:

_Find new hobbies for the big 2-4 and get one of my heroes [P Willis, Baby Yu, D Wade, T Swift,] to read a post (Not this post)

_Take More Pictures

Topic of the Moment:

We can't control anything beyond our grasp.

And Patrick Willis is still my hero, More than ever.
I can't embed this so, click this.

She's Gone.

2011-10-15T20:44:00.002-04:00

The distance she walks, the further away she becomes from the true meaning she has longed for. Days pass by like leaves flowing in the river downstream uptown. As spring sets in the city's glamorous evening incandescence, there is no Bright Lights shining tonight. Instead a yearning voice whispering a desperate cry for more then previous assistance in the past. Her patience is running out of the track like the tape runs out of a DVD. A romantic novelty is overtaken by the tragedy from uncontrollable, undeniable, misfortune circumstantial fixation.

The shadows enlargement overpowers her heart as colors venously slither away from her soul. 67 pieces erroneously fitted faced like a puzzles worst nightmare murmurs, 'The pieces don't fit here anymore.' Pain isn't premeditated, it's prescribed. What more can she do, because there's nothing left to say. She can't repair something she didn't break, nor can she replace what she never had. Tomorrow isn't a new day, it's a repeat of what happened yesterday. It's the feeling from the first day. She'll walk until the end of days searching for meaning while everyone searches for her. What they don't know is, She can't be found if she was never lost.

Step On my Toes. I double dare you.

2011-10-14T04:22:00.000-04:00

Take a hard, long thought at what you've done.
Think about the lives you've effected.
The ones you disengaged, the ones you ruined.
Take a look of the villain standing in the mirror.
Do you like what you've become.
Lies you've spread through your teeth,
The deceit you filled by the look of your evil eyes.

There isn't any remorse in your heart.
There is only blackness.
Filled with fraudulent fabrication,
misrepresentation to the tall tale.
Misleading to the misguided.

Manipulate to the melancholy man
Undermine his specialty.

It doesn't give you power, only some sick fluctuated infatuation,
A disturbing self-satisfaction.
Stealing from a homeless man,
Taking advantage of an impaired,
Leading a lover to death.
Fools gold fooled fluted fools.
If only I said it before,
Step on my toes and I will step on your face.

Exaggerate your character as you do.
And I will rip your roots.
Destroy your mind, decimate your soul.
Life isn't a game, and People are not at your disposal.
The only one disposable is the one standing in the mirror.
Feed on your forgery fable,
Fabricate the falseness of your fictitious fib,
But don't ever again, cross my path.
Do it, one more time, I dare you.
Step on my toes, and I will stomp your face.

BOLDer.

2011-10-13T19:30:00.000-04:00

all of Me.

2011-10-12T21:53:00.001-04:00

There are a lot of things you don't know about me.

What you see, is what you get. Nothing more, nothing less.

I don't wear the most make up like the models you like,

So expect anything but a model face.

My butt is not the biggest, my boobs are not as big as hers.

I laugh a lot, I cry too little.

Emotional, yet independent.

Dependent on sentimental.

I won't be as cute as you search and I can't be everything you want.

I like attention when you least expect it,

I let shopping get the best of me.

I'll drag you to intolerable events and obligated family parties.

There will be times you'll feel uncomfortable,

But I promise to never leave you out.

As you can tell, I'm not the prettiest girl in the park.

Nor am I the most talented or skilled of the bunch.

I have tattoos your parents won't like, and I have an attitude you'll find so discouraging.

I dance like nobody is watching, I act like nobody will care.

I am not depressed of being alone,

Yet I am compressed of romantic affection.

If she ain't going to treat you right than I ain't ever gonna treat you wrong.

Our differences are more that it should break us, Yet it will only touch us if you let it.

I can't try to be everything you want, But I will do my best to be everything that you need.

I will be your biggest fan, through thick and thin with the largest smile, cheek to cheek.

Support you when you are down and lost, even if I don't have a GPS to get us out.

Cherish the good and the ugly. no matter how hard it seems.

I've been stepped on, pushed around, used, abused, and broken,

So I don't expect you to fix me or the 67 other things that are wrong.

Just know that you're the brightest part of my day.
And everything else just goes away.

I can't explain to you how I feel in words,

All I know is that I feel them when I am with you.
Only you.

I just hope I am enough for you,

Because all I can offer is me.
All of Me.

Circle.

2011-10-08T20:50:00.000-04:00

Happy Birthday Best.

2011-10-07T20:26:00.003-04:00

The good in people

They come, they go.

Strangers, acquaintances, friends.

Everyone is capable,

But the measure lies in the individual.

It's not what they got,

Or how much they have.

Money can't put a price tag on it.

Because to the right person, it's priceless .

There's nice people, the ones who are sweet, genitive, caring.

But overall, good people?

Nah those are a dime a couple hundred dozenZ

It isn't what they do for themselves,

it's what they're willing to do for others.

It's their selflessness and their morality,

Their dedication, their sacrifice.

Every now and then we mix them up with the nice group.

But when it comes down to it, When you think about them.

It's beyond nice. It's beyond most them.

They tell it how it is, not how they see it, or how we want to see it

How much they are willing to go out of their way to make someone else's life better

Not because they want to, or need to, or have to.

But because it's apart of them.

Their talent, Their character.

Calm, collective, courageous.

Their will power, their drive,

To the Number 1 Good.

Happy Birthday best.

If you ruled the world

2011-10-02T17:12:00.002-04:00

If you ruled the world, there would be no world.
If the things you wanted in life were given,
There would be no meanings in life.
The right time to act is never wrong liven'
Happiness is a state of mind, not the state of item.
Silence is a poisonous action,
Yet necessary in difficult times.
Words unspoken are people awaiting the confession.
Expectations are disappointments waiting to destroy us.
Dreams are the one thing that drives us.
We live for love, the pursuit of happiness,
But you forgot to read the fine print, It says 'Money strongly correlates.'
The people in our lives are the ones we love,
Everyone else is a stranger who comes and goes.
One conductor is a faint reminiscence of the wind blows.
Musicians of disjointed notes are a traffic jam lined fashion.
While an orchestra's symphony moves mountains.
Why settle the world as a follower, when you can be the trend.
To be stubborn is to be blind.
Only one person is on your thoughts mind.
Doubt the cause, lose the opportunity,
Struggle with your life, struggle to find immunity.
Life is the reflection of your success.
What you don't have is what you didn't work for.
Always working is always fighting for nothing less.
Anything less is everything you choose to ignore.
The person you like doesn't like you as much,
They probably don't even like you at all.
But the one you love, loves you more than you think.
All good things never last, Most just want to be be friends.
Find the ones who are more. All great things never end.
Are we suppose to brake our lives when that one special spoken
Becoming hypocrites as rules are meant to be broken.
We all struggle but we only hear about success.
Never hear anything about average, only stories of the best.

Early birthday Present.

2011-09-28T05:07:00.002-04:00

My early birthday gift from my older sister. One I'll never forget. She has midterms this week so I had to fly solo to the T swift Concert. A little awkward talking to some mom's and fifteen year old daughters. But all worth it. =] Just the second concert of my life... next to Usher. Some home girls are jealous, other homies call me gay. I just have this thing for g.o.o.d music.

Note. I wasn't able to get Speak Now and You Belong with me cause I was saving my sister's cameras battery life.. And my phone somehow deleted Back to December/Apologize/You're not Sorry <-- Damn great one too.

I recommend watching., How to save a Life. Enchanted. Haunted. Love Story (she flew over me).

Sparks Fly. Intro.

Mine

Our Song

Fearless Ukulele

How To Save A Life Ukulele.

Enchanted.

Haunted.

Long Live.

Love Story.

The End.

Rolling in the Deep.

2011-09-24T16:17:00.000-04:00

Do you remember being in love.
Everything you ever wanted in the palm of your hand.
The thing you searched high and low for.
Despite the multiple heart breaks and heart-aches.
With one night stands and little flings nothing but history.
Do you remember the time where there was something to look forward to.
The one hour trips just to see their face,
Surprise visits just to make their day better.
Middle of the night phone calls just to hear their voice,
even though you had work in the morning.
The Smile. The laughs. The moments.
Multiple meals, Breakfast, lunch and Dinner.
Can’t forget the special trips to restaurants just for Dessert.
You brought around your place, your friends, your family.
The parents loved them just as much as you did.
Remember the movies, the drives, the spots.
The mini-vacations that were a couple hours away that lasted a weekend.
And then there was a promotion to
The vacations with relatives that lasted weeks.
Can’t forget Thanksgivings where the debate was your family or theirs.
Same thing with Christmas..
What to get them for Christmas was always the hard one.
The experience, the emotion, the bond.
Everything you led had a follower.
Everything they led, you followed.
Experiencing new things because it interested them, unexpected.
Support, acknowledgement, incorruptible.
The fact of missing somebody other than your family and best friend.
The feeling of being loved.
Your life, completed by one simple word.
Everything, for that time and place, fit.
The better half of you.
Do you remember being in love?

Because I don’t.

This Night is Sparklin, Don't you let It go.

2011-09-20T05:08:00.004-04:00

Beyond a moment is an emotion captured entirely through ones heart like a video camera records a video of ones heart. A feeling of unspoken characteristics in your inner self felt before yet different in aspects you simply can’t explain. History has replayed similar videos in your mind but nothing quite like this can be remembered as so Enchanting. From that rare moment, a thought, a picture, a tune reminds you of the exact feeling you don’t want to go away, diminish or end. And every time a flash of history enters your mind, you can’t help but cheese because it feels like Christmas all over again. Hoping that history is not in repeat of younger days, you sit to think, you sit to wait. Life is a masterpiece structure built by your own mind and hands, yet special others will share their own building blocks to contribute with your life architectural project piece. The blueprints are made in your mind yet drafts often become mute when the possibility of someone special walking into your heart.

Nothing can prepare you or plan you for such a dominant, off-guarded entrance. Yet the feeling that you feel has some charisma and relevance of mutual satisfaction and glory. The curiosity in character and beauty intrigues the uniqueness and fine composition of nothing less than a compatible counterpart. [I know we here together, so it must be something special. You could be anywhere you wanted, but you decided to be here with me. No coincidence it was meant to be.] You don’t want to get your hopes up in fear of the bigger in disappointment. But how can this emotion, this endeavor, be in your mind and in your heart, without warning or prior knowledge. When two worlds come together, it can be the most random, craziest story ever imagined but there comes a time when things in Hollywood actually come true. No script, no book, no story, can simplify such an emotion where someone’s presence takes you, your breath, and your smile away to further heights never memorized nor available. These kinds of things don’t come around as often as you think, nor do they come when you ask of them to. You constantly pinch yourself, wondering if you are dreaming in bed because things are too good to be true. And after you realize that the dream you have been living is your reality, you become speechless, awestruck, and enchanted.

You become afraid of the thought of being disappointing and nothing interesting to the wants and needs they standardize. Please don’t be in love with someone else, please don’t have somebody waiting on you whispers between your ears as if it’s just built you up to bring you down. But you’ve come too far now, it’s either time to return back the way you came, or jump and take that leap of faith. Although two worlds may be too far, too far apart, you question if patience for the opportune, gracious moment, is wrong or right. You’re too shy to ask, but too proud to lose. If actions each have its consequences, then leaving without a consequence is a pity and a defeated disappointment. Good conscious or bad conscious, what one do you choose in such an important, impacting, inquisition that has the infinite possibility of happiness. Things can’t be how they seem, or can they. Friends say, ‘why do you do this for,’ when they should be living knowing, ‘Why not.’ There is nothing else that you wanna say because by now they can tell you want it more than anything. If you walk away and just let them leave, they'll be stuck in your head like a melody.

The craziest things we do for the dumbest reasons might not be all that dumb if the things we do come straight from the inner part of our hearts. Musicians and songwriters create melodies and songs with words of importance, attitude, and truth. Music equals love equals life. When you listen to thousands of songs that are good, try listening to a good song that speaks your emotion, and you’ll realize it’s simply … speechless. If our souls composed a tune, our hearts composed a melody, and our eyes sang some words, it would sound a little bit like this.

This was the very first page, not where the story ends.
My thoughts will echo your name until I see you again.
These are the words I held back, as I was leaving too song.
All I can say is I was enchanted to meet you.

Don’t you let it go.

Giants Game/ Gold County Colorado!

2011-09-19T00:04:00.003-04:00

Went to the Rockies Giants Game and Gold County this weekend.

Food for thought:

Giants swept the Rockies, can they sweep everyone else?
Red Socks better not blow the wildcard.
If I had to choose between Tom Brady or Patrick Willis...Don't put me in that position.

Music; Songs are good, but when you relate to them their great.
I'm writing a book.
Going to add even more rules.
How do people keep phones for two years +? I can't even imagine how I'm going to keep this iphone4 that long. The last eight years, I always bought a new phone before the contract was up....lol

Song Picks of the month: Adele_One and Only, Lil Wayne_How to love, Taylor Swift_Enchanted,
Usher ft Beyonce_Love in the Club part 2,

Quote of the Month:
"I broke my own rule, started to give a fuck. Now we're in some deep shit and I wanted to see what you guys had to say about it, that's all" L.T Waters

Thought of the Month:
My life is up in the air...Completely up in the air.

Topic of the Month:
Opportune moments. "I like those moments, I like to wave at them as they pass by" C. J. Sparrow

Happy Birthday E.

Every Now and Then

2011-09-17T16:05:00.002-04:00

Every now and then we think about our life and where it's come to.

We think of the recent past and the overall history of our life.

What could we have changed, would we have changed, any of it?

Or are we content, realizing that what we have now is beyond what we could ever dreamed of.

The best things in life comes as surprises,

The good fall apart so better things can fall together,

Or do they?

Every now and then, we do something rash, something unexpected.

A new feeling, a learning experience

Sometimes, Unheard of or unrealistic.

We jump out of planes,

We hike the highest mountains.

We buy things beyond our budget,

We drink more than our liver can survive,

Yet we are still here.

The moment of unknowing.
Is it that adrenaline rush?

Where the heart has never beat so fast.

Or are we more mentally dangerous, we think about risking our feeling, our emotion.

We take the chance at something we never imagined we would obtain,

We fight for something we want, we chance everything for need.

Is it because it's rare to occur,

Or do we fight our gut, and believe for once, this will work.

And when we take this chance at explaining things we yet have no words for,

Our hearts are pumping faster than ever.

We might not take many chances at all in life, but then again.

All it takes is one.

Just one and our hearts beat faster than it ever has.

Goals and achievements aren’t about IF, they should be about WHEN.

Whether it's jumping out of planes or chasing the one we want, our heart is beating,

Louder. Faster. Harder. Stronger.

It beats as If we had two bodies, or doubled our size.

Risky, maybe. Crazy, definitely.

But sometimes it's the things we thought we would never do,

That change our lives, forever.

Every now and then things get crazy, hell breaks lose.

Every now and then we risk it all for a determination beyond reason.

Every now and then, we leave nothing left in curiosity.

And when we live through it, whether we make it or lose it, face it or love it, it is enshrined forever.

It is tattooed in our memories, our hearts, our lives.

What we did or wanted to do.

What we have or could've had.

What we lived with knowing,

Or knowing we lived without.

Impulsive Behavior

2011-09-17T01:48:00.001-04:00

Aside from the pre-meditated and the pre-determined.
There comes a time of doing things without thinking,
Without regard, without remorse, without reflection.
Instead, the act is on the here, the now,
The opportunity, the moment, the once in a lifetime.
To believe, this doesn't happen all that much.
Or there hasn't been anything like this before.
But, it is a want, a desire, an exceptional endeavor.
Some call it the best things in life.
Others call it stupidity and a waste.
Either one will suffice depending on the circumstance,
The party, the person, and the cost.
Every action has a consequence,
Every desire has a cost.
But at what cost does this become relevant and acceptable.
The act of impulse over takes us, only throwing out the rules.
Impulsive behavior, Peer Pressure.
The obligation to act, unintentionally.
Accidentally.
Is it because it is limited, being now or never.
Or is it impatience, something that makes us believe,
This one hasn't been done before.
"We are going to get it sometime, might as well be now."
Maybe it's for the surprise, not only to ourselves but to everyone else.
The best gifts in life are surprises.
Could it be for the adrenaline rush, a high, a feeling unexplained only felt.
Somewhere, deep down inside, there is a voice, screaming for freedom.
Yelling its lungs out, hoping to find some kind of peace, some kind of purpose.
A necessity, no.
An attraction, of course.
Regretful, Ask yourself the next month, the next year, the next five.
We make rash decisions because we believe it will make us happy.
We believe that purchasing an item on the spot will take away the pain.
Retail therapy.
With Power comes responsibility,
Maturity is the wisdom.
The measure of a person is not about what they have,
The measure of a person is what they could have, but don't.
They don't act on impulse.
Think before you act.
Irrational activity results in irrational productivity.
Find a purpose. Conquer priorities.
Living in regret is regretting life.
You must learn to follow before you can lead.
You must care for yourself before you can care for others.
Love comes only after you cry.
Live life, before you die.

Denver.Downtown.

2011-09-12T19:13:00.002-04:00

The Words Left Unsaid.

2011-09-10T22:11:00.000-04:00

The Words left Unsaid.

The valley of feeling is worse than the valley of death.
To live in fear is to live with doubt.
Failure isn’t an act, it’s a shortage.
Shadows don’t feel pain.
Emotions overcome concrete plans.
Music feels more than love.
Loving in action is not loving in word.
Driving needlessly is the only settling.
Lost with no destination.
Character isn’t seen in good times.
Disappointments are a given.
Understanding is never looking back..
Flying further than a runway.
Lying isn’t anything less than the truth.
Free fall in space.
Sanity doesn’t exist.
Fake til proven.
Tears are a reminder of history.
Honesty comes from the parenting.
Forgiveness isn’t an action, it’s a mistake.
Hang up the shoes. Walk, don’t run.
Dedication isn’t a desire, it’s needed.
A bag of chips is filled with air.
Reach for the sky is more than a jump.
One of a kind beats any quads.
Defeat isn’t a loss, it’s a sacrifice.
Built up feeling is a heart waiting to break.
Circles never break
Nothing is space with no stars.
Never again.

Rule #32

Adele can finish the Feeling.

2011-09-08T15:29:00.000-04:00

You ever get that feeling when you talk to someone for the second time.
There’s something about this person, something different.
You never thought a world like this existed.
The most beautiful sunset is sitting next to you, smiling.
Not because your funny, or cute, but because she is having the time of her life.
Much more than her smile is contagious.
The way she thinks, the things she does, the life she lives.
Her strength enables your weakness.
Excitement is an understatement of feeling that is felt just by one single thought of her.
Does the curiosity of the mind ever stop itself from controlling your body.

You've been on my mind,
I grow fonder every day,
Lose myself in time,
Just thinking of your face,
God only knows why it's taken me so long to let my doubts go,
You're the only one that I want,

I don't know why I'm scared,
I've been here before,
Every feeling, every word,
I've imagined it all,
You'll never know if you never try,
To forget your past and simply be mine,

I dare you to let me be your, your one and only,
Promise I'm worth it,
To hold in your arms,
So come on and give me the chance,
To prove I am the one who can walk that mile,
Until the end starts,

If I've been on your mind,
You hang on every word I say,
Lose yourself in time,
At the mention of my name,
Will I ever know how it feels to hold you close,
And have you tell me whichever road I choose, you'll go?

I don't know why I'm scared,
'Cause I've been here before,
Every feeling, every word,
I've imagined it all,
You'll never know if you never try,
To forget your past and simply be mine,

I dare you to let me be your, your one and only,
I promise I'm worth it, mmm,
To hold in your arms,
So come on and give me the chance,
To prove I am the one who can walk that mile,
Until the end starts,

I know it ain't easy giving up your heart,
I know it ain't easy giving up your heart,
Nobody's pefect,
(I know it ain't easy giving up your heart),
Trust me I've learned it,
Nobody's pefect,
(I know it ain't easy giving up your heart),
Trust me I've learned it,
Nobody's pefect,
(I know it ain't easy giving up your heart),
Trust me I've learned it,
Nobody's pefect,
(I know it ain't easy giving up your heart),
Trust me I've learned it,

So I dare you to let me be your, your one and only,
I promise I'm worth it,
To hold in your arms,
So come on and give me the chance,
To prove I am the one who can walk that mile,
Until the end starts,

Come on and give me the chance,
To prove I am the one who can walk that mile,
Until the end starts.

When Dreams Become a Reality.

2011-09-06T17:43:00.006-04:00

Part I.

Everything isn't as it seems as scene on the cinemas.
We have minimum meaningless relationships to temporary pleasure us.
The Friendships aren't what we live for,
Relationships are what we die for.
You can't erase what's happened, only affect what will happen.
The memories of love, memories of laughin.
Nobody can take away this feeling.

We have these ideas formed from movie scenes
In our best efforts, we re-create these moments in our dreams.
We live in a reality where dreams become real.
And we capture these moments to create such a feel.
Live in the moment because no one can take the moment away.
No matter where we are, when it is, we can re-live the moment anyway.
Yet it's not what we did, or what was said.
It's who we were with, and the feeling that will never go undead.

Is life about the moments that take our breath away.
Or is it the long run of love experienced everyday.
But what if the world only gave us one.
What if we were never in for the long run.
Only lived in the moments made speciality.
These moments were our only reality.

It's not who you know, or who you met.
It's who made you feel the way you felt.
We take it all in, re-living in the moment, Treasuring the feeling.
We evaluate, think, re-think the value of its meaning.
These are what we die for, this is what life's about.
The only ones who've stayed when the world walks out.
The only thing keeping you moving,
Is the only thing keeping you going.
Living in the moment, living the moment for life.

Part II.

They ask, why do you do it for?
Put yourself through this much pain and suffer.
Live in regrets or Kill the worst efforts.
Living a life of fiction, hopeless romantic.
Romanticizing something in fake, Making real what isn't.
Creating scenes in life like they were meant for a Hollywood movie scene.
Raise our morality, raise our self esteem. And live out these dreams.
Writing dialogue between two people as if it's already happening.
Trying to put onto paper the feeling of living.
Because this living feeling is the only alive feeling.

Realism is reality but much of it's gone unseen.
You Kill these dreams, you kill my self esteem.
Everyone has their own history, their own stories.
But what isn't alive now are just vague memories.
What if you could make the memories internally
Turn a story of glory to live eternally.
That's what features our desire for the cinemas
Chasing our goals, living our dreams, pleasure us.
It shows us a glimpse of what the feeling is

Haven't felt the feeling of in love.
Only the feeling of being loved and to love.
You see, people will come, people will go.
Only love we know of is seen in tv shows.
Past relationships are past failures.
One night stands are one nights pleasures.
Nothing matters when There's only one treasure.

Dreams are only thing that make your world
Feel the pleasure of knowing your treasure girl.
Living in fantasy, there's no limit of your excitement,
Living in reality, there's only fact of disappointment.
Your hopes, your soul, your dream, It's indestructible
And everyone in it, everything apart of your wishes, incorruptible.

Part III.

You've been here before, and you know how this goes.
You question their motives, their morales, their character.
You've seen this approach before, and it never worked.
Yet something oddly feels strangely different.
In every scenario in every dream, the dialogue you made was good.
But every time you talk in reality, the dialogue is even better.
This one is different.
Everything you did before, whether good, bad, or ugly, doesn't matter.
And Life is just that much better, knowing there's such a person who exists.
In your dream, you plan every little thing you hope will happen.
But this isn't a dream anymore, this is your life.

One day, a person will walk into your life unexpectedly and will change your life forever.
I truly believe that there's one person who captures your heart from one simple hello.
From that moment on, a feeling, a feeling you've never experienced, takes over your body.
As your relationship grows, the more you grow fond of them.
The more words they speak, the less you dislike about them.
The more acts they do, the less you'll doubt yourself.
You can't put into words how this person makes you feel.
It feels sort of like flying.
You just know, this is the one. The only.
And when you find this person, you fight like hell for them.
You do things you never thought were possible in your genes,
You try things you thought you never try.
It's not the give and take, or the pull and give.
It's the sacrifice wanted to be taken in order to fulfill their desires.
Their character and morality inspires you to become a better person.
They push you to the limits you thought you never could reach.
You do things not because you want to, but because they would want you to.
It's waking up every morning next to them, only wishing to go back to bed again.
Never did you think such a person of beauty and grace exist.
Their dedication to their friends and family,
Along with their hard work and community service.
The sweetest honey in the world couldn't measure up to them.
Not even your dreams could add up to this one.
The script was perfect, the movie was beautiful.
Reality is living your dream.

Let me tell you something you already know.
When this person walks in your door, take that chance you never took.
Sometimes we miss on grand opportunities because we are afraid of what might happen.
You never know what might happen.
If this was that one person that changed your life forever, wouldn't you risk it all.
Because you sure as hell don't want to be living knowing they're there.
You will have it bad like Usher all damn day.
Don't think about getting shot down because if it was meant to be, it would be.
Risk it all, put your heart on the line, fight for the cause, even if it could be lost.
Sometimes, knowing of failure is better,
Sometimes, the beauty is in the attempt.
It's not about finding that perfect person, It's passing up the perfect one for the best one.
The best ones are the ones you work for.
Only you know what you want, only you can stop yourself from capturing it.
It might've been a long journey, but once you get there.
You are there.
Where your dreams, became your reality.

Life Updates!

2011-09-04T20:10:00.003-04:00

Please email me jjwon3@gmail.com cause I would love to hear from you.
Denver is one chill cityyyy.
Studying may take shorter than planned =]
If you ever need to vent or need something, hit me up. Miles away, but one phone call away.
Give me something to write about!
Criticism always welcome. Almost been three years going strong!

New Rules

Rule #42 Always go Big ~~or Go home~~ – Don’t even think about going home.

Rule # 43 Dj Baby Yu will always brighten the mood.

One Chance, One Shot. One Opportunity.

2011-09-03T17:41:00.001-04:00

One chance. One shot.
That's all we want. Just one time.
One opportunity. That's all we'll Get.
If we don't grab onto ourselves, time will pass us by.
We take life for granted, always believing we'll be given another chance.
Life isn't about the opportunities given, it's about the opportunities taken.
It's not that we won't get multiple opportunities with similar things,
We only get one chance with that one thing we most want in life.
One thing. One person. One change. One job. One life.
It's our job not to mess it up.

Everyday we are faced with multiple decision and opportunities.
To do or not to do. To Be, or not to be.
They say, "If it's meant to be, it is up to me."
There's no such thing as coincidence, only planned coincidence.
Things happen for a reason beyond our understanding.
And instead of evaluating and over-thinking, we should just go for it.
Shoot for the skies and let our loved ones be our parachute. Just in case.
We don't regret the things we do, we regret the roads not taken.
Don't live in a life of what if's, curious on what we could've been.
That's fantasy, and we didn't take that path. Too late now.
Maybe it was for the better. Maybe it was for the worse.
All I know is, it's what you don't have now.
It's what you do with what you got that makes you, it's what you don't got that breaks you.
Don't dwell on the things you don't have, love things you do have.
Don't complain on the things you did, complain on the things you didn't do.
Actually, don't complain at all.

Learn from your decisions. Know that they weren't right, nor were they wrong.
We choose things in life for various reasons.
Whether it was in the moment, the feeling, the time, or what fit.
It's done with. You can't control it, I can't control it.
We can't go back in time.
Learn from your decisions. Learn from other people's decisions.
We won't live long enough to make all the decisions in the world.
We won't live long enough to make all the mistakes in the world.

Think before you speak. Think before you act.
Actions speak louder than words.
Silence speaks louder thoughts.
Actions always have consequences.
The size of consequences matters on the size of your brain.
Think about others, Care for close ones, Love the best ones.
Measure the pros and cons if it effects others than yourself.
It's not always about you Bro.

Sacrifice is necessary.
Your happiness is the measure of not just your happiness but the ones around you.
If you are happy, she ain't happy. "We ain't happy."
Life isn't measured by the happiness of one individual, but by the party of individuals.
Life shouldn't be measured by just your happiness.
Selfish, greed, power, authority. All will kill the world.
All will kill your world, and if we let it, will kill our world.

Life is a gift. Life is a beauty. Life is one of a kind.
Balance between yourself and others.
There's a time to be selfish, and there's a time to be self-less.
Know the difference, and know when it's right.
One choice, one shot, one opportunity.
One choice can make you.
One choice can break you.
It's all we'll get. Make the most of it.
Understand, things will not always go your way.
If it's not meant to be, it won't be.
Things happen for a reason beyond anyone's understanding.
We don't regret the things we did, we regret the things we didn't do.
Do your best, try your hardest, and let fate take over.
At the end of the day, know you did all you could.
You did the best you could do.
Leave no room for what if.
When the job is done, walk away.
With your held up high, go ahead and touch the sky.
Sky's the limit, but it's how big you make your rocket.

If it’s meant to be, If it’s pure fate, It will be and you will wait.

2011-09-01T05:01:00.005-04:00

There comes a time when somebody will enter your life and will snatch your heart with one quick swipe.
And instead of defending your walls of security, you crumble in a moments impurity.
Everything you stood for, everything you believe,
Falls down like fall seasoned coming leaves.
Debating on whether to skip a chance is safer than reliving your hearts past stance.
Is it always the best to be the last one to stand?

What should you do, what should you say,
When love opportunities come to bay.
People come and go, so keep the one who cares,
She’s the one you want in your life to share.
What can be, what has become, isn’t what may be coming.
When you live for nothing, you’re not afraid of dying.
But when you start living, you’re now afraid. Of Losing.

Fight the odds and disappointments for better of your heart,
or take a chance for something to start.
Live knowing you left it all on the table,
Or let it be, let it go, and remain stable.
Your heart has a track record and it’s not that you don’t wanna try.
But history’s seen that everything there will be, will only be, a lie.
It’s like a track on repeat playing you in these situations,
And all it takes is one look of her persuasion.
Wishing things were different, you search for shooting stars,
Cause she’s different and she can heal your hearts scars.

Although the countless possibilities seem more improbabilities,
and the probabilities near more and more as impossibilities.
Take a leap of faith and live knowing you did the best,
Remain optimistic and wait for her heart to confess.
They say good things come to those who are patient.
And when the time comes, tell her you mean This.
Sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together.
Share your heart because you won’t be her failure.

If it’s meant to be, If it’s pure fate,
It will be, And you will wait.

Like or Love, it's over Part 3

2011-08-26T18:01:00.002-04:00

Like or Love or None of the above.
Is it like or is it love.
The feeling you get when you're around someone.
What about the feeling you don't get when you're around them.
The times they've hurt you so bad you question yourself, "Why am I here."
The times they've told you they'll be there, but they weren't.
Or the times they showed up late to your event.
That's love right? At least like?
We are human. We make mistakes.
We forgive. But never forget.
And the relationship will repair itself.
Forgiveness is a beautiful thing.
So we stay.

"Fool me once, shame on them. Fool me twice, shame on me."
Scars. Scars remind us of our broken hearts.
Scars remind us our broken hearts were once torn apart.
Afraid, Weak, Scarred, that is what we are.
Nobody likes to live alone. Nobody likes to be alone.
So we stay committed to something half committed.
We commit to the one thing we believe will change.
We stay committed to the one person you believe is different.
We stay committed because it's the one thing we hope for.
And in order to stay committed, we ask ourselves the question.
Is it worth it.
Do the gains exceed the pain.
Do the desires exceed the needs.
We think we love them, We tell ourselves we love them.
But we don't love em. We don't even like em'
We tell ourselves we love em' so we won't leave.
We tell them we love em' so they won't leave.
Is it Like ? Is it Love.

Our insecurities about ourselves and that one person become our closest friends problems.
Our insecurities are questioned to our friends.
"Tell me now what you see."
We believe their experience will cover our inexperience.
We believe because they know us, they will choose for us.
They are the third party in the relationship, so they will be neutral.
Wrong.
They are for us because they are our friend, that is why we went to them.
So instead, we go to someone who we call our acquaintance.
We share, we ask, we question.
What do we do, have you ever been in this situation, what's going to happen.?
But you have already answered that question.
You don't realize that everything you expressed is every reason to leave.
And you rebuttal because you believe they can change.
But you've already been down this road before.
And if you're driving down the same road in the wrong direction, you know one things for sure.
You have to turn around.

Is it like or is it love.
The reason you stay. Stay miserable.
Maybe your comfortable. Maybe you offer another chance.
Maybe your wrong, maybe your friend is wrong. They will change.
They've done it before. It's just a mistake.
And we should forgive the ones we love.
Right?

How long are you going to replay that.
How long are you going to stay.
How long are you willing to stay.
The measure of your love isn't measure by the time you stay.
Ask yourself, are you happy.
Ask yourself, why aren't you happy.
The only reason you're not leaving is because your comfortable.
The only reason you're not staying is because it's too complicated to leave.
My bank accounts shared with his.
What about our future vacation.
What about our mutual friends, what would they say?
Shouldn't I sacrifice just one more time?

Is it Like or is it love?
It's over.
Face the facts and face reality.
The one thing you were holding on to isn't worth holding on to.
It doesn't matter what she says, he says.
It doesn't matter what I say.
At the end of the day, what you want isn't what you have.
What you want is more than what you have.
People will always offer their opinions, their advice.
Should you listen? Yeah.
But you're not making the decision for them.
You're making the decision for you.
You don't stay because they want you there.
You don't stay because you don't want to be there.
Do you love them? Yeah.
Are you in love with them? Well, if you've gotten this far, NO.
How long are you going to stay until YOU change.

Is it Like or is it love?
It's none of the above.
There are over 6 billion people in this world.
There's more than just one right person.
You just haven't found them yet.
Stop living comfortable.
Stop being scared.
Stop being lazy.
Learn from your mistakes.
Because you never realize what life has more to offer.
Chase your dreams. Follow Your heart.
Not your friends, not mine. Nobody else's.
Blessings are a gift and we shouldn't put a question mark where God put a period.
At the end of the day, the only person in the relationship is you.
The only person in charge of your life is you.
Do something about it.

Love. or Like? Part 1.

2011-08-24T19:49:00.003-04:00

There comes a time when we wonder the most discussed word known to man.
If animals could speak our language, they too would want to express it themselves.
Love, What is love. What is the meaning of love. And have I been in it.
We all have said the word, "I love ..."
Was it to your dog, your pet fish. Maybe to your grandmother, or your sister.
Yes, you've said it to your best friend, your friend in need, the friend who you've helped in tough situations.
But even though we used it more frequently then we can think of, we never ask ourselves, do we mean it.

Remember the good ol' days of middle school and high school.
We had crushes. People we thought were attractive, funny, cute.
And from there, our crushes became someone we liked.
We mistakenly said we liked them, when in all honesty, we never really knew them.
We were interested. Compelled. Attracted. Questioning.
And from there, maybe we got lucky.
Maybe they too, like us, were interested, attracted and curious.
The very beginning of our first crush, our first experience became a relationship.
The times we would talk for hours on the phone to rant about homework and gossip.
But wait, didn't we do that with our friends?
What was the difference? The word girlfriend, boyfriend, maybe?
As the times passed, we waited longer and longer until we couldn't wait no more.
It was the sixth month of the relationship, and finally one caves in.
The L bomb is dropped and all is not well.
We didn't love them, we only like them.

Have you ever told someone you loved them, who wasn't someone other than your relatives or anyone living under your roof.
If your adult about it, you can admit it.
It wasn't easy.
We've said to people we regret.
We've said it to people we didn't mean it for.
So the question is, what is the difference between like and love?
How do you know what is appropriate.

I knew this girl once. For name sakes, let's just call her B.
B. was everything I never expected.
From the time we first met, there was something there.
Something mysterious, something curious.
So as curiosity grew, so did attraction.
And as it goes in human nature, attraction if enough time spent,
turns into liking.
We watched movies, went for drives, walked in places.
We talked on the phone, through Myspace, and Instant Messenger.
As the relationship grew, so did our feelings.
When you like someone, it's this feeling you get where you want to spend every
second of every minute with them.
When you like someone, you hope they're free when you are, so you can spend it learning about them.
You see, if rightfully attracted, you'll notice every miniature thing about them.
Their smile, their laugh. The way they talk. The way they walk.
The attitude they yell, The feelings they express.
When you have someone significant, you see the difference between you,
And you see the difference between another friend.
It's different.
Every action they have with them is similar with you.
But you, you have the cherry on top.
You have the extra mile, the bigger smile.
The upper hand if you will.
Like, is something or someone you enjoy being around, or having in your life.
Love, is something or someone you need in your life.

And as the relationship grew, the more and more time I would sacrifice for her.
It wasn't because B. asked me too.
It was because I wanted to, and I knew B. enjoyed it.
But you ask, isn't that the story of relationships?
Yes, and no.
I had relationships come and go, before and after B.
But her as a person, was just simply put, on another level than the rest.
We've liked hundreds of thousands of people.
But only a select few are ever loved.
What separates the person from the rest isn't easy to explain.
You see, like you, I was in the boat of saying it because I thought I felt it.
I was in the boat of expressing the word love because I saw friends do it.
I saw myself portray the media, action for action, and drop the L bomb
just because the media said it was okay.
Like times before, I never felt it, I only said it to say it.
Kind of like, "As Seen on TV."
This girl was more than that.
No girl ever made me that happy.

Love, has this funny thing about it, where you think you feel it but you're not sure.
We've had relationships like that before, kind of like the borderline.
Is it like or is it love?
Did I really like B, or did I love her?
Liking someone is easy. Getting someone to like you takes some work.
When you think about someone you like, you smile and giggle because the day dreams you have are what can happen.
When you think about a person you love, you smile because the day dreams you have, is what's happening.
I loved b. For more than who she was.
I loved b. For not just her little actions and habits.
I loved b. Because no one cared about me more than she.
I loved b. Because the way she made me feel.
I loved b. Because she changed my worlds in more ways than one.
And that is why I did what I did.
And why I do what I do.

Like is knowing them, their character, their personality. Their favorites, their likes.
Love is knowing them better than themselves. Love is knowing what they will like, what food they rather have, what vacation they rather go on.
Like is when you take footsteps and they person may or may not follow.
Love is when you take footsteps and the person is next to you, regardless.
Like is them having a choice of taking the same route as you,
Love is them not wanting a choice, taking the same route as you.
Like, is this feeling you get when you see them.
Love is the feeling you get when you don't see them.

To Be Continued.

Captain of your Own ship

2011-08-16T17:54:00.001-04:00

Our life is the measure of our happiness versus the goals we need to achieve.
Along the way, we reach even more obstacles within ourselves,
smaller than the goals we need to reach, but bigger than we'd ever believe.
We chase our wildest dreams, hope for the impossible, and pray for a miracle.
We forget about our goals.
Never do we think about the simplistic words like dedication, work ethic, choice, or sacrifice.
Life isn't a breeze, nor are it's achievements.
If we didn't have to work hard enough for it, we don't deserve it.
Nor did we earn it, or want it. Simply put, there's something more.
Choice, my friend, is what life is all about.
The choices we made yesterday affected us today.
Today, our choices will affect tomorrow.
And Tomorrow, our choices will decide our fate.
It all starts with a choice, which makes up our journey.
Do we want to wake up tomorrow and go to work to earn some money to pay the bills.
Do we want to wake up tomorrow and go have fun, lose some money, and hurt our credit.
Or maybe, we want to not wake up and give up on life because it revolves around money.
And most of us, never put in the effort to attend anything meaningful after high school.
We got stuck working part time jobs at restaurants, or full time at some minimum wage job.
We tell ourselves, "I'm lazy, I'm not going back to school."
We stay in these jobs because we choose to take the other half of the part time to party.
We choose to better our friendships instead of bettering ourselves.
We live paycheck to paycheck, with unstable job security, in-the-moment type lives.
We make even poorer decisions by purchasing things we can't afford, hurting our credit, and creating a deep hole of debt.
We believe we have found love, accidentally bringing children into the world we can't afford.
How can we take care of the children if we can't take care of ourselves.
Instead of making life simple, we make it complex.
They say the world is struggling and the government needs to do something about it.
Why should they help us if we don't show them how hard we can and WANT to work.
"Unemployment doesn't help you, it hurts you."
Yet most of us say we'll collect unemployment until it runs out because We're lazy and we don't want to work.
Instead of blaming the government or anybody else, we need to face the reality.
In reality, we are the ones struggling to make the right decisions to make our lives better.
We are the ones that got us down into this deep hole we can't escape from.
Most of us don't want to put in the time or the work for the price tag we believe we are worth.
Most of us prefer not to go back and get an education, or learn a skill.
Others who have the skill set and the talents to reach the highest plateau stop short,
because of life obstacles such as debt, laziness, or sickness.
We were built by the government but over taken by the media.
We believe we deserve better and expect some miracle to give us riches.
If things were so easy, we would all be this rich.
If things were so easy, we wouldn't be living in a struggle.
Right decisions will equal hard work paying off.
"The Rich stay Rich and the poor stay poor."
Only because we let it happen.
We look at our families, our parents, our siblings.
They brought us into this world, raised us as their own, and set the expectations no greater than what they have.
And that equals our mediocre goals.
We believe that education after high school isn't as important.
We expect the corporate world to hire us because we deserve it.
But what separates you from the person next to you.
It sure isn't a degree you possess.
What miracle skill set were you gifted that nobody else has.
"Get paid to do something with your mind, not your hands."

Happiness doesn't revolve around money.
But the world does.
And if we don't act now, work hard now, we will be working for the rest of our lives,
Mediocre jobs.
Paycheck to paycheck, no retirement fund in place, or stability and security.
If we follow what everyone else does, we will suffer.
If we follow what everyone else does, we will be no different.
Hard work wasn't supposed to be fun.
And it's okay to have fun from time to time.
But it is you who needs to sacrifice your fun for your education.
Broadening the horizon, taking the time and effort to learn, will better you.
It will only Better You.
But with greatness comes sacrifices.
With expectations, comes effort.
With choices, comes responsibility.
Your responsibility.
It is you who needs to walk the path because nobody else can walk it for you.
We all have our own lives and our wants and desires.
It is only us who can shape that fate, walk down the aisle, and make the choices.
Remember, if the choice was easy, the outcome will be mediocre.
Change your work ethic and you'll change your life.
Change your choices and it will change your outcome.
Don't change it for me, your family, or your friends.
Change it for you, your life, your style.
Change it to better produce for your children.
Set the expectations higher and you'll better your future.
Independently Independent, not Independently dependent.
You are the captain of your ship, and you have two choices.
Sail to the cove where your friends and families are playing in the sand.
Or sail off to the unknown world, where nothing is for sure.
Nothing is given, and nothing is known.
Maybe another world is there.

Parenting

2011-07-31T02:00:00.000-04:00

Why good parents are good parents.

Raising a child is not supposed to be easy. It should be anything but simple or smooth. Yet we have this mindset that bringing a child into this place and raising one is a piece of cake. Did you know the average American price for raising a baby to the age of 18 without putting them through college is over 180,000 dollars.? Talk about the price and it's already a deterrent. And that's leaving at 18.

As a child with or without our own child, we only see the selfish parts of our lives. We think we are the world who they should revolve their lives around because we complete their life. They brought us into the world, ergo they should give us what we need and want, right? Wrong.
There is no common law that parents or guardians have to raise their child in excess ways. All that requires parents to be parents is food, clothing, shelter, and school (didn't always have to be like that). There's no statements saying we need to put our kids through special after school programs or extracurricular activities.

We have all heard this before but our lives can be so much worse. We could be homeless, living on the street unknowing where our next meal will come from. We can be living in a house with cold winters and hot summers (try Maryland) without the luxury of air conditioning or heat. Hell, we could be living in an apartment with one bedroom and 7 house members. But chances are, we aren't. At the worst, we are sharing a bedroom with our siblings, not our family.

Yet, because it's not in our own personal lives, we assume and take for granted that our lives are rough. Grow up, all of our lives are tough. You just think the world revolves around you, still. Everybody's life has challenges, but it's how you overcome those challenges that make your life better. Our parents had the same challenges plus your challenges, crying, and whining.

We can do things we want because we are grown adults. But because we are grown adults, we must. Must make it appoint to sacrifice ourselves for the better of others, not just you. Like our parents did for us, we must sacrifice our needs and wants for others. If your parents didn't teach you, let me.

Your parents are the backbone of your lives. Whether your 2 or 60, your parents are the most important people to you in the world. They brought you into this world, planned or accident. You are their child, genes, and blood. You are their creation, who passed down from their parents, their knowledge.

And when they brought you into this world, they gave you everything they had. Their love, their support, and their lives. They taught you everything they knew. They produced guidelines, rules, and curfew. They provided food, transportation, time, money and shelter to support necessities and some activities you enjoyed. They took you to ball games, movie theaters, museums, and vacations to show you the world and entertain your intrigued mind. They disciplined you when you were bad or when you needed it. They talked to you when you needed advice or just a friend. And most importunity, they were there when you least expected them to be.

Child and parent relationships aren't always black and white. There have been adoptions, deaths, drug influenced, and bad bad cases between the two. And of course there are always exceptions to whatever rule. Yet what it comes down to is the acknowledgement that your parents tried. They tried to with the best intentions and abilities. The end result might not be the greatest or prettiest. But I can guarantee you the end result will always be you. They are the main thing that shaped you. They are the main thing that define you, I promise you that.

Whether it was good or bad, it's never too late to make it better. In any case, there's always room in your heart for blood. There is always room to reconcile, thank, apologize, and love. We each only get two. Adopted also have two, maybe even four.

Understand that nobody is perfect, yet they tried their best to be. Either that, or role models for your best interest. Please realize that twenty or thirty years ago, they were just like you, finding it hard to blend into the world. Those years ago, they were you unknowingly with decisions to make and sacrifice.

Be thankful. Appreciate and love. Some of us don't ever get to meet our parents. Some of us were born without knowing our biological parents. Some of us were born and raised in foster care homes. That might make us sour to our biological parents, but understand and try to accept, that maybe it was for the better of our own life. Things happen for a reason, religiously or not. And in the end, we can't change other peoples decisions or choices. We can only accept our own.

Your own choices should be to treat everyone with respect, especially our parents. They have spent countless hours of time assisting and raising you to become the person you are. Let them know you appreciate them for doing what they did. We might not always agree with them, but know they did it for the best intentions. Know that they worked hard for the money they earned to supply you with adequate needs and sometimes extra desires. Know that they worked 40 hours plus a week to raise you in a nice household, and 160 hours to care for you. You and your siblings and pets. Know that they rather have you than a sports car or boat. Know that they rather watch you play or participate in activities you liked versus hanging out with their friends. Know that even if things got bad or sour, deep down, they think about you. Deep down, they love you, unconditionally.

Writers block

2011-07-22T01:37:00.000-04:00

I have writers block.
Maybe it's because there's too much on my mind
Or maybe because only one thing is on my mind.
What I want to say and what I feel
Are two things I can't put on paper.
It's not that I don't want to
But because it is just impossible to write

If she told me to Stay, that's Why I'm Leaving.

2011-06-27T20:32:00.003-04:00

Frost is building up on her windshield,
She stands in front of me, tears in her eyes.
I look deep down into her eyes and wish.
If she told me to stay, I would stay.
But things don't always work how we want them.
Every time I start or try to start something,
She stops me.
It's not because she doesn't like me
It's because she still loves him.
And every time she gets over him, he reels her back in.
And every time It always comes back to her.
I pause, I wait, and I listen.
Her silence speaks everything I predicted.
Tears of rejection, eyes of sadness, and words with no definition.
This will be the last time I run in this circle,
This will be the last time she has me all to herself.
It's amazing how she can be everything to me
But I am only so much to her.
I could be everything she's ever wanted.
Only if she wanted.
How many times can I break before I shatter.
After a year seems long enough.
We already know how this one ends,
The same way it's end the last four times.
Words go unsaid, actions are left with desire.
Moments of silence last several months
I am left with wishes and desires
She is left with one less nobody.
Maybe one day she'll grow up
Maybe one day I'll move on.
One last hug for the holding.
One last sour, peck, on the cheek.
Read my mind and just kiss me.
Kiss me already because I know you want to.
Kiss me and tell me you want me to stay.
If she told me to stay, I wouldn't be leaving.
If she told me to stay- That's why I'm leaving.

2011-06-21T23:40:00.000-04:00

Snowin in June

2011-06-10T02:50:00.001-04:00

There comes a time when you reach your darkest hour.
And when this time comes, the tornado has no mercy.
Everyday you wish to stay in bed and never go anywhere.
Have you ever been in a white out with the power out and the heat gone.
It takes you by surprise because you've never experienced it.
And everything else is covered in snow making it impossible to leave.
You were standing there in the wake of devastation
Living on the edge of the unknown.
You look to your concrete, your backbone, your strength.
And To no surprise, You were standing there, possibly alone.
It wasn't because you weren't friendly, and it wasn't because you weren't fair.
Some say you're the nice one, others say you're the best friend anyone could ask for
But none of that really matters when you need someone for yourself.
You really don't know who's dependable until you need them.
You really don't know when you need them until they ignore your calls.
And when you realize things aren't always how they seem .
Words mean a lot but silence means so much more.
"Not mad, you just have this tendency to cause problems, whether it's deliberate or not."
It's always when you least need someone when you have em'
And they're never there when you need them most.
Brotherhood is built on this, friendships die because of it.
What we once were, we are no more.
The words are filled with deception, never filling them to be complete.
It's time to let go, it's time to move on.
You'll catch frostbite if you stay in the snow too long.
You'll die if you don't move on.
Thank you world for not being there when I needed you most.

Alone is Here I stand.

2011-06-07T02:15:00.001-04:00

I'm down and out, lost and alone.
Unaccomplished, looking for the purpose
Incomplete. Something's missing,
Something's not right.
The right turn has made it wrong
The wrong turn is all that's left.
We don't know what tomorrow brings
Yet there's nothing here today.
People aren't who they once were.
Work doesn't have the spark it once had.
And loved ones have been stolen.
Washed up and confused.
Solo as a friend, Solo as a man.
Something's missing something's not right.
No one understands, and no one believes.
Doubted and hated.
Alone is Here I stand.

The Good Stay Alone

2011-06-01T15:03:00.000-04:00

Does it ever end? The darkness.
Filled with disappointment, Laid with deceit.
Impression from friends reflect the darkness among the individual's depression.
Exactly the opposite from the mind's evaluation of the groups perception.
Lies lay among layers of listed levels linked to deception.
Worried about peers, worked by employers, standing solo until somebody notices.
Heart once learned to live enchantedly and love endlessly.
Instituted by prestigious, perfectionist parental care
Trained to individualize and depend independently on oneself.
The measure is not where the individual lies in himself, but the value of his peerminship.
It is not where he treats himself above others but others above himself, knowingly known nobody is greater, everybody is equal.
Money talks loud voices but volunteers walk louder footsteps.
Nobody knows these days nothing about selflessness.
Reverse psychology equals negative interest in bad news
And great things result in unnoticed information.
The last man standing is standing in the darkness of fulfilled,
deceived, population.
A Superhero is what everyone recognizes as an icon who symbolizes fairness and equality.
But sometimes Peter Parker and Bruce Wayne is all we should appreciate.
It's funny that the the world loves everyone in masks, never the true character.
Calm and collective, charisma, charm, characterizing through challenge and controversy.
The Good Stay Alone.
Good things fall apart so worse things can come together.
The darkness is sometimes followed by a warm, Bright Light, sunshine.
Other times it's followed by dark skies, cold tornadoes, and black snow.
Love the individual, not the mask.
Not the villain, not the phony or fake.
Or the favorite, or prettiest.
Someone does. Somewhere.
The Good Stay aLone.

Dear Evelyn.

2011-05-24T05:16:00.002-04:00

Dear Evelyn,

They say the best thing anyone can do regardless of their emotion is smile.
I remember the first time I ever met you, standing there looking lost.
You breathed, you looked, and you stood tall.
And without a peep, you peered my way and passed that pretty smile.
Til this day, I swear it was contagious. Til this day, I can still picture that smile.

As we began our long, adventurous conversation, a journey began.
A journey that seemed indefinite. A journey that lasted a lifetime, it seemed.
You were a ginger who dyed your hair brown.
Well-rounded curving stature with those big, gorgeous eyes.
In the winter they were green, while in the summer, they transformed blue.

Gosh, thinking about it now, it seemed like yesterday that we started dating.
You were getting out of that long-three year relationship.
I was on the move all the time and had no time for a relationship.
Ah relationship, the word we both described to each other as evil.
The word we both decided to pass up and settle for friends.

We would text each other while pre-occupied with our boring school lives.
We would call each other in between work or study breaks, just to see what was happening after.
Somehow, the only thing we did after the school, work, and study was hanging out.
Friends, huh? I don't remember the last time I had a friend like you.
It's funny how attraction is. Both sub-consciously and consciously.

I didn't know friends could talk so much about varies of topics.
I didn't know friends could act like they weren't attracted to each other ever.
I didn't know friends could go on dates, flirt, and still not say a word about it.
Friends who respected each other's opinions, Friends who knew each other's desires.
Looking back, It's a little funny how friends could be lovers and lovers couldn't be friends.

What about that time your ex called you on your birthday.
We had just gotten done with dinner with your parents and were talking outside Starbucks.
Having a good time, sipping on some coffee outside on the clear, starry-night.
Temperatures were in the seventies, yet you still wanted my coat.
And then the phone rang.

It was your ex calling to wish you a Happy Birthday.
In respect and privacy, I zoned out your voice and paid more attention to the stars.
It must've been longer than it seemed because all I remember was you slamming your phone on to the table.
The phone went flying, the drink almost spilling, and tears started falling.
That night, I learned for the first time, how to wipe your tears.

And then there was that one night. Yes, I remember that night clearly. Do you remember?
I came over to your house to watch that chick flick I didn't want to watch, and loved it.
And I wiped your tears because all you could do was cry because it was over.
Afterwards, you made us an ice cream sundae, which sucked because there was no root beer.
While you were in the kitchen, I looked under some papers to find a letter.

...To be Continued...

I have been keeping these feelings inside for such a long time my love.
I honestly do not know how to say all my feelings in words and thought it'd be better to write them out.
You know, vent, think, day dream, and of course write.
Write exactly what it is I feel, exactly what it is I want.
And in return, I only ask for your honesty.

The chance I am taking in telling you my emotions is high.
It could be me gaining a lover or losing my friend.
It could be the last of the worst, or the beginning of the best.
It could be the ending of something good, or starting of something great.
And each time after contemplating back and forth, I realize taking a risk is better
Than saying What If.

From the first time I ever saw you, I was speechless.
From the first time I ever met you, I thought you were the one.
From the first time I ever talked to you, I knew you were somebody great.
For the first time ever, I was enchanted to meet you.
And from every time after that, I remind myself of how lucky I am to have you here.

I've never had a friendship like yours my dear.
It is simply too complex to even begging to label our ship.
I just got out of a long relationship, and you just moved back to the area.
Somehow, someway, we both agreed what was worse for our interest, was better for our hearts.
But if that is the case, why does my heart skip a beat whenever I am with you.

I want you to know that,
This friendship is the best-worst thing that's ever happened.
This friendship is the best-worst thing that I've ever had.
This friendship is the best-worst thing that's ever been mine.
I know this might be a little too much and a little too deep.
But this is how I feel, and this is what I want.

What I want is you. What I want is you. What I want is you.
It's always has been you, from day one.
From day one, I was too stubborn to admit it.
From day one, I was too shy to confront it.
From day one, I didn't think I would have to chase it.

The minutes you spent teaching me the game of Baseball.
The hours you wasted taking me to find my favorite shoes.
The days you brought me food, or took me to get ice cream.
The nights you kept me from shedding my tears, listening about the Asshole.
And the months you always kept me smiling.

I'll forever be indebted, forever I'll be grateful.
Until you kick me to the curb, I will stay thankful.
I told you from day one, you're not cute, You're beautiful.
And if you take me by the hand, take me, my body, and my soul
Forever I'll be yours, Forever I'll never depart.
This is more than a friendship, this is more than just art.
I want you to accept me. I want to be yours. And I will give you my heart.
I will ride with you. I will die for you.
I will support you, I will cherish you.
Because baby, I do, I do.
I want to be with you.

To be Continued.

Greatest Marriage Proposal EVER!!!

2011-05-21T02:59:00.003-04:00

Go On Love

2011-05-19T02:02:00.003-04:00

They say money can't buy your love, but it didn't say anything about time.
Everyday passes like there's something missing.
Everyday passes and I think there's something gone.
Stripped or stolen, lost never found,
It's the simple things in life we often forget,
Something so easy yet made so complicated.
It doesn't have to be this hard, but these obstacles become more than impossible.
Some of the things I wanna say aren't coming out right,
and I"m tripping over my words like I never thought I could think.

I can't back down but I'm losing so much time.
How many mountains must I climb, How many mountains can I move.
All it takes is both of us to be heart to heart,
And we'll make it greater, less apart
Is it too late, too late to be gone?
Maybe I should've missed my flight,
Maybe I should've stayed one more night.
Is it gone because we think it's over, or is it over because we think it's gone.

It's been awhile since we've last spoke,
We always seen eye to eye, how's your family doing?
It seems so empty without you, I never quite got used to it.
Do you ever think about me? Do your friends still tell you what to do?
Do you ever get homesick? I can't get used to it.
It's nothing I ever cared about, you're something I've always dreamed about
You used to be there for me all the time, and I was always glad to save you.
I always wanted to.
And without you, I feel incomplete.
It was always meant to be, but you always have the perfect words to say.
And though I hated you for doing so, I still think about you.
I want to need you and I know I miss you.
I forgive you.

Funny when you start to think, time flows faster than you blink.
We had a special thing, everything that's happened and all the feelings it brings.
Nothing's ever like it was.
Sweet like spinach, sour like candy.
I still think about you.
All I ever wanted was you, and you're still the one.
I know you see me right now, and know how it feels.
One look in your eyes and there's three little words that say it all.

Funny how I'm nervous still.
Could it be everything's by chance, or was everything meant to be.
I still can't walk away, not just yet.
You always kill me with the perfect things to say.
Every couple of months go and I won't face my mistakes.
Every couple of months I remind myself, I'll only crash and burn.
So as you turn and leave, let me say one last thing.

Go on love, Leave while there's still hope for escape.
Take what you can these days.
There's so much I had, so much regret.
There's so much more I should've done, so much more I could've done
And I loved you, and I should've said it.

Let's go haiku natures

2011-05-18T18:12:00.000-04:00

Warmer sunny breezes
During night crickets star gaze
Ocean tides are here

Smooth, swift, calm, and finesse
Flashing lights as lightning flash,
Never seen a man beast.

Dwyane Wade

Remember iridescent .

2011-05-15T01:31:00.003-04:00

Sometimes we don't have the dignity or the confidence to share.
Nor do we want to admit, declare or express ourselves.
We often are too dramatized or afraid to say these words or act our emotions.
Instead of following our heart, we allow our brains to do the thinking.
The best things we want to do differ from the important things we have to do.
Somewhere along the way we sidetrack into a more livable life.
A more pleasant, daily-routined, comfortability.

What we want is always the opposite of what we get.
Probably because what we want is never what we need.
Most of us are too afraid to admit it.
Others are too afraid to share it.
And lastly, we all try to outstand it.
But that emptiness, that feeling will never go away.
Even if for once we admit it, the empty, incomplete, heart-ache is still there.

Remember the good ol days?
The days where things made sense.
Life wasn't a breeze, but it was meaningful.
It was pointless or alone,
And the world seemed to a bitty understand you.
Yeah, those were the days.

The days of studying in school,
Joking about her style, and teasing her for her character.
Or the days he'd visit at school with a surprise, or work with a visit.
Maybe it was the pull and give, she'll come to him, and he'd chase her.
The days she would eat dinner with his fam, and he would eat dinner with her friends.
And yes, the night he'll never forget, where the tables just flipped upside down.
It's like he moved to the other side of the world, and she moved on to another feeling.

Though those days are over now, there's never a day where they don't think.
What if, how come, why not?
Maybe in another life he writes.
Never in a million year she thinks.
It was timing, no it was work. No it was nothing.
Whatever the case, she lives on.
Whatever the case, he made a choice.
She might not admit it, but he misses her.
And he should've never gotten on that plane.

Up is Down.

2011-05-11T19:47:00.000-04:00

A lot has changed since you left town.
Look around, You don’t run things around here no more.
Girls have moved on, boys have grown up.
Toys have been broken, shipped, sold, and stolen.
Family has packed, shipped, moved, and departed.
The town you once knew isn’t the town that you grew.
The city has grown, the buildings have expanded.
Time has developed the strange neighborhood.
Familiar, hazy, and unforgettable but unnamable faces.
Nothing is like time, constant.

Along your journey you have changed,
Along your journey you have died.
The character of individuality has become a solo follower.
Who is this man.?
The once sweet, tender, loving boy has become nothing more
Than an asshole.
Maybe he cares on the inside, and doesn’t show it on the out.
Some say he’s built a wall around his entire self, and won’t let anyone in.
Others who he calls friends don’t even notice.

He could be lost,
No he would show signs of weakness.
His confidence is too high, His pride is too deep.
Maybe He’s right,
Or maybe we’re wrong.
He could be depressed,
Possibly just alone.
Nothing to live for?
Something to live out.
Not enjoying life,
Taking it day by day.

A lot has changed since you left town.
Look around, You don’t run things around here no more.
You act like he cares.
Why does it matter if he cares?
Because someone down the long list of losses has to be one.
I would care, but what’s the point.

"You're so negative, always."

2011-05-09T18:48:00.001-04:00

Why do you do it to yourself. Put yourself through this pain, this agony, this torture.
You don’t make the most of what you have, you make the most of what you don’t have.
You complain, you whine, you groan.
You expect someone to just come along and feel sorry for your miserable life.
You care too much about materialistic items, you care too much about things that are replaceable.
And you don’t understand why nobody cares.
“You’re so negative always,” she said.

Sometimes being you isn’t the healthiest thing.
Sometimes being you isn’t exactly what you should be.
Sometimes, being different isn’t in your life’s best interest.
Maybe the things you do are unselfish, maybe the things you do are too much.
You can care too much but you can’t care too little.
No, you can care too little and never care too much.
Whatever it is, it is what it is. Whatever it was, is no more.
Things happen for a reason that no one can explain.
People blame it on bad luck, wrong choices, and inopportune times.

Stupid. Pessimistic, Disappointment.
You are what you say you are, you do what you feel what is right.
But how can something so right be so wrong.
We never look at the rights and say, great job.
We always look at the wrongs and say, what is wrong with you Man?
Why are you so negative she said.

His fortunes misguide him. His attitude misinterprets his intentions.
His healthy life is a dangerous lifestyle.
Always doing the right thing results in being right for everyone else except for himself.
Always being the bigger man only to finish smaller than everyone else.
Always taking care of those around him, never has anyone taken care of him.
Always being the nice guy, always finishing last.
Hate the man because he is always right.
Hate the man because he bases things on fact and not fiction.
Hate the man because every person needs someone to take the fall.
Hate the man because in the end, he will be the last man standing.
Why are you so negative she said, why are you so negative.

People blame it on bad luck, wrong choices, and inopportune times.
Whatever the case, that's how his life has become.
Blame the man because that’s all he knows, That’s all he’s got.
Why are you so negative she said, why are you so negative.

I never saw this one comin'

2011-05-06T20:37:00.002-04:00

Rightaways, Straightaways, Whatever the day, you’re gone today.
I should’ve seen this one comin baby girl.
I think about it all the time, I think about you all the time.
It was my fault, I never saw it coming.
I’m better then that, I’m better then that. You know that.
But that doesn’t matter, you’re gone.
You’ll never know. Only I live in regret.
You’re gone and I am without.
Every girl I see reminds me of you, but none of them are you.
I should’ve done something, I should’ve done something different.
How I am still here I have no clue, but everyday I wish it was me and you.
Instead it was you, and not me.
Somehow, someway, You saved my life.
Rightaways, Straightaways, You’re gone everyday.
Til the day I see you again, till the day we meet again,
You are in my heart, you are in my soul
Through thick and thin, blood and water,
I’ll always cherish those memories, and I’ll never forget your sacrifice.
I never saw this one comin babe, I never saw this one coming.

One last cheer.

2011-04-13T06:06:00.001-04:00

The game.

2011-04-01T05:22:00.001-04:00

It's just her and me
One on one.
I've been here before,
I've been in this exact position.
Whether I stand here and contemplate my next move,
Or wait for her yell out advice.
Her advice is opinionated, not professionated.
I sip on my cocktail, take a whiff of cancer, and look.
Long, quiet, and unappealing.
The sounds that once were so loud fade out .
It's just her and me, one on one.
I have so much riding right now,
It could determine if I call in sick tomorrow morning or go to sleep happy.
Statistically, my odds are in her favor, not mine .
But her interest should be in me, not the higher authority.
I look into her eyes as she looks away from the fire.
Her misconceptioning descriptionizong advisable information doesn't say anything to me that better my opportunities.
How I got to this I can not remember,
She's the queen of hearts with her elegance, unknown of a potential king.
I'm the jack of diamonds thinkin about two things.
Stay and be safe or hit that and most likely bust.
But I'm not letting my fate ride in her hands,
I am the leader of my group, the captain of my ship.
Hit that baby and out a triple.
Quince.
She ain't got no king, she ain't got no king.
She can be a queen but ima be her jack.
Ima let it ride, ima let it ride.
Queen a hearts plus a three year old kid and divorcing her king, that's some potential attraction .
Yes.
Enough stress has been had, enough blood pressure has been risen.
Drop a dub walk out 10 racks.
Color me out n I'll never be back.

Seattle, Washington

2011-03-22T03:57:00.002-04:00

Austin Yuen. Pro Overseas. Played tons of NBA players including Nate Robinson. Knows a ton of NBA players. Engaged to pro player and Former Oregon State star Kaela. Awesome Fam, Awesome City in Seattle, Washington. Was fortunate to meet Slick Watts, former Seattle Sonic Star. Was also fortunate to take hella pics including a Austin and Kaela.

Been hella up tight with time as I'm always editing pics, working, or traveling. Jeez not enough time to write in this baby.!

Yay Areaaa

2011-03-07T01:06:00.002-05:00

Justin and Ashley Photoshoot

2011-02-27T23:10:00.000-05:00

Sacramento kings should stay

2011-02-26T05:07:00.000-05:00

The commissioner was working late on Wednesday, a conference call cutting into his evening commute out of midtown Manhattan. Far from the big city, out in the sticks in Sacramento, David Stern wanted to send word: The NBA isn't letting the Sacramento Kings leave without a fight.

The Maloof brothers had visited his office on Monday, determined for Stern to get between their franchise and city and between the acrimony and the risk of the regrettable resolution of exiting Sacramento. It's turned so nasty between Sacramento and the Maloofs that the Kings owners threw their hands into the air and gave up.

Essentially, they asked Stern: Step down out of the Olympic Tower, take over the new arena initiative and save the Kings in Sacramento.

"The NBA has never done anything to this scope," Stern said.

Maybe that's because the NBA has never had as profound of a franchise crisis as it does now. Stern has called this a "model" franchise in the sport, "a spectacular success story," and there's a genuine urgency for the commissioner's plans to visit Sacramento in early December and begin probing the possibilities with the politicians and developers and Kings ownership.

Make no mistake: The biggest issue in the NBA isn't about toy store basketballs and bad behavior technical fouls, but the stability of its most successful franchises. Sacramento has a league-best streak of 317 sellouts at Arco Arena, which has been the loudest arena in the league and the most anchored to its franchise. Pound for pound, cowbell for cowbell, there's a good case to be made for Sacramento as the best market in the NBA.

So, there's no salvation awaiting the Maloofs and Kings elsewhere, no city that'll ever love this team and cherish it and, yes, support it the way Sacramento has done in good times and bad. It won't be Las Vegas, where the Maloofs run the Palms Casino. Nor Anaheim. Nor St. Louis. Nowhere else.

The Maloofs lost a confusing public vote on a downtown arena initiative last week, a referendum that was never clear to anyone – not the citizens, nor the Maloofs, nor the commissioner. In the end, the campaign was punctuated with allegations that the Kings owners sabotaged the vote because they themselves didn't want to move downtown.

Especially in the West, the climate for public and private arena-stadium partnerships has never been worse. Good relationships go awry over building issues; love affairs between cities and teams turn traumatic. Nothing had ever come between Sacramento and its team – not Garry St. Jean coaching, not Olden Polynice playing center, nothing until this.

The NBA could live with the New Jersey Nets leaving East Rutherford for Brooklyn, but Sacramento is a soul-bearer for the sport, a beacon of possibility for small-market teams. "Some skeptics questioned whether the NBA could succeed in Sacramento," the commissioner remembered. It's flourished there, and it is everyone's responsibility to make sure this unravels no further.

Once, the NBA had a beautiful thing going in Charlotte, but when the city grew to disdain its owner, George Shinn, the people refused to ever vote him the public funding needed to build an arena. Charlotte never should've lost the Hornets, and it's a painful memory that was still on Stern's mind this week.

"It sort of dawned on me in listening that there is really nothing more important than this," Stern said. "Maybe I could have been more helpful in some other cities, like the first time that the Hornets left Charlotte."

If he didn't do enough to save Shinn from his political mess, Stern sounds determined not to make the same mistake with the Maloofs. He goes back with their father, George, to the early 1980s when he owned the Houston Rockets. His kids, Gavin and Joe, were the whiz kids who breathed life into one of the NBA's worst basketball operations. Sacramento was dying for a winner, and the Maloofs gave it to them.

Now this seven-year fight for a new arena to replace Arco has grown acrimonious, and Stern concedes that part of his job here is to "diffuse" the two sides. These are the worst fights in sports now: communities vs. owners, public vs. private funding. The arena issue has also raged in Seattle and Portland, two longtime thriving NBA cities.

Yet nowhere could the Maloofs move the Kings and ever replicate what's happened in Sacramento. Through everything there, the fans are still the loudest in the league and still selling out night after night. Just look at Memphis now. The Grizzlies were a novelty for a couple years, a hot ticket under Jerry West and Hubie Brown, but they're gasping for air now, ranking last in attendance this season.

As a sports town, the whole identity of Sacramento is wrapped up in its pride for the Kings. A recent Sacramento Bee poll found that six out of 10 citizens declared themselves Kings fans. Still, this has turned terrible. Public officials are decrying the Maloofs as duplicitous, and newspaper columnists are taking sides with city officials and developers here, the owners there.

All of it has been polarizing, and all of it needs the commissioner's political savvy and his deft deal-making.

"The Kings and Sacramento are an NBA success story and I'm not interested in seeing the success end in failure," Stern said. "We don't accept that."

The NBA shouldn't now, nor ever. This is a fight the NBA can't lose because here's something no one would've once ever believed about Sacramento:

This is a city the league can't replace.

Adrian Wojnarowski is the NBA columnist for Yahoo! Sports. Follow him on Twitter. Send Adrian a question or comment for potential use in a future column or webcast.

Updated on Friday, Nov 17, 2006 2:57 am, EST

23

2011-02-23T03:00:00.001-05:00

I have come this far.
I have come this far to hear.
I have come this far to listen.
I have come this far to become.
I have come this far to become something great.
I have come this far to become something greater than ever to be.

It started from birth, the destiny and earnest given down below from the power above.
It started with love, the unconditional, constant, deep support from two unique, dedicated parents.
It started with following, the steering leadership from peers, older and younger, wiser yet humble.
It started from one person and has now reached over a million.

It might’ve been the best that things didn’t fall together.
It might’ve been the worst that the greatest things fell apart.
It might’ve been the teachings I never wanted to learn.
It might’ve been the studying I never thought I would need.
It might’ve been the karma that came back to bite me.
It might’ve been the luck that made the surprise.

Whatever it was, it has come.
What it was, I now understand.
Whatever it was, has now become.

Hardship. Challenge. Destruction. Earthquake
Doubter. Question. Deletion. Tornadoes.
Controversy. Hurricanes. Demolition.
Haters. Imitators. Duplicators. Non-believers.
Whatever you got, bring it.

Failure. Homo. Weirdo. Emo. Loser.
Weak. Stupid. Dumb. Pussy.
Things that made you feel better.
are things that fuel my fire.

They say the best revenge is revenge itself.
I say the best revenge is success in life.
I am who I am and it is what it is.
You can take it or leave it. Like it or hate it.

Whatever you hate on is what I strive on.
Whatever I have learned has helped me become.
Whatever it is you thought you knew about me, think again.

Through all the pain, through all the agony
I remember.
Through all the storms, through all the disaster,
I have stood tall.
Through all the rumors, through all the lies
I have overcome.

Whatever today is, today is today.
Whatever today is, I have accounted for all the earlier days.
Whether this is my destiny or this is a short pit stop.
Don’t think I haven’t forgotten. Don’t think I haven’t tried.
Don’t think I’ll ever give up, don’t think I’ll ever fade out.
I will be the bigger man. I will be the last man standing.

23 years I have been blessed. 23 years I have been fortunate.
And in those 23 years I have learned life is bigger than me.
It’s bigger than you.

It’s not about you and you friends. It’s not about my friends and me.
It’s about the world and impact you have on the world.
I finally know what it means to have sacrificed and to have failed.
I finally know what it means to give more than life.
We do things we want to do, not things we need to do.
Whatever we learn, whatever we adopt, it’s because we follow.
But at some point, at some time, it is up to us to lead.
It is up to me and you to make a change, to make a difference.
Someday, you’ll realize it’s not about you or your people.
It’s about how you and your people have made the world a better place.

It's time for you to change. It's time for you to become bigger.
Not your head, not your body
Not your legs, not your arms.
Your smile and your heart.

I thank you family for all your support.
I thank you friends for all of your ideas.
Now it’s time for me to shine bright. It’s time for you to shine light.
And together, we’ll flash the good life. Together, we’ll flash the bright lights.
I know who I am. I know what I’m about.

Do you?

Happy valentine's day 2011..

2011-02-14T23:44:00.000-05:00

If we all had great valentine's each and every year,
None of the special or memorable ones would be remembered.
If they were all the same, none of the ones we treasure,
Or the ones that took our breath away..
Will bring us smiles.

We might have had one great one, maybe five.
Either way, those were great..
So we shouldn't say, oh I'm not a valentine's day person,
Or hate the day.
Because deep down inside, we each have had that one tine,
That one memory, that one moment,
In which we will remember and cherish forever.

Happy valentine's day world.

Number 2 of February after 10 days!?

2011-02-09T04:23:00.000-05:00

If I could go back…

I would’ve tried harder to becoming the best I could be.
I would’ve tried out for the basketball team and the baseball team
I would’ve tried out for the soccer team or the football team.

If I could go back

I wouldn’t ask for all the attention from the entire school.
I wouldn’t try to be the popular on the block.
I wouldn’t be the one who acted a fool.

If I could go back

I wouldn’t mug people because I didn’t agree with who they were.
Despise somebody if they had better clothes than me.
Hate that I lost the one I wanted to someone who I thought was of a lesser.

If I could go back

I would cherish the time more with friends.
I would care more about my family and school work instead of the job.
I would ride the wave like it would never end.

If I could go back

I would make smarter choices and better decisions.
I would accept challenges and conquer them head on.
I would worry less about quantity and more about precision.

If I could go back

I would participate more in all the school activities
and stop worrying about after outside festivities
instead of running away from all the opportunities.

If I could go back,

I would work harder in school, where the grades and schooling mattered.
I would be brighter with people, being the best person I could possibly be.
I would be lighter with the people and in depth with the ones who mattered.

If I could go back,

I would date the girl I wanted to date because I liked her
And not worry about the competition and his satisfaction.
I wouldn’t hide in the darkness and in the shadows as a secret lover.
I wouldn’t be sitting here thinking why I didn’t love her.

sexy bZs [post 100]

2011-02-08T05:21:00.001-05:00

No Words Needed

2011-01-31T05:39:00.002-05:00

She likes difficult, not easy.
She says she wants the nice guy, but she’s attracted to the douche bags.
She says she wants someone reliable and stable, but only hopes on some a Holes.
She complains daily about the attention she doesn’t get and forgets about the one who is listening.
She watches some chick flick and cries because that’s never happened to her before, little does she know that us nice guys are the ones who have the brilliant plans.
She always wants to fall deeply for the bad guy, but bad guys can’t catch.
She tries for some guy who COULD sweep her off her feet, not for the one who WILL sweep her off her feet.
She will wait for that one Guy to NOT come around, while we fly circles holding up our own emotions.
She says she can't find the good ones. Clearly, she’s never looked our way.
She believes the bigger the catch the bigger the love, Mama always said it were the smaller things that make the big moments.
She puts her faith in a bad Guy turning good, but never tries the good Guy who never goes bad.
She will talk to her girl friends about how hot some dude is, but she’ll never speak of how sweet he's not.
She will wait , hope, and day dream about the ass guy who doesn’t makes the first move, while we make moves to her everyday.
She texts the guy who’s not interested every five minutes, but won’t respond to the one who actually sees her for more than a piece of ass.
She likes the ones who stand out, but not the ones that stand in.
She lives for the parties and the attention, and denies the steady and healthy.
She chases around for the guy who keeps multiple women chasing, but she’ll deny the one who chases her.

More often or not,

The man you describe is the one you’re not chasing.
The man who’s traits you desire, are often filled by the nice guy.
We listen to every word, and fit most requirements to a T.
Whatever we lack, we make up with our other talents you ignore.
The man in the movies learned those moves from us.
The difference between a dog like guy and a nice guy is, we have plans and we don’t leave when the times are rough.
We also don’t leave in the morning.
We know you for you because we listen. We don’t look just at what you wear or listen to what you’re doing, we listen to what you desire, what you like, and what your favorite things are. And we REMEMBER.
Every little thing that you do, we note, because to us it matters. To someone else, it’s just another “girl.”
We don’t worry about how you look without makeup, we worry about how you look with make up. JK We don’t worry at all about how you look, we worry about your contentment.
We worry about how to make things better for your life, not ours.
We will walk those thousand miles to prove our worth.
We will drive around town looking for the only size shoes you want.

We are the ones

Who take you to dinner just because, treat you well because we respect you, and buy you gifts because your happiness is priceless.
Who drop what we’re doing to help you because you deserve better.
Who open the doors because we want to, not because we have to.
Who slipped the romantic ideas into the movies.
Who get the bigger picture in life, not the one night stands.
Who will listen to you while you speak about your current abuser, Ex Boyfriends, and random dudes who get at you.
Who will admit our mistakes and work our way back not to impress you but because we want to.
Who always believe in what you do.
Who knows how to keep a spark on fire.
That buy too many materialistic items just to catch your attention.
Who think you’re going to finally realize we exist.
Who don’t make moves because we fear rejection and loss of friendship.
Who are unselfish, allowing you to experience whatever thrill it is you like to experience.
Who will always be there in the end, whether times are rough, happy, sad, or incomplete.
Who believe you’ll change your heart.

You’re in love with us, you just don’t know it yet.
The concept of love exists. Whether you’re a pessimist or optimist, the honest, true, character of a person is out there. Not everyone has the characteristics we adore, not everyone can be the ideal person. The only thing we as individuals can do, and will do, is be our moral, honest, person. The only thing we can do is be ourselves, unselfish, patient, and righteous. We’ve seen these stories and examples of love, and question whether or not it is true love. And the answer is yes, it is there. But it takes dedication, work, and morality. It takes character and courtesy, time and commitment, sacrifice and dedication, pain and suffering.
Be cautious of the people around you. They know what kind of person you are and what kind of things you’ll do for them. They’ll take advantage of your every positive aspect they can’t find in their surrounding peers, and use you like food stamps. The idea of love is so far beyond measures that words can not explain even if it were written in a book. Love is there because with love are dedicated people who are willing to risk their every moment and action to achieve such a feeling. And even though we cannot explain these feelings and desires, we know it’s there because some way some how, we’ve experienced true happiness. Whether it was with our families, our friends, or our toys, we have experienced the true meaning of love.
If you’re strung out on a person who’s not willing to give you that time, dedication, sacrifice, and thousands of other things you desire, then you need to ask yourself, “Is this person really for me.” The ones you seek to be your significant are either playing games with you or don’t see you the same way. Yes, maybe they’ll see you in the same way. Maybe they did. But the timing is most important in love. You’ve heard it all before, “I love you buy I’m not in love with you.” And if you come to the conclusion that you still want to be there for them because you know you are the best choice for them, than stay. Stay because that is what love takes.

To Be Continued.

There is one person in our lives who has the power to take our hearts to a new level. One day, the love of our life will walk in our lives.   And when this person walks in your life, they just sweep you by storm. All of the walls to your broken heart are torn down. All of the rules you put in place to protect yourself are nullified. You may have known this person your whole life or you may have known them for a second. Whether it’s a surprise or expected, they are the ones you’ve waited for your whole life. Their cute smile when you look at them, the smirks or gestures you make when they do something funny or stupid, and their adorable laughter when you do the weirdest things. The world may be laughing at you, but they are laughing with you. Nobody in the world can fulfill their voice, their look, or their every move. Anyone can imitate but never duplicate. Only you know who the originator and developer is, only you know who combines every little act to make them your unique love. One of a Kind.

Before them, life was just a haze. You wouldn’t care for much on your daily routine. Life was bittersweet, without a drive, without a purpose. You were usually indecisive but friendly, courteous but scared, and shallow but sweet. The rainbow was missing some colors, the tea was missing some sugar. Bittersweet. You were missing the life without the love. You never liked change before, but before, they were never in your life.

When you have them by your side, through thick and thin, great times and bad, you squeeze them cause you never want to let go. You give up your entire life just to be next to them, through richer or poorer. No money can put a price on this love. No person can fill the shoes that they have. No one can love like their heart can because their heart is simply too big And even though you waited your entire life for this person, you realize everyday, the time was worth the wait. Embarrassment is never in the dictionary when you two are together. Dance like nobody is watching. No road is too short or too rough, no secrets or mixed feelings are never too complicated or too wrong. You are the world.

They are never too tough or too hard on you. You are purely your true and honest self and they love you for it. There’s no need to hide anything because they simply see the brightest light you have to shine. They never bring you down because you are perfect in their eyes, even if you feel as if they deserve better. They protect you with all their might, and they support you with all their will. They are never afraid to bring you out in public or tell their friends who you are and what you mean to them. Us against the World.

Jealousy, ambitions, deception are never valid in you because you trust them. You love them for who they are with no games attached. Everything you do is for them because you know the gesture is mutual. Every time your phone rings or a text message is received, you look at your phone with the sense that it’s them. And with no disappointed, it is. Either them telling you to have a good day or “I’ll see you when you’re done,” gives you the excitement with the warm fuzzy feeling inside, the smile on the outside, and the knowledge that today will be a great day. Today will be a great day because the best part of the day has yet to come. The best part of my day, at the end of the day, you will be together. It is moments like these you remember the most, it is these moments that will always take our feelings to the next level.

When something great happens, you can’t wait to share it with them. Even if they don’t see things the same way, they’ll smile because they know it’s what you enjoy. During the rough times, you’re not afraid to tell them they’re wrong because you love them any way with whatever they do. And though you may advise them differently with life’s many obstacles, you know your love for them will never change. You share secrets to each other because they’re your other half, and who else would be better to share things with than them. Your understanding and feeling for one another are equally developed and parallel with the lifestyle you live. Your disagreements are never more than disagreements. If the time calls for a shoulder, they are there to lean on. Laughing or crying, they are never embarrassed to laugh or cry with you. Thick and thin. Sickness and in health, they are caring for you with whatever disease you have. Risking their own job and their health to ensure that you are the most comfortable sick person.

A Whole New World. Foods you thought you’d never try, you like. News that never interested or pertained to you before, now interest you more than ever now that they talk about it. The things you thought you never do or like becomes fascinating because they introduced you to their world.   Every action you make or take, you think beforehand and contemplate each and every single time, “What would they think? What would they do?” Better yet, most of the time you think, “Will they do this with me?” 9 times out of 10 the answer is yes, regardless of how they feel about the matter.

My other half. It’s more than friend, it’s family. They are your truest and honest best friend, they are your heart’s keeper. They take away the IN of complete. They add the Me to Aweso. They are the cement in your walls, they are the legs where you stand.   The pain you had is no more. The love you never knew is there. Hold on tight, Hold on tight.

It’s just you and me, off into the sunset

bright Lights iLLumination

2011-01-19T01:12:00.003-05:00

An Honest Character.

2011-01-16T05:42:00.001-05:00

Once you get there, it's easy to understand.
We can all get there, The point is to get there.
It's pure but never simple.
The first reaction is hatred.
Not all men accept it, only those who seek it.
You can bend it, you can Twist it.
Manipulate, Connive, Abuse or Misuse it.
You can gossip rumors,
You can dump layers of garbage on top.
Spread it through the grapevine,
Sing to the clouds.
But until you find it, you will be lost.
You'll never find yourself until you face it.
It should be your ears open and not your mouth.
Because you never let your ears hear it.
Everything will be not the honesty.
Malice may attack it
Ignorance may deride it
But in the end, there it is.
Sooner or later, it will be found out.
It is up to you to face it.
No matter how hard you try to ignore it or deny it, eventually the lies fall away.
Whether you like it or not,
The truth is incontrovertible.
And when you have the truth,
Truth hurts.
And in the end, even God can't change the truth.

A person's Drive to succeed is also his obsession.

2011-01-12T18:17:00.001-05:00

All it takes is a spark.
One spark makes something happen.
An idea, a spark of light, a goal in our heads.
Us as individuals have thousands of sparks within ourselves like the stars among the sky.
Sparks to obtain, Spark to fight, , Sparks to become.
For what we believe, for what we want, for what we need.
To better living conditions, to better others, to better ourselves.
Nobody cares to what we deserve, Nobody believes on what we can achieve.
Doubtful, unfaithful, discouraging, impossible, waste of time.
Fuel my fire. Spark my flame. And there will be more then just. pain.
There is fire within us that will overcome the biggest obstacle.
No water can put this challenge fire out.
One can of gasoline and one simple idea drives our little spark into a water-proof fire.
Never forget those who’ve helped you fuel your fire,
Never forget those who’ve tried to put your fire out
Pyromaniacs or Firefighters, pick your team
Never get caught up in the smoke, distracting you from your mission
A person’s drive to succeed is also his obsession
The flame of your drive is the flame of your obsession
With drive and obsession there needs to be control
A balance between love and desire
Never let your taste of success supersede the gasoline
Discipline me with violence, blend me with peace
Combine me with hate and I can’t face defeat
Don’t let all the oxygen consume my fire
Don’t let all the firefighters destroy my flame
Never Forget,
With every fire something gets burnt, With every fire someone Burns.

I was Born a Christian

2011-01-10T01:50:00.000-05:00

Oh my Christian!

I can’t believe I forgot about my long lost Christian Family! I feel terrible so this post is going to them. All of them! All 302 of them. I might be a little off on that, but it’s probably around there. Haha

Anyways, this past summer on my trip to South Korea with fellow student Peace Makers, I met the Christian family from Utah. I met Brittney and Shaun Christian. These two were the coolest kids in the entire program besides me and my family. Haha JK, We were all pretty cool kids. But Shaun and Brittney stood out the most, in a good way. The first time I saw Brittney and Shaun, they were sitting together on the bus on the trip into Seoul. Brittney said to me, “Do you want to take a picture out of this window?” I replied, “No,” and that was it.

For the first couple of days, I was a quiet fella just mindin’ his own business. It wasn’t until the night we had free time to eat wherever we wanted. It was my roomie, Andrew, Jessica, Ryan, Shaun, and Brittney. We walked looking for American food, darn white people! Haha We stumbled upon Dominoes and ordered pizza. The time we had that night started our from then until the rest of the trip. When we returned home, we exchanged numbers and Facebook info.

The entire Christian family is a wonderful family. Jessica, Ryan, and Scott are also apart of the Christian family. Both Brittney and Shaun remained in contact the most after the trip. Whether it was every Sunday texts or phone calls, we talked about life issues, our friendship, and the Korea Trip. We all wished we could go back.

At the end of October, for Shaun and my birthday, I reunited with my long last family. I went to Utah to meet more Christians including the Ma and Pa of Brittney and Shaun. I also met the youngest Christian of the family, Jacob. The time was very memorable and home-feeling. They gave my sister and I very great food and hospitality for the entire weekend. The Christians gave us great laughs and great times.

This post is dedicated to them because I somehow forgot to write thanks to them at the end of the New Years. I swear I wrote something but when I was looking for it, I couldn’t find it. But here it goes.

Brittney, you are a creeper! You hecka took pictures of me from afar when we didn’t even meet each other! haha. I’m glad you did though. It is something crazy to laugh about. We had our great times in South Korea and Utah. I’m glad we kept in touch all this time. I miss you so much! When I was lonely or feeling depressed you were always there to encourage me on better things. You are a very sweet and kind person on a different level than the rest of the world. You put everyone else first before yourself, which is a very admirable trait. We have lots of similarities on different things. But we also have very many differences we argue about, which makes our conversations fun. I’m so glad we continue to talk until today!

Shaun, oh Shaun. You are a funny kid. I still can’t believe your 19! I thought you were like, 20 at least. You are very mature for your age…Sometimes.. haha I’m glad that you and I have kept our talks too. You are a very cool guy who follows your heart. Without our talks or times, things could’ve got very boring with Brittney…jk. But seriously, we had some good talks as well.. Mostly on Taylor Swift and other women.. Or your 2 year thing =/ I’m so happy you’re finally getting to do your thing after 18 years of waiting. I know you’re going to do great. Your presence will impact hundreds of people down south. We will continue to talk throughout our lives as well, even if I have to write you LETTERS!

Jacob. Jacob, Jacob Jacob. Where do I start with you kid.? How about WILLIAMS! Hahahaha. Williams, my oh my how that guy burned you so MANY times. I hope you’ve been practicing. Haha. Anyways, I’m sad that you weren’t able to attend the South Korea Trip. Especially since your cousin, Ryan was able to. Well I guess he was a little older. But then again, it was so nice to meet you when I came to Utah. You are a very smart kid when it comes to life. Maybe that’s how you Christians are… Anywho, I know you are in good hands following your entire family’s footsteps. They are great people and thus believe, their knowledge supersedes whatever I have taught you. Haha, although that night by the campfire was nice to read to you kids. I will continue to wait for your texts.. You kind of died off with those =[ Anyways good luck with school man!

You all have influenced my life so much. You guys are amazing people. All of you Christians! I hope one day to return to Utah to visit everyone. I hope we all remain in contact as well. You guys have helped me a lot in the last year. If there's anything I can do that is in my powers, please let me know! Love you all! Happy New Years!

kal el.

2011-01-02T03:01:00.002-05:00

You dont know who you are anymore,
You search for some part of your soul
But you dont find anything.
You dont find anything worth saving.

You move for a change,
Something better than what you had.
You left loved ones behind
To search for something more in life.
For a second you see a glimpse of
What you had
And what you could become.
For a split second you see that it is all up to you.

The ones you called friends dont exist anymore.
Your warm heart that once used to be,
Crushed.
You leave your friends, you leave your family
In search of the purpose of your existence.
The alley you are standing in is dark as the sun.

You'll forever wait for their phone call.
You'll drive around hoping for a text.
You'll wait til forever until they come around.
And they'll keep you there until they need you.

You detach yourself from everything that you used to know
You eliminate everything that knows you.
A change different from moving.
You are alone and there is no one to take notice.
People you cared for spread lies to create enemies.
Enemies infiltrate your army and turn them against you.

There is no more balance with people.
There is nothing to take your side.
Whats done is done.
Its you against the world.
Like superman saving the human race.
Trust no one with your secret.
Whatever you had are memories.
You must become whatever your destiny is,
Alone.

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